hopefullove Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 (edited) I met a man while on vacation. Nothing seductive happened, as I only came to realization now, after the fact, that he might have been interested in me, and missed all the clues while we were actually together for an hour, while waiting and riding the train together. I had asked him for directions, and he was ever so gracious and led me to my destination, we were chatting the whole time. His lifestyle is completely different from mine, he is older, and learned, intelligent, knowledgable, cultured, and established (the internet verifies this). He made comments such as, inviting me to an event, saying he had all these events he goes to all the time, I might enjoy it. He made comments such as, now he had an excuse to visit my city. I didn't know how to respond to these things, so I didn't. While we sat together, he did come close to me, to point some things out, and his hand was slightly touching my thigh. Again, I had no clue he was interested. He alluded to spending some time together, but my scheduled was full, and was unable to see him. He gave me his number (at the time, he said he wanted to send me some links on a topic we were discussing), and I texted him when I got to my hotel to thank him for guiding me. He wrote back "You're welcome kid, see you next trip." To which I thought, he is definitely not interested in me, and was just being kind to a stranger (he is 14 years older than me, we checked out each other's passports, he looks very youthful for his age though, I would have guessed 10 years younger, also this passport check again verified for me his identity for internet searches, which says who he says he is). When I returned home, I wrote to him that I hope I do get a chance to see him the next time I am in town, he gave me his schedule for his next two visits (but I am not going to just fly into town to see him! That's crazy talk) and through more texting, it sounded like he just invited me for a weekend getaway. I asked him if he was serious, and he said he was all over a trip together, it would be fun. We started talking about more traveling, and in the conversation, he inserted a lot of "we", "we should go here" "we should plan this"...It might have been flirting on a grand scale, only probable because of his lifestyle (but mostly not, because I live in reality). So now, I clue in, that he was interested. I don't know what to do with this. He is the most interesting man I have met, I would very much like to maintain this relationship, but realistically, he travels a lot, and I just met him, on a train. Only after cluing in that there was an opportunity, that I am now really starting to think about him, and in our texts, he is so knowledgeable about everything, it is so intriguing and increasingly attractive. I found him attractive to start, he is my type, tall, slim, charming. Again, he is 45, and thinking he would have no interest in me, I just stayed casual. I have been dating the most boring and bland people, to me, this would be an adventure. I would like to ask him to visit my city, I would like to spend some time with him. I don't know how to approach this. Edited November 9, 2014 by hopefullove
preraph Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 First, you really need to do this. Get online and spend the $25 or whatever it is and research him and find out if he's married. He very well may be. He probably at least has kids, so decide how you'd feel about that. They could be grown by now or not. Just do a background check. Be sure there's no red flags. If he passes muster, not married, and you're still interested, all you have to do is write him "The next time you ask me to something, I'm going to go."
Author hopefullove Posted November 9, 2014 Author Posted November 9, 2014 so we are in consensus here that what he is looking for is not friendship right? haha 1
mortensorchid Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 This was just some casual fling on a vacation, and when I say "fling" it doesn't have to be something sexual but just a passing friendship. Because that's all it is/was. You are apart now, and life just goes on.
Author hopefullove Posted November 9, 2014 Author Posted November 9, 2014 This was just some casual fling on a vacation, and when I say "fling" it doesn't have to be something sexual but just a passing friendship. Because that's all it is/was. You are apart now, and life just goes on. I am very much interested in him, at least as a person and would like to spend more time with him at least... how much effort should I put in to it.
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 This is not what he wants....he just wanted sex.
Thegreatestthing Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 It's like the film before sunrise! You should just make plans to see him again. 1
Author hopefullove Posted November 9, 2014 Author Posted November 9, 2014 It's like the film before sunrise! You should just make plans to see him again. Yes - I would love to. It was a chance meeting, i wouldn't fly over on my own to see him. It's a bit strange he would offer his points to me to fly somewhere entirely new, and I would do it in a heartbeat if the offer was real. I did say yes. I guess if I am trying to maintain the connection I should make the effort to keep in touch... He is busy with his life, but I do want to know him, so I guess I am asking what I should do.
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