maradona Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 hi everyone, This isn't one of those catastrophe days where breaking nc is a life and death requirement.. Well not today lol....FML... I wanted to know is it normal do feel like your confidence is all but gone? It's hard to explain I feel like I have nothing to add, nothing interesting to say, like I am not myself at all... Not nearly as outgoing as before and shy with both guys and girls and I don't know how to get out of it... That's besides everything else like being depressed over a bunch of stuff that all happened at once work, school and relationship... It's been probably the worst 4-5 months of my life.. People say put yourself small goals but I just don't know how to re find myself I guess..I used to travel all the time before the relationship made me forget everything I liked to do... I did everything for her I think I went shopping every weekend to the point where I began to think I liked it... I don't remember what I liked to do.. I want to travel again but for the first time o am actually scared to travel alone... Because I don't know if il be able to meet people with everything that's happened but it might have the opposite effect and bring me back to who I was... what do I do? How do you rebuild yourself? Where do I start? Thank you for your input!!
dclan Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 hi everyone, This isn't one of those catastrophe days where breaking nc is a life and death requirement.. Well not today lol....FML... I wanted to know is it normal do feel like your confidence is all but gone? It's hard to explain I feel like I have nothing to add, nothing interesting to say, like I am not myself at all... Not nearly as outgoing as before and shy with both guys and girls and I don't know how to get out of it... That's besides everything else like being depressed over a bunch of stuff that all happened at once work, school and relationship... It's been probably the worst 4-5 months of my life.. People say put yourself small goals but I just don't know how to re find myself I guess..I used to travel all the time before the relationship made me forget everything I liked to do... I did everything for her I think I went shopping every weekend to the point where I began to think I liked it... I don't remember what I liked to do.. I want to travel again but for the first time o am actually scared to travel alone... Because I don't know if il be able to meet people with everything that's happened but it might have the opposite effect and bring me back to who I was... what do I do? How do you rebuild yourself? Where do I start? Thank you for your input!! Everything you are feeling is normal: Self loathing, pain, anger, sadness, regrett, nostalgia, etc. 2
lakerman34 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 hi everyone, This isn't one of those catastrophe days where breaking nc is a life and death requirement.. Well not today lol....FML... I wanted to know is it normal do feel like your confidence is all but gone? It's hard to explain I feel like I have nothing to add, nothing interesting to say, like I am not myself at all... Not nearly as outgoing as before and shy with both guys and girls and I don't know how to get out of it... That's besides everything else like being depressed over a bunch of stuff that all happened at once work, school and relationship... It's been probably the worst 4-5 months of my life.. People say put yourself small goals but I just don't know how to re find myself I guess..I used to travel all the time before the relationship made me forget everything I liked to do... I did everything for her I think I went shopping every weekend to the point where I began to think I liked it... I don't remember what I liked to do.. I want to travel again but for the first time o am actually scared to travel alone... Because I don't know if il be able to meet people with everything that's happened but it might have the opposite effect and bring me back to who I was... what do I do? How do you rebuild yourself? Where do I start? Thank you for your input!! I'm currently experiencing some self-loathing. I dated a bipolar girl, on and off for 3 months. Total, we probably dated about 2.5 months. We broke up 9 weeks ago yesterday. My self-loathing is due to the fact that I'm 95% over this, but that last 5% is proving to be impossible to get over. She's seeing a guy (vaguely looks like me, but is shorter and not as built -- she's only been on group dates with him, but tonight, they are doing the one-on-one thing for the first time), and I had a one night stand with this REALLY sexy girl on Thursday. My self-loathing is because I'm an empathetic person, and I wish I could say "eh, she's bipolar. Someone elses problem now. I want nothing to do with her." But, instead, I see her as a kind of wounded bird who used to tell me she's a weak person, and I'd tell her, "no. you are one of the strongest people I know. Always keep your head held high." That ish hurts. STILL. Regardless of how I felt with this breakup, my last breakup was far worse. I remember feeling VERY timid. I was easily knocked down, I thought the world was after me, I felt like a puddle. I didn't know how to be normal in social situations. I was just, well, immature and lost. What I did with that breakup was hang out w/ my friends A LOT. Stay away from the bottle and drugs. Go home and get a mama cooked meal. Your best friends are the best to get over people with. This breakup? Gym and work. My boss LOVES me right now. I work long hours and feel safe at work. She's not around, drama isn't around, all I've got is the task in front of me. Distract yourself. Find mental happiness. 1
Author maradona Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 Thank you for taking the time to reply. Problem is I was with her for 2yr n half and i saw her almost everyday I lost touch with so much people, I feel like I haven't done anything interesting or that I like that whole time. I don't feel like I have anything interesting to say it's bad.. Even though I did so much before I travelled all over, went out all the time and was always busy never had trouble meeting girls As you said I feel like a puddle... I don't know how to get it back together.. I got in touch with a lot of people my close friends have been there for me but they can't be there in the way I need they don't go out they all have gfs. I am not sure what to do.. I work a lot, drink n smoke often since it ended. I feel lost. I don't remember what I liked to do what I used to do.. I know time heals hurt but how do u get yourself back does it happen by itself? In social situations where I don't know people I freeze or I become incapable of taking I never had this problem before... Sometimes it's like nothing will come out.. This affected me so much I never thought a breakup could impact that much but then again we were supposed to get engaged she turned out to be a terrible person...
Author maradona Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 Just to add to previous post, I even started talking to a counsellor she thinks I'm depressed. It's not just break up, before it happened I had another job which was awful, extremely high stress and turnover, it caused me a burn out on top of stress for saving for a mortgage and studying for masters. I don't want to take anti depressants I want to get out of this hole on my own two feet I am scared I stay like this forever that I won't be me again.... This was my first love I have never had a breakup phase me before.. I don't know what to expect on how to get over it or how long it takes or that something better exists or not....
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