porcelain_blue Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 Sorry about this long post but please read on... This guy I met on a dating site a few months ago. We only met twice and on the second meeting we ended up being intimate. It was his first time. I've never met anyone like him before because he is different from all the other guys I've dated in the past. He'd always say nice and encouraging things and was always there for me. I broke it off with him after 2 months when we had an argument about me still being in contact with my exes (as friends) because he was being too serious, possessive and clingy. Plus I wasn't really feeling the same connection. He tried to get me back but I kept ignoring his messages and eventually told him I didn't like him anymore and didn't want to continue to date him. He gave up but a few days later I started to miss him (which I didn't expect) so I messaged him saying I was missing him and wanted to tell him about my problems. And we started talking again. Then a few days later he said I was using him as my emotional support, playing games etc etc. that made me angry and I blocked him cos I couldnt take it anymore emotionally. I felt like I was having to support someone else's emotions too. He tried to contact me from different numbers. It got annoying so I eventually told him to **** off. After 2 weeks he sent me a message saying sorry about everything and told me he loves me. I ignored that too. But something happened again and I started to miss him again when I listened to a song and it reminded me of him. I couldnt help messaging him and telling him this so I unblocked him and started talking. It's been a few weeks now we've been talking every 3 or 4 days and now last week he sent me this out of nowhere. "I dont see myself getting anywhere if I just sit around and wait for you. I feel you're just stringing me along. I do really love you but you never seem to respect me and my feelings and you take my kindness and care for my weakness. I'd much rather be with someone who appreciate being loved. I'm sorry but it's very hard for to keep talking to a girl I love knowing she can't be mine and will be someone else's eventually. So I'm cutting you off completely because I deserve a lot better than you. Good bye." I haven't heard from him for a week now. Before that message, we didn't talk to each other for a week. Neither did I message him, nor did he. It was my birthday yesterday and he didn't even bother wishing me although I was the first one to wish him on his. It's driving me nuts! Why did he do that? I dont know why but I always end up going back to him after finishing things off. It's not that I miss the attention he gave me but I dont know why it happens. Any opinions on what should I do now? Thanks!
acrosstheuniverse Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 Leave him alone. You sound selfish and self-entitled. He gave you enough chances and has now shown he's man enough to cut people off who are only going to hurt him. He will move on to someone new and find happiness, so you need to forget him. You only want him now you can't have him. 3
veggirl Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 Leave him alone! You sound incredibly selfish. You want him when it's convenient to you and you want him on your terms, you don't give a crap about him or his feelings. I'm glad he finally came to his senses, he's honestly better off without a wishy-washy self-absorbed person in his life. 3
SunnySide0418 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 Sorry about this long post but please read on... This guy I met on a dating site a few months ago. We only met twice and on the second meeting we ended up being intimate. It was his first time. I've never met anyone like him before because he is different from all the other guys I've dated in the past. He'd always say nice and encouraging things and was always there for me. I broke it off with him after 2 months when we had an argument about me still being in contact with my exes (as friends) because he was being too serious, possessive and clingy. Plus I wasn't really feeling the same connection. He tried to get me back but I kept ignoring his messages and eventually told him I didn't like him anymore and didn't want to continue to date him. He gave up but a few days later I started to miss him (which I didn't expect) so I messaged him saying I was missing him and wanted to tell him about my problems. And we started talking again. Then a few days later he said I was using him as my emotional support, playing games etc etc. that made me angry and I blocked him cos I couldnt take it anymore emotionally. I felt like I was having to support someone else's emotions too. He tried to contact me from different numbers. It got annoying so I eventually told him to **** off. After 2 weeks he sent me a message saying sorry about everything and told me he loves me. I ignored that too. But something happened again and I started to miss him again when I listened to a song and it reminded me of him. I couldnt help messaging him and telling him this so I unblocked him and started talking. It's been a few weeks now we've been talking every 3 or 4 days and now last week he sent me this out of nowhere. "I dont see myself