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got hit on everytime i go to the club with the guy i like

Jatan

By Jatan
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Jatan Member

Jatan

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Recently i have been out with this guy that i like. We went clubbing together. Everytime we went clubbing, men will come approaching me. He will protect me in the silent way as he doesn't want to create a scene.

I am just curious will he get pissed off and leave me or will he love me more? I hugged him in the club to show that i want him protecting me when an irritating guy keep standing beside me trying to touch me. I will usually move towards him to get rid of those men.

Confused and worried that he may feel i am a terrible gal that often drink n gets drunk.

Uk gal

Dallers Established Member

Dallers

Posted
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Recently i have been out with this guy that i like. We went clubbing together. Everytime we went clubbing, men will come approaching me. He will protect me in the silent way as he doesn't want to create a scene.

I am just curious will he get pissed off and leave me or will he love me more? I hugged him in the club to show that i want him protecting me when an irritating guy keep standing beside me trying to touch me. I will usually move towards him to get rid of those men.

Confused and worried that he may feel i am a terrible gal that often drink n gets drunk.

Uk gal

 

Confident man - Ego trip. He will love it and the more you get hit on and reject other men for him and show affection to him not to mention that you want him protecting you the more his ego will enjoy it.

 

Insecure man - You would know already because he would be flipping out and blaming you for attracting these men not the other way around.

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irc333 Established Member

irc333

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I typically avoid the nightclub scene if I have a woman. Just don't even go to them and find venues that aren't catering to horndogs.

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Imported Established Member

Imported

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Depends on you. Your behaviour and your reaction and how you handle them. Guy checking out a girl I am with can be an ego boost I guess. Guy coming up to her in my face is an insult.

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acrosstheuniverse Established Member

acrosstheuniverse

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May find it a turn off that you turn into the damsel in distress type and expect him to 'protect' you from other guys: he will wonder what you do when he isn't around and also wonder if you're gonna end up putting him in a position where he's getting into a conflict with some meathead.

 

What's wrong with you turning round and telling the guys you're not interested? He can see that you can handle yourself and you're a strong, capable woman. And that you know how to dissuade men from hitting on you.

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J21 Established Member

J21

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Stop going clubbing and getting drunk. He won't think you're a "terrible gal that often drink n gets drunk."

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mr_dave Established Member

mr_dave

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Do you enjoy the attention OP?

If a guy comes along and starts encroaching on your personal space then YOU should tell them to go away. It's not up to your boyfriend who can and can't speak to you.

 

When I last had a girlfriend similar things happened, I hate going to clubs anyway, but with her I had to be on guard the whole time. I think she enjoyed the attention actually, which was a huge red flag that I didn't see.

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Jatan Member

Jatan

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I was drunk and i didnt want to talk to those men close up. I just grabbed my guy. Isnt that gd enough to tell them i am not interested? I do not want to appear paranoid by shouting at those men to go away too.

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Jatan Member

Jatan

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Enjoy going to club when i am stress or when i wanna have fun dancing. No intention to hook up guys. Guys coming just tell me that i may look gd. But some guys just go beyond talking but wanna touch u. I am scare of those men. With my guy ard i feel safer. However, i do not want him to think i am a bad gal. I just want to relax w him. Didnt want those attention from other guys though. Just curious, y will men still come up to a gal when she is already w a boyfriend? Any idea?

MrMeh Established Member

MrMeh

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Enjoy going to club when i am stress or when i wanna have fun dancing. No intention to hook up guys. Guys coming just tell me that i may look gd. But some guys just go beyond talking but wanna touch u. I am scare of those men. With my guy ard i feel safer. However, i do not want him to think i am a bad gal. I just want to relax w him. Didnt want those attention from other guys though. Just curious, y will men still come up to a gal when she is already w a boyfriend? Any idea?

 

Guys still approach because sometimes they still manage to pull a number or more from a taken girl. Also, the guys approaching taken girls have no remorse for their actions, hence being ignorant of the consequences and damages that might occur to anybody else.

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Jatan Member

Jatan

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But mr meh, if u were my that guy, how will u think about me? Just curious and also worried that he may look at me differently.

IronZ Established Member

IronZ

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I typically avoid the nightclub scene if I have a woman. Just don't even go to them and find venues that aren't catering to horndogs.

