Chatmonkey Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 Obviously, I never went in there Whhyy not
lolablue17 Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 It has nothing to do with BM - Wrong or right! In a relationship people should try to avoid doing things that make their loved ones to feel insecure. That what bothered me with her behavior. But now when you say she canceled her trip, because she doesn't want to lose you, I'd say maybe you have a problem with communication between you two. Maybe you just needed to tell her that it makes you insecure, instead of being so formal and educating her with the "BM is inappropriate" view. I'd say - There isn't any problem with going to BM and sleeping in the same tent with a married man - As long as your BF is OK with it. That is why people here didn't understand you and responded as they did. You were trying to set a general rule about going to BM, instead of talking about your feelings. 3
Trimmer Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 (edited) I would also add that there is a difference between going, and going with a male "friend". I get the impression that those who were critical of me do not really get what Burning Man is all about. I support BM 100%. But I can tell you that I got that sort of crap out of my system a long time ago. I thought she did too. Those sorts of events and desires are not conducive to building trust. At least not for me. That is the sort of thing that perhaps you go to together. Again, some people would be perfectly fine with the SO going to BM with a member of the opposite sex to live in a tent for a week. Call me crazy if you will and judge away, but that is NOT okay with me. I told her as much and she got it immediately. She apologized and said she was not going. That is the good news. I will leave the bad for another post...perhaps. We are still together, by the way. You have an extremely confusing posting style. You call her your "ex-girlfriend" and write that you "broke up with her over this back in July." OK then, I understood that she is your ex-girlfriend, and that you broke up with her over this back in July, assuming that you were not able to resolve the issue to mutual satisfaction. Then in the post above, you say that once you conveyed your concerns, that "she got it immediately. She apologized and said she was not going." And that "We are still together, by the way." I'm sorry - I seem to be missing a few fundamental points here: did you break up with her or not? Once you conveyed your concerns over the proposed Burning Man trip to her, did she respond in a satisfactory way or not? If you did break up with her (she's your "ex-girlfriend"), then can you be more precise about why you did that? If you didn't break up with her ("We are still together, by the way") then what the heck are we discussing here? Am I the only one who is confused about the fundamental structure of this situation? Edited December 12, 2014 by Trimmer 1
evanescentworld Posted December 12, 2014 Posted December 12, 2014 You have an extremely confusing posting style.... Am I the only one who is confused about the fundamental structure of this situation? No, definitely not. What's more, I get the impression that the OP is looking for support for his own opinions and actions, and that anything to the contrary, or which differs somewhat, is 'disappointing'. But if you're going to look for general opinions, you're going to find a massive variation in views, personal standards, preferences and comments. If you seek agreement, total and implicit, anyone's best bet is to consult the reflection in the mirror... Am I the only one who finds his forum name somewhat odd, as well? Perhaps it's because I keep reading it as Patricia Sex, as opposed to Patricia's Ex (which in any case now, seems non-applicable... 2
Author patriciasex Posted January 10, 2015 Author Posted January 10, 2015 It has nothing to do with BM - Wrong or right! ...That is why people here didn't understand you and responded as they did. You were trying to set a general rule about going to BM, instead of talking about your feelings. I have obviously completely botched my communication about this. I am going to let this one be. My issue was not about BM per se. I did communicate. I was non-defensive. I was non-judgmental. I will leave it at that. Thanks to all who responded.
Author patriciasex Posted January 10, 2015 Author Posted January 10, 2015 No, definitely not. What's more, I get the impression that the OP is looking for support for his own opinions and actions, and that anything to the contrary, or which differs somewhat, is 'disappointing'. *sigh* I have never felt so off from so many people in my life. This is very odd for me this whole thing. Am I the only one who finds his forum name somewhat odd, as well? Perhaps it's because I keep reading it as Patricia Sex, as opposed to Patricia's Ex (which in any case now, seems non-applicable... It was meant to be Patricia's Ex - but as soon as I typed it all out, it sort of worked both ways. So I kept it.
