Mid-50s Men and Texting. Clueless or Indifferent?

[PumpkinLumpkin]

Okay. I just forgave him in my mind. He's 14 years older which means he's 14 years closer to death. Poor thing. Text whenever you want. You're going to die sooner than I.

[writergal]

Okay. I just forgave him in my mind. He's 14 years older which means he's 14 years closer to death. Poor thing. Text whenever you want. You're going to die sooner than I.

 

Lol! You're such a good Samaritan Pumpkin.

[rester]

The only excuse I will accept from him is if he was actually on a date with another woman. That would be very rude to text me when his attention should be on her.

 

I know it sounds really weird, but we are not committed to each other. He is free to date other people right now, as am I.

 

And I'm quite confident that if there is another woman, my charming qualities and star-like beauty and composure and maturity will outshine her. :D

 

(I'm somewhat serious, but kidding with that last part)

 

I'm confused about why the only excuse he could have is that he was with another woman. What if he went snowshoeing for the weekend? Spent the weekend camping? Sitting around in his pajamas? What does it matter?

 

It sounds like you're upset because you don't feel like he's showing enough interest, but he's asked you out on four dates in only two weeks. I think that shows interest.

[PumpkinLumpkin]

I'm confused about why the only excuse he could have is that he was with another woman. What if he went snowshoeing for the weekend? Spent the weekend camping? Sitting around in his pajamas? What does it matter?

 

It sounds like you're upset because you don't feel like he's showing enough interest, but he's asked you out on four dates in only two weeks. I think that shows interest.

 

Cuz I just saw him on Friday! He did not go snowshoeing or camping or dolphin riding or unicorn catching.

 

I am upset that he texted me about something that I own. I responded with a question that benefits HIM and HIM ALONE. And no response for 36 hours.

 

It's more than rude. It's unappreciative. But I'm over it. Life is too short. Screw it.

[BluEyeL]

Is there a fifth date?

[Fondue]

You know, there are times when texts are not received.

 

Happened to me on more than several occasions.

 

Or his phone broke.

 

Or he is having a "**** EVERYTHING" kind of weekend and is just disconnected from the world.

 

You're upset over a single text. I feel like that's just a LITTLE bit loony.

 

EDIT: Yes, I'm aware your overall thread is about his "lack" of communication in general. But that could just be his communication style. Maybe you're simply incompatible. You said it yourself on the previous page, you're an attractive woman that is capable of landing a man and is doing so by dating others. WHy then are you so stuck on this dude? It is evident you guys are incompatible in communication.

Edited November 10, 2014 by Fondue

[BluEyeL]

You know, there are times when texts are not received.

 

Happened to me on more than several occasions. .

It actually happened to me a couple of week ago with my BF. We were both freaking out behind closed doors. Me that he didn't text me, him that he texted me and I didn't reply. I didn't receive his text.

 

When we met and he said that he was worried that he "hasn't heard from me" the day before, I showed him I didn't have a text from him and he showed me the text he sent. He said that he had to calm himself down. I also freaked out big time (in private).

 

That convinced me that texting is stupid. I much prefer calling.

[Keenly]

This is what dating has come to. Its been 2 full days since you talked to him last and you are already freaking out.

 

 

Calm down.

[Lady2163]

Wait...four dates in two weeks? Holy crap, I'd be over the moon.

 

I don't know if I buy the whole chase scenario. Obviously, men and women are different, but when I'm becoming friends with someone new, I do want to talk to them, to get to know them.

 

If this guy were to become my boyfriend, I'd want to talk to him several times a day....whether that be talking, texting, email or in person.

 

My suggestion, instead of texting, call and leave a voice mail if he doesn't answer. If he doesn't respond quickly, you have your answer.

 

My other suggestion....ask him! Find out what his texting pattern is.

[thefooloftheyear]

Im almost 50...Dont use my cell while driving, dont own a smartphone(dont need it), dont use it while at work, sleeping, or at the gym...That leaves about an hour or so of time in 24 when its actually within arms reach...

 

Maybe he is the same way.??..I find a lot of guys arent as hung up on having mobile phones attached at the hip as women are...I mean, some of the women i see cant even put it down for a second..

 

I didnt read the whole thread so I dont know all of the details, but maybe try to gauge how he uses the phone before judging anything...

 

TFY

[PumpkinLumpkin]

Is there a fifth date?

 

I won't be asking for one.

 

I'll worry about it when and if he asks for one.

 

My interest level in him dropped from 90 percent to 20 percent after reading all messages.

[BluEyeL]

I won't be asking for one.

 

I'll worry about it when and if he asks for one.

 

My interest level in him dropped from 90 percent to 20 percent after reading all messages.

Oh...really? That's not good, I mean that's more of a problem than texting. I have had differences in communication before, but the man always asks me for the next date at the end of the previous one. All the ones that were interested.

 

So maybe he was more in it for getting laid and since it didn't happen...