getting anywhere if I just sit around and wait for you. I feel you're just stringing me along. I do really love you but you never seem to respect me and my feelings and you take my kindness and care for my weakness. I'd much rather be with someone who appreciate being loved. I'm sorry but it's very hard for to keep talking to a girl I love knowing she can't be mine and will be someone else's eventually. So I'm cutting you off completely because I deserve a lot better than you. Good bye." I haven't heard from him for a week now. Before that message, we didn't talk to each other for a week. Neither did I message him, nor did he. It was my birthday yesterday and he didn't even bother wishing me although I was the first one to wish him on his. It's driving me nuts! Why did he do that? I dont know why but I always end up going back to him after finishing things off. It's not that I miss the attention he gave me but I dont know why it happens. Any opinions on what should I do now? Thanks! Oh wow - you need to grow up!! Good for him. He finally got enough self respect to move on from someone who is so immature and treated him horribly. Ignoring texts is a pet peeve of mine and so rude!!! 2
Frank2thepoint Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 It's driving me nuts! Why did he do that? I dont know why but I always end up going back to him after finishing things off. It's not that I miss the attention he gave me but I dont know why it happens. Any opinions on what should I do now? Thanks! He cut you off because he is tired of your sh*t, and realized you are selfish, play games, and have no emotional maturity. I commend the man for standing up for himself and moving on from you. You need to learn to treat people better. He's an a_______. Move on. I hope the "a_______" part means "amazing person", because you would have to be naive to think otherwise. 2
Author porcelain_blue Posted November 9, 2014 Author Posted November 9, 2014 I dont understand why everyone is saying I'm mean, selfish, horrible etc etc. Yes I admit the way I treated him was insensitive but I got scared. I'm not used to being with a guy like that because every other guy I dated just used me for sex and left me. This guy is the only one who has wanted something more than just sex. He was being so possessive and that scared me. But later I thought I had feelings for him that's why I kept going back to him but sometimes he said things like "I was playing games" etc. That's why I got angry. But now it's hard for me to see him drifting away, I never expected him to do that. I know I've made mistakes and I've learned from them and I'm ready to do anything to make it up to him. So, any advice on how can I get him back would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Author porcelain_blue Posted November 9, 2014 Author Posted November 9, 2014 I dont understand why everyone is saying I'm mean, selfish, horrible etc etc. Yes I admit the way I treated him was insensitive but I got scared. I'm not used to being with a guy like that because every other guy I dated just used me for sex and left me. This guy is the only one who has wanted something more than just sex. He was being so possessive and that scared me. But later I thought I had feelings for him that's why I kept going back to him but sometimes he said things like "I was playing games" etc. That's why I got angry. But now it's hard for me to see him drifting away, I never expected him to do that. I know I've made mistakes and I've learned from them and I'm ready to do anything to make it up to him. So, any advice on how can I get him back would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. I have realized it was my mistake. I got scared at that time... If I can get any advice on how to get him back or what should I say to him so he can believe I'm being truthful this time, let me know. Thanks
Author porcelain_blue Posted November 9, 2014 Author Posted November 9, 2014 Leave him alone! You sound incredibly selfish. You want him when it's convenient to you and you want him on your terms, you don't give a crap about him or his feelings. I'm glad he finally came to his senses, he's honestly better off without a wishy-washy self-absorbed person in his life. I understand why you are saying I'm selfish. But I'm nothing like the way I have acted with him. His possessiveness just scared me. It's hard for me to see him and leave and I dont want to lose him so please, if possible, let me know if there's anything I can do to get him back
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 I don't think you want him back because you like him, you want him back because that means you win. This guy stood up to you and it made you feel a little frazzled, not heartbroken. He isn't for you anyways because he is too inexperienced. He fell too hard and he doesn't know how to handle it or how to behave....this is why he is possessive, jealous etc. His emotions are out of control. This will only wear you down anyways. I say you have every right to be weary of his behavior, it's not healthy. It's a healthy choice for the both of you to stay away from each other and to move on. 1
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 Good on you for ending it, and good on him for cutting you off.