Author patriciasex Posted January 10, 2015 Author Posted January 10, 2015 I just ended a relationship with a woman with whom I was deeply in love. A few months ago, she informed me that she was invited to go to Burning Man with a male friend of hers. She said he was married and that he was going to photograph it (she is a photographer). What do you think of this? I should have titled this as "Girlfriend say she is going to BM" The "Ex" part was confusing. My bad. I just caught this.
Priv Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 (edited) Most drug fueled sexually debauched festival on the planet? What is this thing called Burning Man? And how do I get there? I am here now: https://www.google.nl/maps/place/Onze+Lieve+Vrouwetoren/@52.1551412,5.3873383,20z/data=!4m2!3m1!1s0x0:0x5ed5a8f084c334be Please draw me a map to this magic desert. Than my quest for peace and love and understanding can finally begin... Edited January 10, 2015 by Priv
Rejected Rosebud Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 I should have titled this as "Girlfriend say she is going to BM" The "Ex" part was confusing. My bad. I just caught this. Is she your girlfriend now or not? Did you break up because of the burning man thing? In your other thread you're talking about your girlfriend, is this the same person? Confused!!:confused:
Gatema Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 Most drug fueled sexually debauched festival on the planet? What is this thing called Burning Man? And how do I get there? I am here now: https://www.google.nl/maps/place/Onze+Lieve+Vrouwetoren/@52.1551412,5.3873383,20z/data=!4m2!3m1!1s0x0:0x5ed5a8f084c334be Please draw me a map to this magic desert. Than my quest for peace and love and understanding can finally begin... True that. Burning Man is not for the timid, or non-adventurous minded person, by any stretch of the imagination.
Trimmer Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 (edited) I just ended a relationship with a woman with whom I was deeply in love. A few months ago, she informed me that she was invited to go to Burning Man with a male friend of hers. She said he was married and that he was going to photograph it (she is a photographer). What do you think of this? I should have titled this as "Girlfriend say she is going to BM" The "Ex" part was confusing. My bad. I just caught this. That still doesn't clarify your current status, as it wasn't just your use of "ex" that was contradictory. In your original post, you also said "I just ended a relationship with a woman with whom I was deeply in love." That seems pretty conclusive and not easily subject to misinterpretation, yet it's not consistent with this later post: I told her as much and she got it immediately. She apologized and said she was not going. That is the good news. I will leave the bad for another post...perhaps. We are still together, by the way. So the best I can piece it together, you had a situation that was uncomfortable for you; the two of you talked about it and she "got it immediately", and modified her plans to accommodate your concerns. (Either that, or you broke up with her over this back in July - not quite sure how those two scenarios square with each other.) So you either did or didn't break up with her at some difficult to pin-down time - either back in July, or right when you posted your original question ("I just ended a relationship...") - however, at the moment you state that you are still together, and you consider that good news. Your original question was: "what do you think of this?" My answer is: If you communicated about a situation and came to a satisfactory meeting of the minds, and you are still together and think that is a good thing, then I think it's a good thing, too. Beyond that, what I think is that I'm still confused. Edited January 10, 2015 by Trimmer
rester Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 That still doesn't clarify your current status, as it wasn't just your use of "ex" that was contradictory. In your original post, you also said "I just ended a relationship with a woman with whom I was deeply in love." That seems pretty conclusive and not easily subject to misinterpretation, yet it's not consistent with this later post: So the best I can piece it together, you had a situation that was uncomfortable for you; the two of you talked about it and she "got it immediately", and modified her plans to accommodate your concerns. (Either that, or you broke up with her over this back in July - not quite sure how those two scenarios square with each other.) So you either did or didn't break up with her at some difficult to pin-down time - either back in July, or right when you posted your original question ("I just ended a relationship...") - however, at the moment you state that you are still together, and you consider that good news. Your original question was: "what do you think of this?" My answer is: If you communicated about a situation and came to a satisfactory meeting of the minds, and you are still together and think that is a good thing, then I think it's a good thing, too. Beyond that, what I think is that I'm still confused. I wish this OP would come back and clear things up. It sounds like this incident happened last summer. It's strange to be writing about a festival that takes place in August without explaining when this "incident" happened. In one sentence, they are still together, in another she is his ex...very confusing.
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