Ashley S Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 I am probably going to be bashed for this, but I am really curious. I know a lot of guys, and I have yet to talk about this one, his name is Ben. I distanced myself from him because he's a douche (in my opinion) What I don't get is that he'll appear unexpectedly in my life. Just the other day he knocked at my door, and I was stunned to see him! He talked to my parents more, and then he asked what I was doing. I told him I was busy and had to do a project for school. He then asked my parents what they were doing, made small talk, and then my dad said "When are you going to be home?" I said "I am probably not going to be home tonight dad." Ben said "Who's house are you going to?" "Who?" And I didn't answer him, but then my dad said "Some guy's house" "I think they are doing the project for their class" Ben was silent. It's so weird because he doesn't talk to me any other time. He just showed up unexpected, and that is what he does. It was pointless because it was for no particular reason. I haven't seen or heard from him in 2 months, and he unexpectedly shows up at my door. Why? He doesn't talk to me any other time and he hasn't talked to me after showing up. Do guys do this to "check up" on the girl? Or any other possible reasons? Just a curious question. Thank you.
Survivor12 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 Yes, I am thinking about it, but I am curious about it. I have curiosity as to why a person would show up unexpectedly in your life, but not talk to you otherwise. ^^Your response is not what I asked. Thank you anyways. She did answer your question. His purpose for being there is to make himself visible to you--to make you think about him. He did and you are. The real question is--why haven't you asked him why he's there? 1
WhatIsLove2014 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 She did answer your question. His purpose for being there is to make himself visible to you--to make you think about him. He did and you are. The real question is--why haven't you asked him why he's there? I agree. We can't tell you exactly what people are thinking or why they do the things they do. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 It was his weird way of making sure you were still thinking about him. It worked. He sounds a bit..odd. Why didn't you ask him what he was doing there? 1
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 He is a douche in your opinion, so why didn't you just say to him, "I don't know what your deal is but stop coming around, you are not welcome here." 2
Author Ashley S Posted November 9, 2014 Author Posted November 9, 2014 She did answer your question. His purpose for being there is to make himself visible to you--to make you think about him. He did and you are. The real question is--why haven't you asked him why he's there? I guess because I am not confrontational? I don't like to question people or make things awkward lol, but I assumed he wanted to talk to my dad because he went straight to my dad, but they were just small talking though. It was weird because he was more engaging with my dad and my mother, and not so much with me. I should have asked why he was there.
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 Crap will keep happening to you if you don't stand up for yourself. Better to be an assertive woman that a doormat. You earn greater respect from others. 1
Author Ashley S Posted November 9, 2014 Author Posted November 9, 2014 I didn't ask because I am non-confrontational and I don't know....I am pretty shy, so I am not sure, maybe shyness? I know it's not really "confrontational" to ask someone why they are there, I guess I just didn't want to make things awkward. I don't know. I obviously do like him, yeah, because I did state in my post that I distanced myself from him because I thought he was a "douche" I do have some feelings for him. I am curious though why he does that? I know nobody can jump in his mind and give me a concrete answer, but that is what this forum is for right? Sharing opinions and/or insight? Giving another perspective? A more logical perspective? I just wonder if guys do this to "check up" on the girl or something. It's weird because he will just show up at my door unexpectedly and he'll ask what i'm doing, and he always does it on days when I have school, so, I am always saying i have to go to school, or do this or do that, and then he'll make small talk with my parents, and then leave. Then I don't hear from him for a couple of months and he'll do it again. I just find it weird too that he doesn't contact me before or after? He actually never contacts me! He just shows up randomly at my door. We both grew a distance with each other, he would always contact me and talk to me, but he doesn't do that anymore, just this weird behavior now lol. Thank you!
