Darren2013 Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 I don't know if I am misinterpreting things wrongly or has dating really changed in the last 8-10 years? Do you think people are more or less inclined to play games and follow dating rules such as waiting 3 days to call or other rules about playing hard to get to not appear too excited? It seems like even on this loveshack board the nature of the advice has changed compared to 2006. I used to read this board back in 2005 and 2006 and there were more threads posted that contained dating guides and rules about being a challenge and playing hard to get in order to raise interest level, etc. There were more Doc Love followers on this board in 2006 than today. What the hell happened? I have read some of Doc Love's columns and listened to his radio show since 2006 and he is a real big believer in the concept of men being a challenge and taking things super slow in dating and wait for the woman to initiate touching and sex, keeping phone conversations and dates short. I have implemented some of those principles since 2010. Waiting 5-9 days to call after getting her phone number, not asking her to get married but continuing to date her and wait for her to ask me to get engaged, etc. So if there has been a change in the way people approach dating then what is the reason for it?
NJ123 Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 I don't know if I am misinterpreting things wrongly or has dating really changed in the last 8-10 years? Do you think people are more or less inclined to play games and follow dating rules such as waiting 3 days to call or other rules about playing hard to get to not appear too excited? It seems like even on this loveshack board the nature of the advice has changed compared to 2006. I used to read this board back in 2005 and 2006 and there were more threads posted that contained dating guides and rules about being a challenge and playing hard to get in order to raise interest level, etc. There were more Doc Love followers on this board in 2006 than today. What the hell happened? I have read some of Doc Love's columns and listened to his radio show since 2006 and he is a real big believer in the concept of men being a challenge and taking things super slow in dating and wait for the woman to initiate touching and sex, keeping phone conversations and dates short. I have implemented some of those principles since 2010. Waiting 5-9 days to call after getting her phone number, not asking her to get married but continuing to date her and wait for her to ask me to get engaged, etc. So if there has been a change in the way people approach dating then what is the reason for it? Two words - social media.
cdt76 Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 It's a huge game. And no one fixes their emotional damage prior to seaking out a new relationship. It's a mess. 1
BlueIris Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 And economic upheaval. And change in men’s and women’s educational levels and income.
OwMyEyeball Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 I've said this before on another thread: We now live in an age of disposable people. Many people, especially the younger generations, are conditioned (willfully or not) to crave novelty. Add to that the means by which we can now connect with literally millions of people at the click of the mouse ... And a social climate that gives rational beings the impression that no institution, be it the government, education system, employers or even families pay a high respect to concepts of loyalty or continuity ... And an economic system reliant on perpetual growth, endless demand and rampant consumption ... And the rapidity and intensity in which cultural ideals, values and beliefs are colliding, competing, conflicting and colluding ... Things tend to get a bit messy 5
Jules Dash Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 Every thing you have read here thus far is true. Your dates are as disposable as diapers, everyone on dating sites are not appropriately recovering from failed relationships before seeking new ones on social media, every move in dating seems to be calculated, phone calls have been replaced with a line of text here and there - there is a lot of disconnect. Total mess out there. It is a new age.
OwMyEyeball Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 12 Crazy Reasons Modern Dating is Entirely F***ed Up - You'll Never Guess #9! 1
J21 Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 Everything changes in 10 years. Dating is just one of MANY things.
MissMoneyPenny Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 It does feel like we are in a disposable society today. Internet dating feels a bit soulless. I don't know what age group you are in, I'm mid 30s, but I honestly would feel like I was someone's second choice if a guy didn't call me for 5-9 days & with the exception of Leap Year Day, I would like the man to propose to me. I personally would rather get to know a guy first before jumping into bed with him but I see instances all the time of people jumping into bed first & then sometimes a relationship follows.
