Loss Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 Hey guys! Thanks a lot for reading my post! I met my girlfriend on online dating website 4 months ago and it really clicked for us. For about 3 months I was very happy and could tell she was very into me. We would talk to each other everyday either by text or on the phone, she would contact me a lot throughout the day, and we met each other in person at least twice a week. We even decided that we will move in together in the summer. But things started going bad about a month ago when I started to feel that she has lost interest in me. I know I'm not the most interesting or fun guy to be around and can be very quiet but I've been trying to be very kind and nice to her. The frequent texts and conversations have stopped, she has been cancelling our planned dates and it just doesn't feel the same. From time to time we used to get ourselves a room to cuddle, but now if I ask she doesn't want to. I have asked her about it and she said that everything is fine, and that she's been busy and not feeling too well lately. But it's been weeks and it didn't get better. One time I suggested on the phone that maybe we should break up because I've been feeling very sad and it's taking an emotional toll on me. She went on defensive and said that she doesn't want to lose me. One thing to note is that about a little over a year ago her ex-boyfriend of 7 years broke up with her and she has been distraught over it. She still thinks about him and talks about him. She still misses him. However, most of her friend circle were his friends and after the break up these friends went away. If I break up with her she will have nobody except her parents and no doubt will feel very lonely. I think that is the reason she doesn't want to let me go while not really liking me anymore. I feel like I'm simply an option now, someone to hang out with until something better comes along and I feel terrible about it. I really like her and will miss her a lot but I'm contemplating breaking up with her. We were supposed to meet up tonight but she cancelled (again) but we're supposedly meeting up tomorrow. What do you guys think I should do? Should I just end it tomorrow?
Haerts Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 Cancelling so many dates, not wanting to cuddle, acting different and missing her ex... these are obvious signs she's not interested anymore and you're being a rebound. If you're not happy with that, then you should stand your ground and not look back. If it means she'll be lonely and sad, well, let me ask you, how are you feeling now? I bet lonely and sad, right? So think about yourself and do whatever is the best for you, not for her. Also, if you're okay with that, you could suggest you both could be friends, although it seems like you do like her and she's the one drifting a part, so it most likely wouldn't work. Anyway, get out of it, it's not making you happy anymore and therefore you should try to find someone who will make you happy - the more time you waste with her, the more time you could've been using on someone who could be making you feel better.
Stumble Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 If my bf tells me that he still misses his ex and thinking about his ex then I won't be with him. I would leave. Clearly she isn't really into you. That's very disrespectful and selfish of her to not want to let you go. Some people would rather be with someone than alone, eventhough they are not in love with the person. I don't know much she loves you, I'm sure she has feelings for you, but if she says she still misses the ex then end of. Major warning sign
smackie9 Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 Clearly her lack of friends is not your problem so drop the guilt. This is just a short relationship, and you are truly not very invested or you would be freaking out about losing her. Your heart isn't into it, so the best solution is to breakup.
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