Unsure420 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 Ok I'll try and make this short as possible. I'm 28 and my ex girlfriend is 25. She recently broke up wit me like 2 weeks ago over trust issuses. We've been dating and living together for about 3 years. She packed up all her clothes and went back to her fathers house. Long story short first week it was very little contact more of me trying to justify my self. Now this past week. We've been communicating. She came to the apartment last Monday' to see our dog. Talked a few times during the week. Now yesterday we agreed to hang out so I took her into nyc went to a few museums held hands all that fun stuff and when we came back she said she wanted to come up to the apartment to take a nap.. Which led to a little bit of kissing and touchy feel. She said she wants to take things slow and build her trust back in me. How do I do that? I don't want to constantly be the one imitating contact I want her to contact me. But I don't want to not contact her to think I lost interest.. By us hooking up last night is that a good sign she really still loves me and wants to work things out. Mind you we did not have sex and joked around about it and i told her jokingly as much as I want to I have to much respect for her and want to just lay here with her. And we did and it was really nice.. So forum folks help me out what is all this what do I do?!!
surferluke Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 (edited) Best thing to do is talk to her. Ask her exactly what taking it slow means. Hopefully it doesnt mean seeing other people. But I wouldnt ask her if that is what she means, because that will make you sound jealous. You will be able to tell from the convo if thats what she is saying without asking her. But, not knowing your whole situation and what you mean by TRUST issues. Maybe she just needs to feel comfortable around you again and know you arent going to do whatever you were doing. I was in a relationship with someone who had severe trust issues and it weighs so heavily on you no matter how much you love someone. My advice. If you love her and want to be with her then trust her. trust she wont hurt you and go from there. If she loves you too then she wont hurt you in that way. Living your life worrying all the time that she will cheat is no way to live and its not healthy for you either. How can you fully love someone and be in a relationship if you dont trust them? I think in many ways trust is just as important as love in a committed relationship. But communication is key. Next time you are with her ask if you can talk and calmly just say you love her and want to do whatever you need to do to make things right again. And you just need to know what taking things slow means. So you can take the steps you need to for her to feel comfortable in the relationship again. Now, like I said, I have no idea what you mean by trust issues so this is just assuming you are being irrational and jealous for no reason. If there was a legit reason then my advice might be different. Good luck. Edited November 9, 2014 by surferluke
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