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 From a perspective of a 45 year old divorcee who has been dating regularly for the past 4 years after being married for 20 years...yes...things have indeed changed...A LOT! And I'm not convinced it's for the better. 2
mysteryscape Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 Even a friend in his early 40's says there is a lot more sex going on than when he was younger. I see guys in their 20's who are doing random hookups with Tindr. Some of my young friends even did a photoshoot with an older guy I know to try to get him set up on Tindr! The female photographer said that she would take the pictures home with her to masturbate to. Women just didn't talk like that 20 years ago unless they were nuts. Some of these young guys seem horribly damaged to me. A lot of them are misogynists. The hardness and coarseness of it all kind of horrifies me. I think the social media have a lot to do with it, but that's not the whole story. I don't know what is.
Tayken Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 Women just didn't talk like that 20 years ago unless they were nuts. They did, only that was no Tinder, facebook, instagram and twitter. It might have also been on the down low as opposed to the vulgarity in some women these days. A lot of them are misogynists = what a woman calls a man with an opinion / concerns that he has to pay alimony to a person that has decided to sit on their a$$, and on top of that child support that doesn't get spent on kid(s). With regards to these men you speak of, You have to ask yourself, how would you like to be paying someone else indefinitely whilst they are shacked up with someone else, and sometimes in the house you are paying for? This might just help you understand how these men feel A lot more sex / BJ and STD...most women have no qualms now just offering it to a good looking guy they barely know on a 1st or 2nd date.
Woggle Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 Social media and online dating have made us a much more disposable society and there is a nastiness and viciousness to the battle of the sexes that seems to be getting worse. Dating and relationships in the 90s and early 2000s even were much more simpler and less drama. Going back to the 50s is a bad idea but back to the 90s seems good to me.
mysteryscape Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 A lot of them are misogynists = what a woman calls a man with an opinion / concerns that he has to pay alimony to a person that has decided to sit on their a$$, and on top of that child support that doesn't get spent on kid(s). With regards to these men you speak of, You have to ask yourself, how would you like to be paying someone else indefinitely whilst they are shacked up with someone else, and sometimes in the house you are paying for? This might just help you understand how these men feel They may be -- they are bitter at women -- but not because they are paying alimony or child support. These are young guys in their early to mid-twenties who have never been married.
Tayken Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 They may be -- they are bitter at women -- but not because they are paying alimony or child support. These are young guys in their early to mid-twenties who have never been married. Perhaps they witnessed what their dads had to go through and put up with.....see my point? Kids aren't stupid and they will remember all those earlier vindictive behaviours
787Dreamliner Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 Tell me about it,my exs were much easier to date than the current one I am after. The hard-to-get tactic of hers has made wanted to give up on a number of occasions but after reading advices from some websites, I decided to continue especially she has opened up and allowed me in her life even though it happened at a slow pace. Finally, she has agreed to meet up with me in a couple of weeks time after a few months of online chatting. Don't ask me why I took so long, it's the way it is. She doesn't want to give me her number so the only mode of communication was through messaging and trust me I would very much prefer talking to her face-to-face with her to know her better. Being a very traditional Asian girl, dating with this girl requires lots of patience. I hope it works out!
Gloria25 Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus', 'The Rules', 'He's Just Not That Into You', 'Think Like a Man (from Steve Harvey, a comedian giving dating advice...ok)'...remember those? Just like the latest workout or dieting fad, some "guru" comes up with his/her foolproof method to date and/or understand the opposite sex. Well, just like any other fad, people probably follow it till all the excitement behind it fades and/or they figure out that the "fad" is just a "fad". Look, IMO, you can't follow to the letter something someone puts out there just cuz it's the latest "thing". You really gotta see proven results and you gotta do your own research to validate their position. Now, some of these "gurus" had some good info within their stuff. Again, that goes into you doing some thinking, reading through their stuff, taking what's of value within it, and discarding the rest. If Doc Love is no longer being followed - well, I figure guys no longer have to resort to playing games now a days cuz women are literally throwing themselves at men. Women will have sex easier w/o even knowing what the guy wants with them, they will even move in and "play house" instead of waiting to get married. Or, maybe people figured out that Doc Love's theories weren't all that they were cracked up to be.
