creyente7 Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 for now im doing NC for the purpose of healing myself, and clearing my head from the clouds that are fogging it up. Day by day I feel myself feeling better, no more pain, but not over my ex. I don't feel sadness as much anymore but rather more accepting that the relationship ended for a reason that couldn't be fixed while in a relationship because we both had negative image about each other. I would consider this as a cool off phase. Anyways, how long is too long to keep NC before an ex girlfriend will ease more into moving on? Second question, when doing LC how should I start it, the frequency of contact. Also, what should be my behavior or mentality while in this LC. I was needy and controlling before the relationship so I want to introduce the change through LC.
d3sigN8t3dDruNk Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 Simple. Delete their facebook/twitter/instagram/phone# and anything related to them. If they truly care about you, they will initiate contact. Removing these things will remove your temptation to send them messages. Its hard at first, it gets easier.The less you see their name, or face etc, the better you'll be at NC. By doing this, it will show you aren't being needy and controlling. If you send countless msgs/texts, you are repeating your mistakes they left you for in the first place. 2
Author creyente7 Posted November 7, 2014 Author Posted November 7, 2014 Simple. Delete their facebook/twitter/instagram/phone# and anything related to them. If they truly care about you, they will initiate contact. Removing these things will remove your temptation to send them messages. Its hard at first, it gets easier.The less you see their name, or face etc, the better you'll be at NC. By doing this, it will show you aren't being needy and controlling. If you send countless msgs/texts, you are repeating your mistakes they left you for in the first place. Not sure if you read my post but thats the reason why im going NC and then transitioning to LC, how can going LC seem needy or controlling? I just read somewherw that if you want to move on and completely heal that you should do NC. Thats why I'm planning to go NC for a while until im ready, but my question is how long it takes for a girl to completely move on after 2 years of relationship. Also, how LC works, the frequency of texts.
jphcbpa Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 If you were, as you said, needy and controlling...I would suggest NC and just work on you. Figure out why you are needy and controlling and work on changing that. You might need to see a therapist to work through this.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 The fact that you are already plotting how to go LC shows that you aren't even close to being ready to go LC. There's no time limit or window. You go NC until you stop plotting and scheming and wanting to manipulate the session, until you are settled and get to the point where contact with them isn't some epic thing. But yeah, the "controlling" part of your personality is apparently just by you starting this thread. 3
Author creyente7 Posted November 7, 2014 Author Posted November 7, 2014 The fact that you are already plotting how to go LC shows that you aren't even close to being ready to go LC. There's no time limit or window. You go NC until you stop plotting and scheming and wanting to manipulate the session, until you are settled and get to the point where contact with them isn't some epic thing. But yeah, the "controlling" part of your personality is apparently just by you starting this thread. How else would I know if I dont ask right? Knowledge is power. Im simply asking at what frequency of texting is okay while on LC.
Mi7522 Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 You should only text an ex when they are indifferent to you. That way it really doesn't matter whether you hear back from them but by the time you show indifference to them I highly doubt you will want to text them. 1
Author creyente7 Posted November 7, 2014 Author Posted November 7, 2014 You should only text an ex when they are indifferent to you. That way it really doesn't matter whether you hear back from them but by the time you show indifference to them I highly doubt you will want to text them. Sorry but define indifferent? Does that mean when she feels different towards me?
LifeGoesOnMan Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 Sorry but define indifferent? Does that mean when she feels different towards me? Indifference: noun 1. lack of interest or concern: 2. unimportance; little or no concern: in short, you've got a longggg way to go.
tikay00 Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 Sorry but define indifferent? Does that mean when she feels different towards me? You towards them. It makes it a win/win situation. If she contacts you back, big deal, just have a friendly catch up, and if she doesn't contact you back, who cares? Besides, in order to even be able to talk to her as a new person, you really do have to be indifferent.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 How else would I know if I dont ask right? Knowledge is power. Im simply asking at what frequency of texting is okay while on LC. You need to worry about going NC first. You are asking how to race a dragster on the first day of driver's ed.
Author creyente7 Posted November 8, 2014 Author Posted November 8, 2014 Alright so answer this, does LC mean only texting the person once or twice a week? If so during the time they or you initiate contact. How frequent should the message exchange be? Ever few hours? Limit to how many text that day?
BC1980 Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 Alright so answer this, does LC mean only texting the person once or twice a week? If so during the time they or you initiate contact. How frequent should the message exchange be? Ever few hours? Limit to how many text that day? There's really no answer here because the entire scenario is so manipulated. In reality, a relationship should evolve naturally, but, when you starting this kind of manipulation, it ends up a mess.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 Alright so answer this, does LC mean only texting the person once or twice a week? If so during the time they or you initiate contact. How frequent should the message exchange be? Ever few hours? Limit to how many text that day? Dude......
Recommended Posts