X14Halo Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 I have recently realized that women do not want men who just treat them nice. They need some strong chemistry to exist. I would consider myself a little shy, so I am bad at initiating things and bad at coming up with clever things to say. What then, can make somebody want you more, besides just doing nice things for them all the time?
Mister Zen Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 I have recently realized that women do not want men who just treat them nice. They need some strong chemistry to exist. I would consider myself a little shy, so I am bad at initiating things and bad at coming up with clever things to say. What then, can make somebody want you more, besides just doing nice things for them all the time? If you are not comfortable with your real personality, women will never find you attractive. To be sexy you have to embrace whatever you are. As long as you can do the approach followed by the close.. you will do fine. I've gotten dates before from cold approaches where I said less than 10 words. Women have suckered the majority of men into thinking they must offer as much as possible to get a woman's attention. I say offer as little as possible. Sample approach: YOU: "Hi there, I think you're cute." HER: "Thanks" YOU: "Where are you from?" HER: "Blah, blah" YOU: "Are you in college?" (this is flattering if they are over 25 and a conversation starter if they are actually in college HER: "Blah, blah, blah" YOU: "How would you like to grab a drink with me sometime soon? I need to run." HER: "Sure" (or she will reject you) YOU: Give me your phone number. I'll text you later. The conversation should take about 1-3 minutes. You don't have to smile, flirt or anything. You can just say that stuff in a boring monotone voice and some girl will still date you.
Author X14Halo Posted November 8, 2014 Author Posted November 8, 2014 (edited) I think I mean, once you already are dating a girl for a few months. Not somebody new. I feel that I am becoming too boring and too nice, and I just don't know what to do to make her laugh and smile more besides do nice things and take her out to nice places. The first 2 months were amazing and we were both super happy and giggly, but the past 2 weeks have been a turnaround and now she needs time to think about her feelings for me, even though in my mind things were amazing. We used to be able to go out to the beach or out to eat and just talk nonstop about whatever, and make each other laugh. Now we go out and it is almost dead silent and I find myself thinking of what to say to get conversation flowing. It's just becoming a little unnatural and I don't know why things changed so quickly. She hasn't contacted me in a week now after saying she needs time to think. I am not contacting her at all and will give her time to think. Edited November 8, 2014 by X14Halo
Mister Zen Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 I think I mean, once you already are dating a girl for a few months. Not somebody new. I feel that I am becoming too boring and too nice, and I just don't know what to do to make her laugh and smile more besides do nice things and take her out to nice places. The first 2 months were amazing and we were both super happy and giggly, but the past 2 weeks have been a turnaround and now she needs time to think about her feelings for me, even though in my mind things were amazing. We used to be able to go out to the beach or out to eat and just talk nonstop about whatever, and make each other laugh. Now we go out and it is almost dead silent and I find myself thinking of what to say to get conversation flowing. It's just becoming a little unnatural and I don't know why things changed so quickly. When women pull back, its best to pull back even more. The more you chase them the more they run from you. I've seen no exceptions to this rule. You might be shocked by what I'm about to tell you but I guarantee it will work. My advice is DO NOTHING. Put your feet up, have a beer, get in touch with your male friends, do fun stuff without inviting her. One thing that always makes women act right is ignoring them. For women, attention is like oxygen.
Author X14Halo Posted November 8, 2014 Author Posted November 8, 2014 (edited) You are right. Relating to this, I have also realized I have been spoiling her too much, been too available all the time, been too nice and boring, and haven't been a strong leader. I will pull back and see if she reaches back out to me. And if she does come back, then I will stop handing her everything on a silver platter. Her surfboard is at my place so she will have to contact me eventually : P And hey, if things don't work out then it wasn't meant to be and I have a blind date already lined up through a friend Edited November 8, 2014 by X14Halo 1
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