hotpotato Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 They did, only that was no Tinder, facebook, instagram and twitter. It might have also been on the down low as opposed to the vulgarity in some women these days. A lot of them are misogynists = what a woman calls a man with an opinion / concerns that he has to pay alimony to a person that has decided to sit on their a$$, and on top of that child support that doesn't get spent on kid(s). With regards to these men you speak of, You have to ask yourself, how would you like to be paying someone else indefinitely whilst they are shacked up with someone else, and sometimes in the house you are paying for? This might just help you understand how these men feel A lot more sex / BJ and STD...most women have no qualms now just offering it to a good looking guy they barely know on a 1st or 2nd date. Hell, guys dont have an issue with asking for sex on the first date. Very classless...Thats not anything new im afraid. Ive been experiencing that fir 10 years. In my day, we didnt have tinder, we had yahoo chat. Same shyt. I dont want tinder or anything like it. 2
Lady2163 Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 I don't know if I am misinterpreting things wrongly or has dating really changed in the last 8-10 years? Do you think people are more or less inclined to play games and follow dating rules such as waiting 3 days to call or other rules about playing hard to get to not appear too excited? It seems like even on this loveshack board the nature of the advice has changed compared to 2006. I used to read this board back in 2005 and 2006 and there were more threads posted that contained dating guides and rules about being a challenge and playing hard to get in order to raise interest level, etc. There were more Doc Love followers on this board in 2006 than today. What the hell happened? I have read some of Doc Love's columns and listened to his radio show since 2006 and he is a real big believer in the concept of men being a challenge and taking things super slow in dating and wait for the woman to initiate touching and sex, keeping phone conversations and dates short. I have implemented some of those principles since 2010. Waiting 5-9 days to call after getting her phone number, not asking her to get married but continuing to date her and wait for her to ask me to get engaged, etc. So if there has been a change in the way people approach dating then what is the reason for it? Absolutely dating has changed in the last ten years. It is so much harder to make a connection. It used to be you met someone through friends or relatives or at work. You had a bit of a stake in treating them well. Treat them poorly and it will come back to you. The cold shoulder at work, friends choosing sides, etc. Now, there's very little consequence if you hit it and quit it. If you're single and not on the rebound, ask for my number and then wait five to nine days, I'm going to be leery of going out with you. Quite possibly the first time you ask me out, I will have "plans" and suggest the next weekend. See? How crappy is that? You made me wait for nine days, now I will make you wait. Such a sucky way to try and start a relationship.
xxoo Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 . Marriage vows need to be changed to something less permanent if they are to be taken seriously. Till death do we part? More like...till I'm bored. Both marriage and divorce rates have dropped during the recession. People are less likely to make those big life changes in time of instability. But the people who do marry may before commited on the whole. I'm old enough to remember several flaky marriages of the 90s.
Rejected Rosebud Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 I'm pretty sure women have not contributed any more than men have to the changes in dating. Sorry guys!
Woggle Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 I am married and people still think I am a teenager at 35 sometimes. I always get carded at the liquor store or when I buy a drink. I picked well though and didn't end up in the trap a lot of other guys do. I am who I am and a woman can take or leave it. Many men make the mistake of changing for a woman who will never be happy anyway. 1
Tayken Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 (edited) Don't forget how those married guys always look like they are broke $ and how whipped they seem to beThere are guys that have to hand over their pay cheques to their spouse, and then get given an allowance. Funny enough, the female doesn't always have to do that, and a joint account turns into his account but for both of us Additionally, nothing more sad than seeing a man walking around like a puppet next to a person who obviously has them by the b4ll$, cos they know if they argue or talk back, it could lead to divorce. I am a middle 40s single dad with a professional career, with the physique of a person in their 20s. I am leaving most young men eat my dust at races Edited November 8, 2014 by Tayken 1
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