d3sigN8t3dDruNk Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 (edited) I live out in the country outside a small town, about 25 mins from it. There is nothing in this town either, not without driving an hr in either direction. I work from home, so I don't get out much and when I do, I almost always have my 7 year old son or doing something for him. I'm not a very social person, however, I will talk to you if you talk to me. I almost never start the conversation. That's just who I am and who I've always been. I'm not a bar hopper, or a clubbin' kind of person. I'm a year removed from being 30, I'd like to settle down and enjoy my life with someone. I've tried O-L-D and either the women I'm interested in don't reply to any of my messages, or the one's interested in me aren't what I'm looking for. I make good money, I have my own house/car and I'm a successful guy. I'm also kind of on the thick side (not fat but bigger). All of this seems to be working against me. I'm not getting discouraged by any means, but no one ever replies to anything I say to them. I'd like some opinions on how to meet women in my situation. Thanks. Edited November 7, 2014 by d3sigN8t3dDruNk
Redhead14 Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 I live out in the country outside a small town, about 25 mins from it. There is nothing in this town either, not without driving an hr in either direction. I work from home, so I don't get out much and when I do, I almost always have my 7 year old son or doing something for him. I'm not a very social person, however, I will talk to you if you talk to me. I almost never start the conversation. That's just who I am and who I've always been. I'm not a bar hopper, or a clubbin' kind of person. I'm a year removed from being 30, I'd like to settle down and enjoy my life with someone. I've tried O-L-D and either the women I'm interested in don't reply to any of my messages, or the one's interested in me aren't what I'm looking for. I make good money, I have my own house/car and I'm a successful guy. I'm also kind of on the thick side (not fat but bigger). All of this seems to be working against me. I'm not getting discouraged by any means, but no one ever replies to anything I say to them. I'd like some opinions on how to meet women in my situation. Thanks. First of all, you mentioned your weight and if this is a source of esteem for you, you need to either accept and be happy with yourself or work on reducing your weight. Secondly, join a bowling league or a golf league. Some kind of organized team or club activity. You will meet lots of people. Some you may be interested in dating, but more people that will/can be added to your stable of friends. Having another circle of friends broadens your "exposure". It also takes the focus off of finding someone. Oftentimes when you are most relaxed and not expecting it, you will find someone.
Author d3sigN8t3dDruNk Posted November 7, 2014 Author Posted November 7, 2014 My weight, is not a self-esteem issue and I am working on that as well in my spare time. But most women, specifically list they want athletic/toned etc on their profiles.
Redhead14 Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 My weight, is not a self-esteem issue. But most women, specifically list they want athletic/toned etc on their profiles. Most women have not met you. OLD does not give the opportunity for seeing "you". 2
Author d3sigN8t3dDruNk Posted November 7, 2014 Author Posted November 7, 2014 I've also went out with a few of my friends', friends... Neither amounted to much and the rest are all married lol
Author d3sigN8t3dDruNk Posted November 7, 2014 Author Posted November 7, 2014 I could do the bowling thing, cause I used to be on a league when I was in high school. However, I don't know anyone with a team or a spot I could go to. I guess I could email/call the alley and see if they have openings or something.
Redhead14 Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 I could do the bowling thing, cause I used to be on a league when I was in high school. However, I don't know anyone with a team or a spot I could go to. I guess I could email/call the alley and see if they have openings or something. Yep, that is how I got on a bowling league. I'm having a blast and there is one guy who asked me out.
carhill Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 Since you have a son, presuming he isn't home-schooled, his school can be one source of social networking, as can activities adjunct to school. Having been in a similar circumstance when younger, I ended up traveling and meeting women that way, but you have a son so that option is somewhat limited. I ended up meeting my now exW online back in the 90's in a town about sixty miles away. I tried networking in the local area through volunteering, working on town boards and with the chamber of commerce and that was fun but everyone, back then anyway, was married. I didn't try school stuff since I didn't have any kids, but did work on school-related projects through the chamber. Never did date locally and I've been here nearly 30 years now. That's just how it goes. I think that bowling league idea is a good one. Any social type thing could work. Pick something you enjoy doing. For myself, it was doing stuff with the vintage car club. Dinners, cruises, charity work, etc, etc.. Probably my most productive social 'job' was volunteering at the zoo and I'd always sign up to work the evening private parties. Met a fair amount of singles that way but no 'hits'. Driving 50 miles round trip for volunteer work got to be time-sucking and expensive. Good luck!
Author d3sigN8t3dDruNk Posted November 7, 2014 Author Posted November 7, 2014 I think the winter league has already started here.. The youth one did, I know that for a fact...I guess wouldn't hurt to ask.