 

Agree with you. Only reason for me to be in a club is to see if I can attract some female attention. That's not the right date setting for a couple at all.

NJ123 Established Member

NJ123

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But mr meh, if u were my that guy, how will u think about me? Just curious and also worried that he may look at me differently.

 

Honestly, why do you want to keep going to these clubs when you know this is going to keep happening? Seems to me you like the attention from these guys if you have no intention to stop. If you think it's going to affect your relationship than you should stop going.

Lernaean_Hydra Established Member

Lernaean_Hydra

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I was out with this guy I've been seeing last weekend (Halloween) and I kept getting hit on. We were obviously "together" but as time wore on I had to basically physically attach myself to the guy I was WITH to make it clear I wasn't interested in other people's advances. Seriously, at one point I had him carry me around (piggyback) the outdoor area of the club so there was no misunderstanding about whom I both came and planned to leave with.

 

To be honest I sympathize with this dilemma because I was seriously taken aback by how brazen some guys can be and pretty pissed at the guys who made obvious moves because it was not only disrespectful to my date but to ME as well. It started to irritate me and it definitely started to irritate him as well. Unfortunately, later on in the night he got sort of angry at me - for reasons he, the next day, couldn't even fully articulate - as if the attention was somehow my fault.

 

I don't think your guy will think you're a terrible girl though. After some time to think on it, he'll either come to be flattered by the fact that you were getting so much attention - while secure HE has your attentions - or he'll at least come to realize it really wasn't your fault.

 

You can't help the guys who see a girl's date as a traffic cone and not a stop sign.

NJ123 Established Member

NJ123

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I was out with this guy I've been seeing last weekend (Halloween) and I kept getting hit on. We were obviously "together" but as time wore on I had to basically physically attach myself to the guy I was WITH to make it clear I wasn't interested in other people's advances. Seriously, at one point I had him carry me around (piggyback) the outdoor area of the club so there was no misunderstanding about whom I both came and planned to leave with.

 

To be honest I sympathize with this dilemma because I was seriously taken aback by how brazen some guys can be and pretty pissed at the guys who made obvious moves because it was not only disrespectful to my date but to ME as well. It started to irritate me and it definitely started to irritate him as well. Unfortunately, later on in the night he got sort of angry at me - for reasons he, the next day, couldn't even fully articulate - as if the attention was somehow my fault.

 

I don't think your guy will think you're a terrible girl though. After some time to think on it, he'll either come to be flattered by the fact that you were getting so much attention - while secure HE has your attentions - or he'll at least come to realize it really wasn't your fault.

 

You can't help the guys who see a girl's date as a traffic cone and not a stop sign.

 

I don't understand though. Why do couples even go to clubs? Seems a lot of the time there's going to be a problem. Even worse is when I hear about them going without their bf/gf. That's a huge red flag to me since it's almost like they want to act like a single person.

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Jatan Member

Jatan

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Thanks Lernaean. I did. We were frantically kissing n hugging. This stupid idiot just kept coming to my side trying to molest me even while we were kissing. My boyfriend has to move me to another corner. Hai...there are some idiots in clubs! We left in the end. Just hope he is fine n will not feel that i am at fault for all these. Like going club with him cause i can really hug him without being seen in public by others. Don't want to stress him out. Hope he still love me and will still ask me out. Hope he will think i am not a bad gal afterall. Upset though. Uk gal.

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Jatan Member

Jatan

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I was out with this guy I've been seeing last weekend (Halloween) and I kept getting hit on. We were obviously "together" but as time wore on I had to basically physically attach myself to the guy I was WITH to make it clear I wasn't interested in other people's advances. Seriously, at one point I had him carry me around (piggyback) the outdoor area of the club so there was no misunderstanding about whom I both came and planned to leave with.

 

To be honest I sympathize with this dilemma because I was seriously taken aback by how brazen some guys can be and pretty pissed at the guys who made obvious moves because it was not only disrespectful to my date but to ME as well. It started to irritate me and it definitely started to irritate him as well. Unfortunately, later on in the night he got sort of angry at me - for reasons he, the next day, couldn't even fully articulate - as if the attention was somehow my fault.

 

I don't think your guy will think you're a terrible girl though. After some time to think on it, he'll either come to be flattered by the fact that you were getting so much attention - while secure HE has your attentions - or he'll at least come to realize it really wasn't your fault.

