I can't cope anymore

[HeatOfTheMoment]

Okay so the past couple months has been complete crap for me. Went from losing my girlfriend, to losing my job, to almost about to lose my car, and losing my relationship with my mother. I'll try to be as short as possible.

 

My girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me 4 months ago. She told me "I had the mind of a little boy". I was gonna be "40 years old living with my parents". "I'm irresponsible, unsupportive, and immature." Honestly, to me this is all bull. I worked my butt off everyday and never depended on anyone. Ever since I was 16 (20 now) I always worked and supported myself. I've owned 5 cars so far and I work for them. Each year I try to upgrade my car. This year I decided to finally finance a car and build my credit. I was working a full time job overnight making $15 an hour. She found a part time minimum wage job and I kept telling her not to take it and focus on your school. I told her I'm happy supporting her as long as she goes to school. I didn't want her effing up her college work like I did. She told me I was unsupportive because I don't support her decisions. I was irresponsible for financing another car when I already have one. I'm immature because I like to tease her a lot. I bought her a dog for her birthday and we had to give him to a rescue a month later due to his health issues that we could no longer afford. We were looking at thousands of dollars. She broke up with me after the dog. She was very attached to him and I couldn't afford the vet anymore.

 

When we broke up, I was crying, depressed, couldn't go a day without thinking of her. I would go to work and my job was so slow paced and boring, it would cause me to think of her and caused me to leave work early. I would text her to try to work things out somehow and she would tell me she lost feelings and I'm not giving her space. I notice now it was a mistake but at the moment I just wanted to keep talking to her. Every night before I would go to bed, everything would just hit me. Losing my grandpa, losing my girlfriend, dropping out of school, going broke because it was hard going to work depressed. I was getting drunk or high everynight. 4 weeks after we broke up, she told me theres a chance we can get back together If I get myself back on track. I was already on track but fell off when we broke up. That same week she met some new guy. I noticed how shes with him every single night. When I would see her she would keep mentioning him and I got aggravated. She went down to the beach at night with him 2 weeks after meeting him. I noticed how this guy was taking over her life. He's 3 years older than I am, made less money than I did, and still lives with his parents. She had no time for anyone else. She lost all her old friends hanging out with the new guy and his group. A week before going down the shore, she fought with her mom and was kicked out the house. She called me crying and I ditched my friends to go get her. I was hurt and angry at her, but I still cared for her. She came down with all her clothes and lived in my house for a few days. We made out, she was in my bed with my boxers, but she wouldn't have sex. Because I left to work every night, she didn't hang out. She didn't want her friends knowing she lives with me.

 

She made up with her mom and went back home. And ever since then, I didn't hear much from her. I saw her out with him and his group of friends. I was standing there with my friends and she completely walks past me. That really ignited the fire. I walked to her and said "Thanks for acting like I'm not standing there." She replied "Oh, I thought you were at work, I didnt see you." But I knew that was BS and she admitted it was a couple hours later. She was afraid I'd cause a scene. By that she means I'm a very hot tempered guy. I don't like keeping s*** in. The day she made up with her mom, she went to her house and still left her stuff at mine. I logged on her snapchat and noticed she was flirting with her ex-boyfriend. She told me it was "harmless flirting". I picked her up, confronted her, made her pack her stuff and dropped her back home. I was furious. The next day I notice her deleting our pics on social media sites. I said it was whatever. But I notice her in her ex's car. Like I said, I'm a little hot tempered and I hate that about myself. I felt like she broke up with me for this guy. So I followed them with my car and tried to fight the kid. Big mistake, I know. (This was before she met this new guy) I know I don't have the right to go off on her if she isn't mine anymore, but I noticed she was doing all this while we were still together.

 

I no longer see this kid. But now this new guy. After she walked passed me, we still had plans to meet up the next day. Next day came around and I was calling her from 1pm. No answer, I thought she was still asleep. I call her again at around 4 and still no answer. At 5pm, I saw her in this new guys car. In case you're wondering how do we run into each other so much, we live in a small town. But I then noticed she ditched me for him. Not only that, but on my birthday she was posting pics of them 2 at her house watching a movie. It all hurt and I messaged telling her its my birthday and I've been trying to see you and you won't give me the chance. She tells me she doesn't want to give me the wrong idea.

I told her that I can't be just friends with her so if we aren't gonna go anymore. We should just act like strangers from now on. She was upset. She kept texting and calling all day and I didn't answer. I thought thats it. At night she texted me "I'm crying, please dont do this". I usually give in when she cries. But I was drunk and high and I was just an ass. I replied "What do you want me to do? I've been crying the past few months while you ignored me." She apoligized and asked me when I was gonna drop off some of her stuff. I said I dont know. She then asked when am I free. I didn't answer. Next day I dropped off her stuff and she was being a b**** again. I was like weren't you just crying yesterday because I didn't answer you? Why are you acting like this again? She said she wasn't crying over me.