WhatIsLove2014 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 I feel like I've read this story before or similar from you. Why do guys feel comfortable randomly showing up at your house? That sounds really weird, no offense but this sounds really shady and if you don't want "them" there you need to tell them. Non-confrontational or not...if you don't like it then you need to say something. But you obviously don't care because you like these boys...so why question them (indirectly)...talk to them, they are right there in your face, at your house. 1
Author Ashley S Posted November 9, 2014 Author Posted November 9, 2014 I feel like I've read this story before or similar from you. Why do guys feel comfortable randomly showing up at your house? That sounds really weird, no offense but this sounds really shady and if you don't want "them" there you need to tell them. Non-confrontational or not...if you don't like it then you need to say something. But you obviously don't care because you like these boys...so why question them (indirectly)...talk to them, they are right there in your face, at your house. One of my other friends did the same thing but it was for a short time, and then he stopped for good. I was happy he did. You're right, I do need to talk to them more and more assertive and ask why they are here at my house. I am not asking this is a provocative way, I really want to know what you mean by "no offense but this sounds really shady" What sounds "shady" to you? What are you thinking? Sorry if that sounds rude, I am not saying this in a rude way, honestly I am curious as to what you mean by that? Thank you.
Diezel Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 I feel like I've read this story before or similar from you. Why do guys feel comfortable randomly showing up at your house? That sounds really weird, no offense but this sounds really shady and if you don't want "them" there you need to tell them. Non-confrontational or not...if you don't like it then you need to say something. But you obviously don't care because you like these boys...so why question them (indirectly)...talk to them, they are right there in your face, at your house. Bingo. This is like the second or third guy that has come over to her place and engaged in conversations with her parents. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 This is what I find off about it - this is not the first instance in which some guy you have deemed a douche has randomly appeared on your doorstop and proceeds to talk to your parents. What do your parents make of this? You've described these guys in other threads and I'm curious to know what makes them all "douches"? There appears to be quite a few strange guys in your life. To answer your other question - no, I don't believe most guys "check up" on girls like this. I've never experienced that in my 33 years. They generally do it only to make themselves appear on your radar again. Unless I'm misunderstanding what you mean by "check up" - what do you think his intentions are? 2
preraph Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 I think you need to keep your eyes on the back of your head open, because him ingratiating himself with your parents is a manipulative way to get at you and he is clearly jealous for no reason. He is probably watching you when you don't know it, seriously, and so it seems like he's popping up, but he's coming in out of desperation when he can't take it any longer. Watch out. I wouldn't leave him on Facebook or anything. 1
Author Ashley S Posted November 10, 2014 Author Posted November 10, 2014 This is what I find off about it - this is not the first instance in which some guy you have deemed a douche has randomly appeared on your doorstop and proceeds to talk to your parents. What do your parents make of this? You've described these guys in other threads and I'm curious to know what makes them all "douches"? There appears to be quite a few strange guys in your life. To answer your other question - no, I don't believe most guys "check up" on girls like this. I've never experienced that in my 33 years. They generally do it only to make themselves appear on your radar again. Unless I'm misunderstanding what you mean by "check up" - what do you think his intentions are? My parents don't know what I think of these guys because I don't talk about my personal life to my parents. I think they are all "douches" because they will do something that will make me think that. I felt that Ben is a douche because he seemed to toy with me, and he seemed to love the fact that I liked him, but not take me seriously. I hear from my friends all the time that i am too "critical" and "harsh" and I don't "give enough time" or I am "to quick to judge" etc. So I don't know if he really is a douche, or if I am too critical. I do have feelings for him, but I don't know he seems to be a little off mentally too. Again, I don't know if I am just being critical or if I am right. What I meant by "check up" is to see if maybe I had a boyfriend? I honestly don't know what his intentions were, but my guess would be that he is being creepy and seeing how my life is going or if I had a boyfriend? I also rejected him and I am stand-offish with him, so maybe he couldn't handle me not stroking his ego? Cause that's what he seemed to love. I am more cold towards him now. Thank you for your feedback. I think you need to keep your eyes on the back of your head open, because him ingratiating himself with your parents is a manipulative way to get at you and he is clearly jealous for no reason. He is probably watching you when you don't know it, seriously, and so it seems like he's popping up, but he's coming in out of desperation when he can't take it any longer. Watch out. I wouldn't leave him on Facebook or anything. You are the third person that said this. I was a little creeped out thinking he might be watching me. I don't want to say "stalking" because I think that is a little extreme, but I think there might be some watching or close distance that I don't realize. I find it very weird. Thank you for your insight.
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