Boyfriend abruptly broke up with me out of fear of committment

[honeycomb2]

Now that's powerful.

[KatZee]

It's called Future Faking. Horrible to do to someone, but it's more common than you think.

 

Yup this.

 

In my case, my ex couldn't be alone. He couldn't handle it. He also couldn't commit to me the way I wanted. So what he did was slick.

 

Say enough to keep me hanging on, drop a few crumbs to prevent me from leaving. This is, until he had found someone else and was able to drop me real fast.

[honeycomb2]

Wow. I have the sneaking suspicion that my ex will try to do the same. You see he loves to be around me. So much so that he complains about being around other people that they don't give him what he "needs". But I'm not taking crumbs. I'm no rat.

[BeautyPrincess]

I asked my ex the same thing, why have conversations about the future; talk about mortgages and getting a job etc if it scares him? His reply that he thought by bringing it up he thought it might change how scared he is? Colette and utter bull I think. If it scared u THAT much, in my opinion u wouldn't bring it up. But who knows!

I have been here before with my ex. Pretty much the reasons he gave for the break up this time were the real reasons behind the first breakup (which I had explained to me when we got back together). This breakup I had floods of tears from him, telling me he still loved me etc etc and in the weeks afterwards I got messages telling me how hard he was finding it, how much he missed me and thought about me all the time. Well if u feel like that, why break up?! Arghhhhhhh.

I mean it's easy to get annoyed with them but I wonder, if they are genuinely scared of commitment, how does it make them feel?! Are they anxious or constantly worrying in a relationship all the time, I don't know! Are their feelings literally so bad that they risk losing someone that they love for? Or is it all just a huge excuse?!

I don't know about u but I think the bit that hurts most is that my ex bought up most of the future talk first, all his idea and then at the point where I can reeeeeally imagine myself married to him and with kids etc, he pulls the rug from underneath me. That's what sucks the most I think!

[honeycomb2]

Hi Beautyprincess. It does hurt. Especially since I'm the type of person that really doesn't say things that I don't mean. It's surprising to hear that my ex could have been practicing the opposite. But we are here living in what is clear now. Be objective as you can. Use this time to elevate yourself.