baltimoregirl42 Posted March 15, 2005 Posted March 15, 2005 I am 26 and have been dating the same guy for about 7 months (he is 28). He and I have a lot of fun together and get along well most of the time. Sometimes though, he will say mean things to me (usually after drinking). Most of the time he is very sweet. However, sometimes he says things that are not very nice and really hurt my feelings. He has never laid a hand on me. Whenever I try to talk to him about things that he says or does that bother me, he turns away from me (if we are laying in bed), or he'll say "I don't want to talk about it like this" even though we're having a very civilized conversation. I ask him how he wants to talk about it and he just says "I don't know". Then I usually start to cry, and he gets irritated. He's not a bad guy, but these things really bug me and I don't know how and if they can be changed. I thought he was "the one" but now I'm not so sure. My parents liked him a lot at first, but are now telling me that they know I can do better. I love the guy a lot. Also, he's not very affectionate and I am. I leaned towards him for a kiss on the cheek one day waiting in line at the grocery store and he just stared at me. On the way I out the door I looked at him and jokingly stuck out my lower lip. He responded with, "You're just pissed because I wouldn't make out with you in line. You're so predictable" and shook his head and walked away. When do you know when enough is enough or if certain things are just trivial?
tanbark813 Posted March 15, 2005 Posted March 15, 2005 Originally posted by baltimoregirl42 When do you know when enough is enough or if certain things are just trivial? When you're posting on a message board asking people if you should be bothered. I don't think that stuff is trivial at all.
WhereSpiritsRoam Posted March 15, 2005 Posted March 15, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 When you're posting on a message board asking people if you should be bothered. I don't think that stuff is trivial at all. Ditto that. (Tanbark, is that you on your avatar?)
tanbark813 Posted March 15, 2005 Posted March 15, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam (Tanbark, is that you on your avatar?) Yes sir.
Pocky Posted March 15, 2005 Posted March 15, 2005 It looks like you two have different opinions of what a relationship is. While we'd like to think that when we meet someone and enter into a relationship that everything should just fit together sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes, we really have to sit down and talk about our expectations regarding relationships. Too many times we just assume that things will work out and there is a break down of communication. It's acceptable and necessary to be able to discuss these expectations with someone you're in a relationship. If you're unable to communicate then you don't have much of a foundation for the relationship to grow. I suggest talking to him. Have a night that's convenient for both of you and talk about the relationship. What you want, what you expect and what you see for the future. If he's unwilling to do that then I'd have to say he may not be as invested in the relationship as you are.
WhereSpiritsRoam Posted March 15, 2005 Posted March 15, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 Yes sir. Very cool. Baltimore, do you trust your parents' opinions? If they are telling you that you can do better, it may be time to jump ship on this one. I obviously don't know the guy, but you haven't painted a really good picture of him.
JoL Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 If he says "not very nice things to you" i am going to assume he verbally insults and abuses you. Run...run for the hills. If your parents hate him and he refuses to discuss problems with you AND he gets nasty get out NOW..He sounds like my ex-boyfriend who went mental on me and made my life a living misery for a year. And yes. He loved me "with all his heart" but he also liked to call me horrible names, degrade me and my parents had never even met him and hated him with a passion. If parents hate your boyfriend for his personality or treatment of you- they are usually right..sorry to say.
Donut Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 If nothing else he should have respect for your feelings. Saying mean things and then not talking about it or aplogizing is not respectful, and after 7 months I would say this is a good indicator of where this relationship is going.
Recommended Posts