HeartshapedBrain Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 I'd like to hear your thoughts about this... when me and my bf met and the first past weeks after that, he use to talk to me more often through facebook or texting. he always seemed available, he'd always laugh at everything I said and keep up conversations. nowadays things are like the opposite, he takes hours to reply sometimes, and when he does, it's like he doesn't care, it's kinda cold. now it got to the point where I'm unsatisfied with it. I tried to change myself, not contact him as much, been doing that for weeks, and working on the other parts of my life. but it bothers me that I've been ill for 2 days and he didn't even care to ask how I'm feeling or say something like "get well soon". he's busy at work, but would it hurt to stop a minute to call me or text asking how's it going? it may sound little, but it just adds to everything else. he's always so kind and gentle with everyone, and he use to be like that with me, now it's like he doesn't care. still he makes lots of plans for us, he says he loves me and wants to be with me """"forever"""". I never believe that word, but I took as he likes me so much that he doesn't see himself with someone else... if he's not that into me tho, why can't he let me go? why does he say that kind of stuff? why everytime I say I want to break up he cries and wants to make me stay? is there a possibility he's acting like a jerk 'cause he thinks it's better that way? or is he really not that into me? so many doubts I have, yet I'm sick and tired of his games... what to do? thinking 'bout breaking up tomorrow, that's when I'll see him... regardless we'll have a big talk tomorrow, he doesnt know yet, dont wanna worry him since today he'll be busy at work again, but I need it off my chest, just wanted to vent and hear from u guys what u think...
Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 if he's not that into me tho, why can't he let me go? why does he say that kind of stuff? why everytime I say I want to break up he cries and wants to make me stay? is there a possibility he's acting like a jerk 'cause he thinks it's better that way? or is he really not that into me? so many doubts I have, yet I'm sick and tired of his games... It could be a lot of things. Some people are cowards and will start treating an SO poorly in an attempt to make THEM leave - so they don't look like the 'bad guy'. Other times? Pure laziness. People have this tendency to get 'comfortable' in their relationships and think it's perfectly fine to flat out stop putting in effort. They've "won" you now so keeping up a conversation? Responding to texts in a timely fashion? All that flies out the window. Obviously this is not okay but it's more common than I'd like =/. The crying when you say you want to leave? I wouldn't read too much into it. Some people like act like total a*holes for months or even years but when faced with the prospect of breaking up, reality sets in that they might lose you and they panic. This doesn't necessarily mean it's YOU they're afraid of losing, just the relationship. The comfort of being 1/2 of a pair. People who are truly afraid of losing a person try their best to rectify the situation. His behavior is unacceptable. He's blatantly showing you he DOES NOT CARE. Maybe's he's lost interest, maybe he's feels like it's okay to stop trying but either way, I think you ending things tomorrow would be the best curse of action. He's obviously not invested, you shouldn't be either. 1
Author HeartshapedBrain Posted November 8, 2014 Author Posted November 8, 2014 yeah thats what I think too... we've been together for 3 months only yet he's already putting so little effort for the relationship to grow I'm his first and there are times he acts like that, like he doesnt care. once he did something bad and I told him how it hurted me, he was like "i'm sorry, it's not going to happen again. I love you, please forgive me". I forgave him and then he was like "thanks for teaching me how to be a good boyfriend". and then he never did it again. Idk if its lack of experience that is playing its roles in our relationship too or w/e. not making me feel happy tho...
KatZee Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 He's lazy and inexperienced. You're not doing him any favors by being passive aggressive. He literally has no clue how to be a boyfriend. Since you're not happy, you need to be blunt, speak up, state your needs, and communicate. You mention how he's not making the relationship grow... neither are you since you're not communicating. That WILL be the downfall of this. 2
newmoon Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 you both sound young and inexperienced. it sounds like he just needs boyfriend training, and he'll only get that if you speak up. most guys don't call to ask how you are when sick unless they have experience with women. doing that sort of thing - acts of kindness - come from many dating experiences. it just sounds like he doesn't have that much.
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