Redhead14 Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 I think the winter league has already started here.. The youth one did, I know that for a fact...I guess wouldn't hurt to ask. Yes, probably true, sometimes people drop out though, so may be openings. 1
Author d3sigN8t3dDruNk Posted November 7, 2014 Author Posted November 7, 2014 Since you have a son, presuming he isn't home-schooled, his school can be one source of social networking, as can activities adjunct to school. Having been in a similar circumstance when younger, I ended up traveling and meeting women that way, but you have a son so that option is somewhat limited. I ended up meeting my now exW online back in the 90's in a town about sixty miles away. I tried networking in the local area through volunteering, working on town boards and with the chamber of commerce and that was fun but everyone, back then anyway, was married. I didn't try school stuff since I didn't have any kids, but did work on school-related projects through the chamber. Never did date locally and I've been here nearly 30 years now. That's just how it goes. I think that bowling league idea is a good one. Any social type thing could work. Pick something you enjoy doing. For myself, it was doing stuff with the vintage car club. Dinners, cruises, charity work, etc, etc.. Probably my most productive social 'job' was volunteering at the zoo and I'd always sign up to work the evening private parties. Met a fair amount of singles that way but no 'hits'. Driving 50 miles round trip for volunteer work got to be time-sucking and expensive. Good luck! Well, I met my ex-fiance on OkCupid in 2008, however she messaged me first. We split up in Feb this year. So I do believe OLD works. I'm gonna try the bowling thing b/c thats about all there is in this town, literally. I live about 50 miles from Indianapolis, so I really dont want to get involved with someone that far away b/c (even tho my car gets 38mpg), that would be expensive fast. As for the kid related stuff, all his team mates parents are married lol. I am heavily involved in all that as well, pretty much an assistant coach more or less.
O'Malley Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 Are you ok with dating a christian? Some megachurches tend to have younger people in their congregations, or parishioners might have some single relatives they can introduce you to. If you live within an hour of a larger city, locating one shouldn't be a problem. A friend of mine, who still lives where I was raised, eventually went this route - it's difficult to meet single people, especially women, in their late twenties - thirties in more rural communities, more so if you're not interested in the tavern scene and there's little to no community activities. The bowling league is a good idea as well; anything that will help you meet new people who can introduce you to their single friends and relatives.
Author d3sigN8t3dDruNk Posted November 7, 2014 Author Posted November 7, 2014 Are you ok with dating a christian? Some megachurches tend to have younger people in their congregations, or parishioners might have some single relatives they can introduce you to. If you live within an hour of a larger city, locating one shouldn't be a problem. A friend of mine, who still lives where I was raised, eventually went this route - it's difficult to meet single people, especially women, in their late twenties - thirties in more rural communities, more so if you're not interested in the tavern scene and there's little to no community activities. The bowling league is a good idea as well; anything that will help you meet new people who can introduce you to their single friends and relatives. I'd be ok with it if it was the extent of not having to change my views, etc. My view on religion, wouldn't gel with someone who went to church regularly etc. I think our personalities would clash too much cause I dont really believe in all that stuff. Too each is own and I wouldnt judge someone else, just not something I'm not interested in, in the sligtest.
d0nnivain Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 Do your close friends & family know you want a relationship? if not, tell them & make sure they know you are open to being introduced to new people. Volunteer somewhere: the fire department, the Elks, the Moose, whatever; perhaps at your son's school so you can meet other single parents; on that same plane get him involved & scouts & you become the troop leader Go to industry events related to your work or Chamber of Commerce functions Try going on a singles cruise.
Tayken Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 At activities that you enjoy i.e. hobbies/passions and no Tinder and Facebook don't count. I have met women at the library, Walmart, grocery stuff, at my races (marathons) 1
slizl Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 don't use your username on an OLD, that's my old tip
aMguilts Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 don't use your username on an OLD, that's my old tip so why are you still here mr fantastic??? lol do this dont do that?! if you're that ****ing perfect???!!!!! why aren't you out living it up?????? aM
Tayken Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 so why are you still here mr fantastic??? lol do this dont do that?! if you're that ****ing perfect???!!!!! why aren't you out living it up?????? aM What makes you think he is not? :laugh: 1
Lady2163 Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 I feel your pain, also in a small town and must remain here to be caretaker for an aging parent. It is tough. Places to meet women.... 1. A cooking class 2. Continuing education or college classes at closest place. 3. Go to chamber or call and find out if there are any singles groups 4. Don't rule out churches. I know you're not big into it, but often they do nondenominational get togethers. 5. Join a gym that has classes. Lots of classes can be draws for women. Tips and advice... Got any close female friends? Have them take you shopping and help you pic, out a couple of outfits. Yes, yes, I know you can dress yourself, but they will tell you what looks REALLY good on you. Same with cologne (in moderation) Do not say, "My son is my life. My son is my first priority.". Even if he is. What that tells single women with no kids is that they/the relationship will be third in your life. What I've found is that men and women may have to step out of their area of comfort to meet someone. All my hobbies are sort of female centric, I do lve the Boston Red Sox and never got the guts up to go to the local sports bar during the 2013 World Series.
Tayken Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 Have them take you shopping and help you pic, out a couple of outfits Oh dear...please tell me this is a joke? Another one of those ridiculous things I see whilst out and about, men/guys being dressed by the wives and gfs like little boys. I think the last time female picked out an outfit for me was when I was a pre-teen, and that was my mum.
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