DirtyHairy Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 Hey, Ex left me 2.5-3 months ago and I haven't being looking for anyone to date (I do like this girl that I'm friends with but that's not important to this thread lol). Anyways saw her car around or someones who's looks the same and it prompted me to check her Facebook and lo and behold she's been dating this other guy not sure for how long but I don't assume for very long. I actually am not upset about it at all which really surprised me. I am wondering why I can't seem to date someone after a breakup (after the feeling are gone of course). This has happened after my last 2 relationships ended the ex girlfriend seems to get dates really easy, which kind of bothers me because hell I want to date someone new! Anyways just wanted to see how other people react when their ex starts seeing someone new while your still single? Make you mad, sad or glad? (Yes I went for the rhyme) how do you deal with those feelings? I'm not upset about it but just makes me feel a little bit down that I can't get a date Is it odd that a I don't date very much after break ups (or that much at all really) even though I want to meet someone? Random thought late at night sorry for that!
ScienceGal Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 Most times it did not affect me because I had moved on. Once though, it signified closure for me because I finally accepted that they had moved on. I let go of the fairy tale that he was ever coming back. It took me a while longer to move on. It's not odd that you don't date right away; in fact, that's a much better option than rebounding. You need time to process and heal. As far as wishing you could date because she is dating, that's just your ego. You want to feel better, but feel somewhat inadequate because she got there first (at least it would appear so). Hold out until you feel you are ready, it'll be worth it.
NopeNah Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 My ex's don't date.. I'm their past, present and future! Realistically.. It just depends on where I'm at in the feelings process. Most recent ex.. Would kind of suck, I guess? Honestly I can't say and I have no urge to know when. Out of my control.
AaronSG Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 For myself, through out this breakup journey I've been on for little over 3 months now, I had to come to grips that at some point my ex-faince was going to see other guy's again, it was just a matter of time. So through out the months I had gone about trying to make myself mentally ready for the day that I'd ever hear that she was with someone else. The biggest tool in my arsenal in regards to readying myself, was the fact that as time went by, I began to care less and less. So perhaps coping with the fact that my ex will see other guys didn't come by anything I thought I was trying to mastermind, nope, time took care of that for me. Now a day's, I'm almost to the point where I can honestly say "I could care less"! But I am glad though that some recent information that has come my way, didn't land in my lap say a month or two ago, for I might have blown a head gasket. But I heard recently from an official source close to my ex-faince, that she didn't waste anytime targeting her next love interest. Just a mire three weeks out from breaking off an almost 2 year relationship and marriage engagement with me, and she's already preparing herself to land in another mans lap. Again, if I would have heard this a while back, I couldn't tell you what I might have done, it's lucky for her she lives 2000 miles away from me, because if she would have lived across town, and I heard this back then, boy oh boy, it would have been a verbal 4th of July. Now that I know this information and I know it's true, it really doesn't bother me. I know the guy that she landed three weeks after leaving me. This guy is a member of an on-line video gaming group that I once was a member of. For my ex-faince this will now be the 5th male member that she goes into romantic relations with. There were 3 before me, she then got all she could out of me, and now has moved on to another member. In the end, now, I'm not angry about this at all, I now rather find it pretty pathetic that my ex-fiance has to use a video gaming group as some sort of personal hunting grounds for men. But I do wish the new love birds all the luck in the world, he's going to need it! As far as you not dating after your situation, don't worry about it to much, all in good time, when it's meant to be you'll find yourself with another woman!
Author DirtyHairy Posted November 8, 2014 Author Posted November 8, 2014 It's not odd that you don't date right away; in fact, that's a much better option than rebounding. You need time to process and heal. As far as wishing you could date because she is dating, that's just your ego. You want to feel better, but feel somewhat inadequate because she got there first (at least it would appear so). Hold out until you feel you are ready, it'll be worth it. Thanks for this, I feel what you said makes a lot of sense. I don't want a rebound relationship but at this point it wouldn't be since my feeling are gone for my ex. But I do feel a bit inadequate or just my ego saying that I'm not as good as I thought since I can't date right away or I can't even find someone to date. Maybe I think starting as friends is the way to go now because doing it the old fashioned way doesn't seem to work for me. I'm doing awesome tho and havent been this good in a long time so maybe I shouldn't want to date and ruin what I have....I geuss its not a competition tho who dates people first...little confused at this time
Woggle Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 If she got another man when she gets out of prison then condolences to him. 1
Bella2 Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 My ex had a new girlfriend 3 weeks after the BU. Yep, that sucked.
tikay00 Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 Mine is long distance, and I'm not trying to hear about her and a new man ever. I'm moving well on, before I even get a hint of that happening. If I saw a pic of her and a man right now, I'd probably go back to square 1 x100000000. Out of sight, out of mind.
lakerman34 Posted November 9, 2014 Posted November 9, 2014 Not the worst thing in the world EXCEPT when you see them out together too soon after your breakup. Also, my ex lives next door to me in a duplex. I know she's dating around, and there is at least one guy that she's pretty interested in. It sucks. I hope I never have to meet the guy, and I know that when she goes out, it's to see him. You have to keep EVERYTHING in perspective. Your ex won't get to what you had with her/him too fast, and her/his moving on is what s/he is supposed to do. If they rub it in your face, they are just awful people and you should feel better about the breakup. Move on. Date at your own pace. Who starts dating first is irrelevant. Not a race. You'll meet someone that will make you wonder why you spent the time on this one. S/he'll blow the ex out the water. It'll happen. Patience is a virtue. 1
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