 

In any case, not responding to a direct question shows a character flaw, so good riddance if he's gone.

[writergal]

No, don't contact him Pumpkin. He waited 36 hours to respond to your text question? So lame!!

 

I mean, if he had been out hunting unicorns, ski-jump training, or on a safari I'd understand the reason for his silence. Who can get cell phone reception around a unicorn (can't get bars around the alicorn of a unicorn), above or below sea level?

 

He's an grown man. All he had to do was pick up the phone and *beep* *boop* *beep* text or call you back that same day.

 

Since he's a doctor, he really should get his heart checked, to see if it's stopped working. Sounds like he could use a Dr. Phil heart transplant.

[Divasu]

He knows how to text but the frequency and time he takes to respond is killing me! We've been on four dates over a period of two weeks. I have let him initiate all of the dates AND texts because this is my method of how to gauge his interest; however after sending me a text, he sometimes takes up to 24 hours to respond, and when he does it's usually a one-word response.

 

How is it that people managed to date and enter relationships, before "texting" came into the picture? I think you're placing more emphasis on one aspect, versus balancing out all the elements in its entirety.

 

Texting at this stage should be used to touch base, not base a developing relationship upon.

Edited November 10, 2014 by Divasu

[Tinroof53]

What was his text question about? What did he ask you?

 

And what did you ask him after that?

 

Were your dates during the week or on the weekend as well?

[PumpkinLumpkin]

Oh...really? That's not good, I mean that's more of a problem than texting. I have had differences in communication before, but the man always asks me for the next date at the end of the previous one. All the ones that were interested.

 

He never asks for dates at the end of a date. He usually calls or texts and sets up another one a few days after.

 

So maybe he was more in it for getting laid and since it didn't happen...

 

In any case, not responding to a direct question shows a character flaw, so good riddance if he's gone.

 

I'm not sure, as this is all happening in real time. I have to give myself time to think about what I really want out of the cards I've been dealt and to stick with my goals.

[rester]

It actually happened to me a couple of week ago with my BF. We were both freaking out behind closed doors. Me that he didn't text me, him that he texted me and I didn't reply. I didn't receive his text.

 

When we met and he said that he was worried that he "hasn't heard from me" the day before, I showed him I didn't have a text from him and he showed me the text he sent. He said that he had to calm himself down. I also freaked out big time (in private).

 

That convinced me that texting is stupid. I much prefer calling.

 

Not saying it's the case here, but I've had the same thing happen to me. It's only happened two or three times in the last couple years, so it's rare, but it does happen. My phone will show a sent message, and the recipient will show me their phone with no incoming message.

[writergal]

Communication in relationships would be much easier if everyone had psychic powers.

[PumpkinLumpkin]

What was his text question about? What did he ask you?

 

And what did you ask him after that?

 

I already stated the basics numerous times without getting into details. It really doesn't matter what the subject matter is. If you're really interested in the person, it could be about floating unicorns and you'd respond.

 

Were your dates during the week or on the weekend as well?

 

Dates were Wed, Sun, Wed, Fri. What does this mean?

[PumpkinLumpkin]

Not saying it's the case here, but I've had the same thing happen to me. It's only happened two or three times in the last couple years, so it's rare, but it does happen. My phone will show a sent message, and the recipient will show me their phone with no incoming message.

 

I know this did not happen with him. He's pulled this before where he texted me something, I responded with a two-word question, and he doesn't respond until the next day. And when he did, it was one word.

 

I don't believe in coincidences. He just takes his damned time responding.

[BlueIris]

I’m a 54 year old professional with an awkward (well, incompetent) relationship with my iPhone and for about a year after getting it, I would send texts and then hold the phone to my ear to hear the recipient’s response. All the time. Luckily the man I was dating at the time found it hilarious, because he did the same thing. Another thing I did, and still do sometimes, is not hit send. Quite a bit, actually. My BF understands this but past dates often didn't.

[PumpkinLumpkin]

How is it that people managed to date and enter relationships, before "texting" came into the picture? I think you're placing more emphasis on one aspect, versus balancing out all the elements in its entirety.

 

Texting at this stage should be used to touch base, not base a developing relationship upon.

 

All of the elements:

 

Poor response time

Poor communication in between dates

Huge make-out fests

14 years older than I

Richer than I

[writergal]

All of the elements:

 

Poor response time

Poor communication in between dates

Huge make-out fests

14 years older than I

Richer than I

 

 

The first two indicates low interest in anything serious with you (right now).

The third indicates high interest in his lower region.

The fourth indicates he's been around the block and knows EXACTLY how he's treating you and the effects it has.

The fifth indicates the possibility for him to be someone's old timey sugar daddy.

[smackie9]

Saturdays are usually reserved for their favorite date.

[smackie9]

Has anyone ever thought that he may not want to come off as needy, so he holds back to increase desire? It's the push and pull method that gets women reeling in their seat. I think it's working.