 

I mention to her we were in my bed making out not too long ago. She said we were just friends and she had no intention of getting back with me. So basically I took this girl Im in love with, into my home thinking I'm helping her and we'll get back together because she told me it was possible. I asked her why she lied to me about getting back together. She told me she didn't want me doing anything stupid to myself. I asked her if that kid was the reason for it. She said hes just a friend and I need to stop being insecure. Now the time comes where they're already posting pictures where they are all over each other. I knew she was lying to me and I knew he wasn't just a friend. Its how it all starts.

 

Basically my self-esteem is in the dump. She choose this guy over me after everything I did. I literally spoiled her every single day. Bought her a new iphone the first month we started going out and paid its bill every month. I was this close to giving her my old car. I was saving up to pay off her school before I pay off mine so she can start going. Now I just feel like she can care less. She seems like a whole new person. I felt used. After we broke up I was still supporting her. How do you cope with this? This hit me like a brick to the head. It caused me to go into very bad depression. I've had 2 suicide attempts. I lost my job because I could no longer go. I started smoking and drinking again. I can't keep a relationship with no one in my house anymore. I just can't talk to people.

Edited November 8, 2014 by HeatOfTheMoment

[jackinthebox1]

This is al caused because you are still contacting her. Thats weak and she wont come back to a depressed job less guy with nothing going on because those are some o the reasons why she left in the first place.

You HAVE to go NC and build yourself back up before she will be at all interested in you again. Take her off your socials and do not call or text

[labayer]

Why would you even want her back? She treated you like crap, behaved disrespectfully towards you, told you bull**** like 'you'll still live at your parents when you're 40'. Who is she to say that? You're twenty- Many, many people in that age still live at their parents place. You wanted to support her and she just walked all over you. And then she hooked up with another guy. Stop rationalizing things, saying 'he has less money than me bla bla'. She does not deserve you. Stop contacting her. No emails, not texts, no Whatsapp, no social media stalking. Believe me, you'll feel better soon. We've all gone through this.

 

PS: Suicide attempts are not a thing to joke about. If that is true, please get therapy NOW.

[NopeNah]

Sucks...but I'm curious why you need to buy a new car every year? You're basically spending your entire check on payment/insurance..Assuring her that you're going to be in your parents house for at least 4 more years. Is it my business, no..hers...maybe? You definitely need to go no contact and get your head in order.

[HeatOfTheMoment]

This is al caused because you are still contacting her. Thats weak and she wont come back to a depressed job less guy with nothing going on because those are some o the reasons why she left in the first place.

You HAVE to go NC and build yourself back up before she will be at all interested in you again. Take her off your socials and do not call or text

 

That isn't one of the reasons she left. I had a job. I was supporting her. Bought her every little thing she wanted. I'm still confused as to why she left me. All I know is we were gonna work things out until this guy came. When she told me to get back on track. I was able to get my old job back and I even found another full time job. I was willing to work 2 full time jobs. I was going to work towards paying off my school so I can go back and get us a place.

 

Why would you even want her back? She treated you like crap, behaved disrespectfully towards you, told you bull**** like 'you'll still live at your parents when you're 40'. Who is she to say that? You're twenty- Many, many people in that age still live at their parents place. You wanted to support her and she just walked all over you. And then she hooked up with another guy. Stop rationalizing things, saying 'he has less money than me bla bla'. She does not deserve you. Stop contacting her. No emails, not texts, no Whatsapp, no social media stalking. Believe me, you'll feel better soon. We've all gone through this.

 

PS: Suicide attempts are not a thing to joke about. If that is true, please get therapy NOW.

 

I still have feelings for her and I love this girl with my all. Which is why I want her back. I'm not saying he has less money because I'm trying to be bigger than him. I never view things like that. But I'm just showing the point in how I'm gonna be living with my parents but this guy is much older than we are and he still is. And the suicidal attempts were not a joke. My family knows about the first attempt. No one knows about my second.

 

Sucks...but I'm curious why you need to buy a new car every year? You're basically spending your entire check on payment/insurance..Assuring her that you're going to be in your parents house for at least 4 more years. Is it my business, no..hers...maybe? You definitely need to go no contact and get your head in order.

 

Cars is like a hobby to me. I love them. I like working on cars. I enjoy everything about it. Despite me spending $800 a month on payments. I was making $2500 a month.

[tobrieornottobrie]

I'm so sorry that you are hurting right now. That's such a difficult situation, have you considered maybe trying to find a counselor or therapist to talk to about this? Maybe having someone objective to talk to would really be helpful. I hope it gets better for you, best of luck!

~ the brie's cheese knees ~