CrystalCastles Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 He was being so possessive and that scared me. Possessive?! You were talking to your EXES! That's not possessive at all. That is so disrespectful to the relationship and to your boyfriend. Do you seriously think any guy with healthy boundaries would be ok with that?!?! Wow. I doubt you're going to get him back. He's tired of the drama. You need to work on yourself before you date anyone else otherwise this will happen again.
ScreaminEagle Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 I think your Dave and Buster's game playing scared him. So let him go, so he find a normal woman.
Author porcelain_blue Posted November 9, 2014 Author Posted November 9, 2014 Possessive?! You were talking to your EXES! That's not possessive at all. That is so disrespectful to the relationship and to your boyfriend. Do you seriously think any guy with healthy boundaries would be ok with that?!?! Wow. I doubt you're going to get him back. He's tired of the drama. You need to work on yourself before you date anyone else otherwise this will happen again. He was not my boyfriend yet, we were progressing towards a relationship. He was being possessive by saying things like "he will wait for me", "he wont give up on me", "he loves me" and stuff.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 Leave him alone. You said and did some selfish, childish things and you need some perspective before entering another relationship, in my opinion. There's not much you could say now that would convince him you're suddenly ready to stop playing games and being immature. Not enough time has passed for him to take you seriously or to overcome the problems that caused the break-up in the first place. You yourself said you didn't feel a connection. Give him space and do not contact him. He's wise to stay away from you in the meantime. Take this as a learning experience on what not to do in future relationships.
Author porcelain_blue Posted November 9, 2014 Author Posted November 9, 2014 Possessive?! You were talking to your EXES! That's not possessive at all. That is so disrespectful to the relationship and to your boyfriend. Do you seriously think any guy with healthy boundaries would be ok with that?!?! Wow. I doubt you're going to get him back. He's tired of the drama. You need to work on yourself before you date anyone else otherwise this will happen again. He was not my boyfriend yet, we were progressing towards a relations. He was being possessive by saying stuff like "I'll wait for you", "I wont give up on you", "I love you" etc. And he was being too clingy! I felt like I was having to support his and mine emotions at the same time... 1
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 He was not my boyfriend yet, we were progressing towards a relations. He was being possessive by saying stuff like "I'll wait for you", "I wont give up on you", "I love you" etc. And he was being too clingy! I felt like I was having to support his and mine emotions at the same time... My point exactly....he doesn't have the experience to deal with such emotions. You both are on a different page, it wouldn't have worked out.
Frank2thepoint Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 I dont understand why everyone is saying I'm mean, selfish, horrible etc etc. Yes I admit the way I treated him was insensitive but I got scared. I'm not used to being with a guy like that because every other guy I dated just used me for sex and left me. You knowingly treated him bad. That was mean and horrible. You are being selfish because you want him back so you can continue treating him bad. A self-respecting man will not ever go back to dating someone like you. When he called you out on playing games, you became angry with him because you know it was the truth. The truth hurts. Another problem is you keep dating guys that use you for sex and leave. Why do you allow that to happen to you? And since you are not used to being treated more than a sex toy, that outlook will hinder you from ever being in a loving relationship with a guy that wants more than just sex. You need to stop dating such men, establish your boundaries, and break the cycle. You need to work on yourself.
veggirl Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 He was not my boyfriend yet, we were progressing towards a relations. He was being possessive by saying stuff like "I'll wait for you", "I wont give up on you", "I love you" etc. And he was being too clingy! I felt like I was having to support his and mine emotions at the same time... Okay so what has changed? You don't like how he acts why do you want him to call you now? 1
Author porcelain_blue Posted November 9, 2014 Author Posted November 9, 2014 Okay so what has changed? You don't like how he acts why do you want him to call you now? I dont know. I just cant get him out of my head. Many people are saying I want him now because he's gone and I cant have him anymore. It's not that. I have guys hitting on me everyday and it hasnt happened to me before that I started missing a guy after I left him. I miss his childishness, weirdness and literally everything about him and I just wish there would be a way I can have him back
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 As the saying goes, we want more what we can't have. Don't worry in about a week or two you will be obsessed with someone else and he will be a distant memory.
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