 

You can't help the guys who see a girl's date as a traffic cone and not a stop sign.

 

Thanks! We did. We were frantically kissing n hugging. This one idiot guy keep coming to molest me from the side. That is such an idiot. My bf has to move me to another corner to protect me. I hope he is not angry after that night and will still ask me out. We have been together only for a few mths. I am upset though. Hope he will still ask me out. Do you think he will get offended?

Upset UK gal.

IronZ Established Member

IronZ

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I don't understand though. Why do couples even go to clubs? Seems a lot of the time there's going to be a problem. Even worse is when I hear about them going without their bf/gf. That's a huge red flag to me since it's almost like they want to act like a single person.

 

This x100. I've been to clubs before where I see people who are clearly couples and I always scratch my head wondering what's up. The club scene is for singles. There's going to be that single guy on the prowl mentality there and a couple really has no place being there.

 

And I don't understand why people in a relationship would go alone either. That really is a red flag. If I had a gf who enjoyed the club scene it would drive me crazy wondering what she's up to. I know what goes down in those places.

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NJ123 Established Member

NJ123

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This x100. I've been to clubs before where I see people who are clearly couples and I always scratch my head wondering what's up. The club scene is for singles. There's going to be that single guy on the prowl mentality there and a couple really has no place being there.

 

And I don't understand why people in a relationship would go alone either. That really is a red flag. If I had a gf who enjoyed the club scene it would drive me crazy wondering what she's up to. I know what goes down in those places.

 

I personally wouldn't date someone who was into the club scene. I wouldn't click with them at all, especially if they'd want to go all the time & even without me at times. It would be way too much drama. I'd rather be with a woman who'd rather have drinks with me at a restaurant or something, instead of getting drunk at some club filled with horny 20 something year old guys looking for a quick lay.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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No sane mature person will get mad at their SO/date over the behavior of another person, especially a random stranger.

 

That person will rightfully become upset if their SO/date is doing something to attract the stranger.

 

If you are going to go to clubs with your SO, learn how to give off "unavailable -- look but don't touch" vibes to everyone else.

 

I find it very hard to believe that you are completely innocent in all of this. Random men do not continue to hit on or to use your word "molest" women who are actively & enthusiastically kissing another man.

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Jatan Member

Jatan

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No sane mature person will get mad at their SO/date over the behavior of another person, especially a random stranger.

 

That person will rightfully become upset if their SO/date is doing something to attract the stranger.

 

If you are going to go to clubs with your SO, learn how to give off "unavailable -- look but don't touch" vibes to everyone else.

 

I find it very hard to believe that you are completely innocent in all of this. Random men do not continue to hit on or to use your word "molest" women who are actively & enthusiastically kissing another man.

 

That was precisely what turn me off. Got super angry after knowing it when i was less drunk. Anyway, my SO is asking me out again to a great dinner at a restaurant nearby. I guess i am happy again. Thanks everyone!

 

Uk gal

SawtoothMars Established Member

SawtoothMars

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That was precisely what turn me off. Got super angry after knowing it when i was less drunk. Anyway, my SO is asking me out again to a great dinner at a restaurant nearby. I guess i am happy again. Thanks everyone!

Uk gal

 

I would say you handled it well. This kind of attention should not make you look poorly.

 

However, over time this does become very annoying. I dated a woman who got hit on a lot. I was cool with it at first, but eventually it started to drive me nuts.

 

Example, we wend skiing and she quit about 30 minutes before me and got a seat at the bar. I show up and she is trying to fend off this guy sitting next to her buying her drinks. I'm just thinking... "F*ck... again, I'm so tired of this". It just becomes this semi-needy crap where you always have to worry and pay attention to her with other dudes.

 

Also... I've dated way prettier girls who didn't have this issue. I don't really get what causes it.

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Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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Also... I've dated way prettier girls who didn't have this issue. I don't really get what causes it.

Body language, showing vulnerability, etc.

 

This is why younger women get hit on more, not necessarily because they are always prettier but because women from their late 20s onwards learn to handle themselves more and how to avoid hassle in the first place. As the OP said, she got scared. A lot of men - especially those that don't care about the presence of another man - will precisely go for women that come across less self-assured and more submissive. Those men are more predatory than your average guy. Good guys don't tend to rock up to women that are clearly with someone else, regardless her body language.

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