JackJackxD Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 In the last two weeks I've managed to stop thinking about my Ex (Dated for 2.5 years, broke up Mid-September), I've focused on work, gym...etc. Just when I've started to believe that I'm finally moving on, she comes back into my head again. These few days I kept missing her, and even dreaming about her during my sleep! I've never dreamed about someone 3 nights in a row before! Its so weird! Things came up, and I ended up feeling hurt again at the time I miss her the most. Me and my Ex share this group chat with our mutual friends from University, we talk about a wide variety of stuff there. So we were talking about a group gathering for Christmas at one of our friend's house. And her house happened to have a piano, so me and this other friend talked about what songs we were going to play there. I joked about playing this really repetitive song (similar to Nyan Cat). My Ex said she wouldn't go to the gathering if I played that song. I wasn't sure if she was joking or not so I decided not to think to much. But then she continued saying the song has been a traumatic experience in the chat (Again not sure if she was joking or not). I used to play that song to annoy my Ex during our relationship in a jokish way, she laughed and was playful about it. When our mutual friend asked what song is it, I replied saying "That song used to be my favorite song". Then my Ex replied "I FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR FUTURE WIFE". At that moment I got really mad. I mean, even if you were the one that didn't want me, it doesn't mean someone else won't like my qualities. Why the hell would you say that in front of our mutual friends? I didn't want to start an argument in the group chat so I simply replied "Thx" and stopped engaging into their conversations. Later on, the topic shifted to what kind of guys/girls they like. My Ex started listing out things that she told me when she broke up with me. She said she wanted someone "Mature", someone who likes deep thoughts, and someone who thinks over things before they act. Basically those things are the exact opposite of me. One of our mutual friends said "Well guys grow up slower than girls", and my Ex responded "And some guys never grow up at all". I wasn't sure if it was directed at me or not, but I just thought it is really insensitive to start listing out these sort of things when she knew I was there in the group. I don't know if she is saying these kind of things on purpose, or she just doesn't care about my feelings anymore, but that really hurt me. I ended up going to one of our mutual friend's place (She is part of the group chat, and lives 3 floors below me), and ate all her chocolate. XD After I've calmed down, I've started missing her again, and I don't know whether I've fallen back to Step 1 all over again. I have to see her in University tomorrow and I don't know how I'm going to act in front of her.
Seeker12 Posted November 2, 2014 Posted November 2, 2014 (edited) Mate you are seriously pulling yourself if not holding yourself back, NC is NC man, sorry to say, you have to leave that group chat. Avoid your ex, get her out of your life, your worth more than that, and there is a girl out there who will think all your attributes and characteristics are perfect. But its not your ex, take control, drop her and drop all interaction and contact, and move on and find that damn girl whose worth your time. Shes pulling some harsh low blows to be honest, you dont deserve that, you are you, you cant be the product of someone elses wishes, to be honest you were held the more mature stance, if my ex did that to me in a group with my mates etc. i would rip into her so damn hard she would have another a**hole, put that damn ex in her damn place, sorry its just annoying me the way shes acting towards you. Edited November 2, 2014 by Seeker12
Author JackJackxD Posted November 2, 2014 Author Posted November 2, 2014 Mate you are seriously pulling yourself if not holding yourself back, NC is NC man, sorry to say, you have to leave that group chat. Avoid your ex, get her out of your life, your worth more than that, and there is a girl out there who will think all your attributes and characteristics are perfect. But its not your ex, take control, drop her and drop all interaction and contact, and move on and find that damn girl whose worth your time. Shes pulling some harsh low blows to be honest, you dont deserve that, you are you, you cant be the product of someone elses wishes, to be honest you were held the more mature stance, if my ex did that to me in a group with my mates etc. i would rip into her so damn hard she would have another a**hole, put that damn ex in her damn place, sorry its just annoying me the way shes acting towards you. It is physically impossible to have NC because we go to the same University, study the same course and even have the same timetables. I don't want to leave the group chat because we discuss work related things as well and it is helpful. I don't even know what's gotten into her. I mean, a week ago we talked once and she seemed totally fine/normal. And suddenly in the group chat she started firing shots at me for no reason. Even one of our mutual friends messaged me telling me she can't believe she said those things. I was really tempted to fire back, but squashed things since I don't want to make things awkward for the friendship group.
