What have you learned from dating?

[X14Halo]

As a 29 year old male, I have only just begun to get into dating in the past year. After each new girl I have dated, I have learned a TON about what I am looking for in a relationship, and how to talk to and treat women. What important things have you learned?

[ScienceGal]

Off the cuff, here are 10!

 

1. Write down the things you cannot compromise, and then don't compromise them.

2. Listen to your gut. If something seems off, it likely is.

3. Don't be afraid to be forward and honest about who you are and what you are looking for in a relationship.

4. Do not date if you are still grieving your last relationship.

5. Do not date someone who is involved with someone else or not over their last relationship.

6. Have your own life, finding a partner should not be your only goal

7. Be happy, a partner will not provide long-term happiness if you are not happy with yourself.

8. Do not date someone who is rude to waiters or other service workers.

9. Do not date someone who speaks frequently, or negatively, about past partners.

10. Sometimes it's easier to figure out what you want by identifying what you don't want.

[Allumere]

1. Trust no one

2. People do not understand what "I love you" really means.

3. People often let attraction over-rule deal breakers in the near term.

4. Rather than having dialog, communicating issues, sharing experiences that strengthen the relationship, people insist on testing. They sit back and wait for the other person to do x, y, z (or not) and IMHO that is a really crappy thing to do. And that goes back to #2.

[preraph]

As a 29 year old male, I have only just begun to get into dating in the past year. After each new girl I have dated, I have learned a TON about what I am looking for in a relationship, and how to talk to and treat women. What important things have you learned?

 

That's a good observation. It reminds me of when I was househunting. I started out wanting certain things. I thought I knew what I wanted. But the more houses I looked at, a lot of things changed. So it took me forever to find the house, but I knew it instantly when I did find it, before even seeing all of it. Looking at so many refined my tastes. Ideally, that happens with dating as well. You come away with each adventure a little more informed.

[X14Halo]

I think the biggest thing I have learned is to talk to friends/family about everything...the good and the bad. They give so much great perspective on your situation since they know you so well, and it is so much better than any advice some random person on the internet can give you. I have been going through a rough time this week and their advice has completely changed my perspective and mood around 180 degrees.

 

More specifically, I have learned not to put women on a pedestal, keep my cards close to my chest, don't spoil her too much - let her put in some effort to get my attention, and keep enjoying hobbies/interests even if she doesn't like them herself.

[Tayken]

***The one that doesn't shows the least interest, dictates the playing field**

 

1. That there are a lot of women out there who feel entitled due to how they've been raised by Mommy

 

2. That a lot are OLD to boost self esteem and stroke ego

 

3. Never to put IT on a pedestal

 

4. Run far far away from someone that has their kids all the time, as well as pets....huge red flag about their rationale

 

5. Mind / head games is not specific to teenagers

 

6. Most don't know exactly what they want

 

7. Most are useless at coming up with ideas for dates, but instead want you to do it all

[Keenly]

If you let some in too close, you'll be very happy until you get burned. Then its hurts a lot. But if you don't date, you cant get hurt.

 

 

 

Don't try to impress the other person. Just be yourself.

 

Don't compromise yourself. Always maintain your sense of self and don't allow yourself to be pushed or manipulated.

 

Show what you feel, and of you don't get it back in spades, then that person is not right for you.

 

 

Enjoy what you have when you have it. Cuddle all day. Dance all night

It might be gone tomorrow.

[Haerts]

1. Show who you are, give them all your love and trust and they won't care about you.
   
2. Don't give a damn and they will always try their hardest to get to you.
   
3. Love will always be a game.
   

[X14Halo]

1. Show who you are, give them all your love and trust and they won't care about you.
   
2. Don't give a damn and they will always try their hardest to get to you.
   
3. Love will always be a game.
   

 

Learning this one right now that hard way. So true though.

[Mister Zen]

1. Show who you are, give them all your love and trust and they won't care about you.
   
2. Don't give a damn and they will always try their hardest to get to you.
   
3. Love will always be a game.
   

 

Indeed.

 

1. People are generally inconsistent and unreliable

2. Women will play games to figure you out rather than just ask you questions

3. All relationships are conditional

4. What you offer a woman matters more than your inherent personhood

5. Knowing where you stand with people gives you a huge advantage

6. Women don't respect men who don't lead

7. You cannot avoid drama. If you do everything right.. then you are too boring.

8. The majority of "feel good" dating advice is BS.

9. You know nothing about the person you are dating until you force them to make a decision

10. If you are too available, they lose interest. If you are too nice, they lose interest.

11. Women looking for fun behave very differently from women looking for husbands

12. If you're a man. You do best dating multiple women or at least having multiple women in your life. Women only respect men who have options.

[Tayken]

I liked this a lot.

 

1). Listen to,your gut, don't gloss over warning signs, no matter how attractive

2). Money does matter. If they are broke, be aware of that

3). Run from anyone who says, "my kids are my life, my kids come first.". You will be third in their life if you're lucky.

4) lListen to how they discuss the opposite sex. If they hate their ,other, father, aunts, brothers sisters, etc and have no close relationships with anyone of the opposite sex, warning!

5). If the guy says he's an *******....believe him.

 

 

To the stuff in bold...correct. So that means if they are just doing any job to get by and have kids (plural) with them all the time, these two items are related and can come back to cost you in so many ways.

 

Add to this the ones that say..."must like pets". You will also come 4th after the pet i.e. the cat/dog will have a place in bed before you do.

[ThaWholigan]

From the little Ive dated, I learned a lot:

 

1. Living at home shortens your dating pool a lot, as does being unemployed.

 

2. I like bad girls. Or girls who just seem like they have an edge.

 

3. Being tall isn't the advantage its made out to be.

 

4. Some women are into more freaky sh-t than I have ever imagined

 

5. Everyone has a different approach to romance and love, and finding out what their game is is just as fun for me as the game itself.

 

6. If you stand out, women notice.

[Mister Zen]

From the little Ive dated, I learned a lot:

 

1. Living at home shortens your dating pool a lot, as does being unemployed.

 

Only if you're a man.

[most_distant_galaxy]

1) My gut is my best friend

2) Men are masochists

3) Men are jerks

4) Men are adorable

5) I'm a bit of a commitment-phobe

6) Good looking men make better boyfriends

7) My family and best friend are always right about the quality of my boyfriends

[SycamoreCircle]

-Women who are into you are cool, honest, mature, fun, emotionally balanced and mature.

-Women who aren't into you are inconsistent, lying, manipulative, cheating, and f#@$ing bat**** crazy.

Edited November 9, 2014 by SycamoreCircle

[me85]

That it's for the birds … and not for me anymore … not for a few more years anyway.

[Mister Zen]

-Women who are into you are cool, honest, mature, fun, emotionally balanced and mature.

-Women who aren't into you are inconsistent, lying, manipulative, cheating, and f#@$ing bat**** crazy.

 

A shorter way to say it is: Manipulative period.

 

If a woman's morals depend on her being into you then what does that say?

[Tayken]

-Women who are into you are cool, honest, mature, fun, emotionally balanced and mature.

-Women who aren't into you are inconsistent, lying, manipulative, cheating, and f#@$ing bat**** crazy.

 

Now when you put it like that

[Imported]

There are time limits. A window of opportunity that is wide open one day, may be slammed shut the next.

 

Your inaction because of uncertainties can be a slap in the face for some women.

[fortyninethousand322]

What I've learned: women do not like me...