tamarind Posted March 15, 2005 Posted March 15, 2005 I'm completely confused. M and I are close friends for a few years already and I always felt like he treated me more special than other close friends. We're always teasing each other and all along I thought of him as a buddy. Few weeks ago, he became extra caring and suddenly he stopped. He was cold and spent time with another girl (J), who has a boyfriend and also a close friend of mine. Then suddenly, I realized I love him and wanted to be with him and I wondered why he changed his attitude towards me. I got jealous because he started spending time with J. I asked him why he acted strange and he told me he just had a headache!? We talked and he said he's afraid that if we spend more time together, he'd fall in love with me. Somehow I dunno why, we just left the conversation like that. Then from then on I felt as though he's playing some kind of game with me. Whenever J and I are around, he'd go to her, sit next to her and won't even sit next to me when there's an empty chair beside me (which he always did before). He'd sort of ignore me and when I ask him, he'd say I'm thinking too much and he was acting normal. It's just me. He told me that if I wanna know if he loves me, he said yes, he does. Then I was happy but the next day, he acted like he doesn't care again and went to J. He knew I'm jealous but still he does that. Then again I talked to him and then he said yes, he loves me, he wants me blabla and the next day AGAIN he acted funny. It just repeats again and again until one day I asked him AGAIN...and he said I treat you both equal, I will not fall in love with anyone of you but I like you very much, more than anyone else and I told you I love you coz I didn't want you to fall sick because of me." I was heartbroken and then I thought it's over but then later he hugged me and kissed me. Not like a friendly peck but really kissed me. I asked if he's doing that coz he didn't want to hurt me too badly and he said "No, I want it." And the next day...the same ****ty pattern repeats again...can someone tell me what's going on??? When I ignore him and go out with other guys, he'd call and ask me where I am and what I'm doing but when I go to him, or am in his presence with other people, he just treats me like a nobody. I'm so tired of this situation.
Pocky Posted March 15, 2005 Posted March 15, 2005 Is it possible he enjoys the ego boost you provide him and nothing more? I tend to depend on the way I'm treated by someone when we're with other people rather than when we're alone. If someone keeps their distance from me in a public place, they are very clearly telling me that they do not want anyone to mistake our friendship for anything other than that. I would make the assumption that he's not interested and I would check him on his split personality. You're not a toy - he needs to stop playing with you.
Author tamarind Posted March 22, 2005 Author Posted March 22, 2005 What an energy-sucking experience...after all these confusion, we went to a trip. There were 4 of us, the one whom I like, the girl whom I get suspicious of, and another guy who's in love with me but I'm not interested. So it ended up that I couldn't be with the guy I like but with the one who likes me and the other two were together. It was an awful trip. When we came back, the guy I like asked me "So you really enjoyed this trip?" I said yeah but my suspicion was confirmed. I think they're both in love and the girl has a boyfriend!! He didn't deny and he said it's my fault that he fell in love with her because I'm always jealous and saying that they're in love with each other when it's not true. So now it's true because of me...can someone tell me if this is logical? And in the end he told me that he'll not love any of us, that we're all just friends. And in the evening, he went to her room again...I think he's lying to me again and again. And when we're all together, he acted so strange and uncomfortable. As though he's upset with me, like it's all my fault and when I asked, he said no he likes me very much. The thing now is I've gotta get myself out of this. This guy is just playing around with my feelings! How do I let go and drop the whole thing???
7on Posted March 24, 2005 Posted March 24, 2005 I went to counseling for my ordeal, but I'm a college student and on-campus counseling is free for me. So I dunno if you'd be interested in looking at doing something like that.
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