Author JackJackxD Posted November 3, 2014 Author Posted November 3, 2014 (edited) My Ex-GF dumped me for 1.5 months now, and we dated for 2.5 years. She told me that she was over it and have no feelings for me anymore. She asked to be friends and I agreed. At the start I went for around 2 weeks of LC with her, we saw each other because we study the same course at the same university, but we didn't speak to each other. After that 2 weeks, I asked her if it was too awkward to be friends and she said no. I started seeing her more again as we shared the same group of friends. I acted like everything was fine and we are still friends. We still talked normally in group conversations, even though I've realized that she rarely initiates contact with me and feels kind of cold. She still laughs at my jokes with the group though. I initiated contact once on FB when she lost her wallet, we chit chatted for a bit and ended the conversation. Everything seemed fine. However, in this last two weeks I feel like shes suddenly acting really mean towards me. Some examples would be how she would state what she likes in guys (basically everything opposite of me) in our online group conversations. When I tell something I think is interesting to the group, she is like "Funny~" sarcastically. For as long as I've known her, she doesn't do that to the people she hates, she just ignores them. So I don't know why she suddenly changed to this. Is it because she hates me? Is it a sign that she is telling me to piss off? It is really bothering me because I don't know what is going on. I talked to one of our mutual friends and she thinks I'm not acting clingy towards her, and I speak to her just like a normal friend. In fact, she feels like I'm closer to her than my Ex. To be honest I kinda still like her which is why it is bothering me. And also I don't want to start an argument and make things awkward for our group of friends, so I just pretend nothing happened/laugh over it when shots are being fired at me. I am not being a wuss and taking crap from her, I'm just trying to be the more mature person here and want to keep the friendship group together rather than stir some argument. (Funny thing is she broke up with me because she said I'm too "immature" xD) How can I get her to warm up to me again? Or at least treat me as equals among our friends. Edited November 3, 2014 by JackJackxD
Author JackJackxD Posted November 8, 2014 Author Posted November 8, 2014 (edited) She was the one who broke up with me 1.5 months ago, and we were together for 2.5 years. She wasn't angry on the day we broke up, she seemed upset and she cried. It was a break up due to the fact that I kept repeating the same mistakes, and in the end she was disappointed to the point where she doesn't have feelings for me anymore. She told me she wanted to be friends and said she didn't want to reconcile when I asked her for another chance 4 days after the break up. It has been 1.5 months now, and we see each other on almost a daily basis since we have the same university. Why does she seem so awkward around me? Like she avoids sitting next to me in lectures/tutorials. When me, her and 2 other friends go book a study room, she always leave the room with the other 2 friends when they all go to the toilet (maybe girls just like to flock to the toilets together? ). In situations where we are waiting to go into tutorials, she always tries to stand opposite to me rather than on the same side. In group conversations, she actively chips in even though when my questions aren't directed to her. An example would be me talking to this mutual friend about music, and I said "Oh you heard of this song? *hums the song*", and before my mutual friend can respond my Ex-GF says "I know this song too! Its from XXXX isn't it?" However, whenever I try to talk to her in group settings, she would talk to me really awkwardly, and she can't maintain eye contact, you can tell she is trying to sound as emotionless as possible. So what on earth is going on? Is she feeling guilty? Or is she just uncomfortable having me around? She told me she has truly let go already and have no feelings for me anymore. If that is the case then why is she acting like this? Right now I'm making it clear that I don't want none of this awkward BS anymore by avoiding these group study situations. The first time I went to study on my own my Ex-GF asked our mutual friend why I didn't stay in the study room with them, but I told my friend to simply tell her that I want to study alone. I'm still have a lot of feelings for her, but if she is going to act all awkward/uncomfortable around me then I'd rather not be friends with her. Edited November 8, 2014 by JackJackxD
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