Really about this girl, should I cut her off completely?

[hamzaaaa]

This girl and I were dating for a few months. She broke it off with me when she told me she was still in contact with her exes and I got upset about it. She said I was being too possessive. She started ignoring me. I kept trying to get her back but she finally told me she doesn't have the same feelings for me anymore and doesn't wish to date me. After that I backed off and stopped contacting her. When I didn't message for a week, she sent me a few messages saying she wanted to talk to me, she was missing me, wanted to tell me about her problems etc etc. She also told me that night that she stopped contacting her exes because some of the things I said about her self respect were right. After this conversation she got cold again and stopped talking to me. When I asked her to stop playing these games, she blocked me. A friend of mine spoke to her and she said she missed me and really did like me but when she got a message saying she was playing games, she got angry. And she told him she wouldn't contact me again in case it gives me false hope. 2 weeks later, she unblocked me and messaged me saying a song reminded her of me. Since then we've been talking. 3rd time she came back. But what she does now is, she starts a conversation by messaging me and when I reply, she takes a few hours to a day to message me back and says "sorry I was busy" even though she's online most of the time. Now I haven't heard from her for a week. I messaged her something but she didn't bother repying.

 

I dont know why she keeps coming back and then leaves again. Even when she told my friend she wouldn't contact me again... The reason why it's hard for me to let her go is I have strong feelings for her and she also knows that. I lost my virginity to her too. Some might think that me losing my virginity to her is why I'm emotionally attached to her but it's not the case.

 

I've given up now and haven't messaged her for a week either. Should I cut her off completely and stop replying even if she messages me? It's her birthday coming up in a couple of days and I dont know if I should wish her not.

Edited November 7, 2014 by hamzaaaa
Missed something

[Frank2thepoint]

I've given up now and haven't messaged her for a week either. Should I cut her off completely and stop replying even if she messages me?

 

I can advise you that this girl is emotionally unstable, does indeed play games, and is playing you like a finely tune fiddle. You are also aware of what she is doing to you, yet you keep going back to her, keep messaging her, keep allowing her to walk all over you. You're even thinking of messaging her on her birthday. I could further advise that you need to have some self-respect and completely block her out of your life, meaning do not contact her at all. The question concerning my advice is will you listen and employ it?

 

So I'm going to advise the opposite to indulge your masochism. You should contact her. You should keep calling her, tell her how much you love her, no matter what she does to you. You should tell her that it is okay for her to keep in touch with her exes, even maybe hook up with them too, because you will always be around as a safety net, to catch her when she feels down. You should dedicate your life to her, no matter how much she hurts you.

 

 

The reason why it's hard for me to let her go is I have strong feelings for her and she also knows that.

 

Oh this one is a gem. You choose not to let her go. You can just as easily choose to let her go.

[hamzaaaa]

I know exactly what you mean and you are absolutely right and me having been her 'yes man'. I do have self respect that's why I have decided never to contact her again. But what I dont understand is, why does she keep coming back to me after breaking things off? It's most probably not that she cant find someone else. She's a good looking girl and probably has several guys hitting on her everyday but why me?

[hamzaaaa]

I can advise you that this girl is emotionally unstable, does indeed play games, and is playing you like a finely tune fiddle. You are also aware of what she is doing to you, yet you keep going back to her, keep messaging her, keep allowing her to walk all over you. You're even thinking of messaging her on her birthday. I could further advise that you need to have some self-respect and completely block her out of your life, meaning do not contact her at all. The question concerning my advice is will you listen and employ it?

 

So I'm going to advise the opposite to indulge your masochism. You should contact her. You should keep calling her, tell her how much you love her, no matter what she does to you. You should tell her that it is okay for her to keep in touch with her exes, even maybe hook up with them too, because you will always be around as a safety net, to catch her when she feels down. You should dedicate your life to her, no matter how much she hurts you.

 

 

 

 

Oh this one is a gem. You choose not to let her go. You can just as easily choose to let her go.

I know exactly what you mean and you are absolutely right and me having been her 'yes man'. I do have self respect that's why I have decided never to contact her again. But what I dont understand is, why does she keep coming back to me after breaking things off? It's most probably not that she cant find someone else. She's a good looking girl and probably has several guys hitting on her everyday but why me?

[salparadise]

But what I dont understand is, why does she keep coming back to me after breaking things off?

 

Because manipulating your feelings, exercising the power she holds over you, seeing you give up your dignity time and time again, is amusing to her. She's one of those that needs to keep several guys in play at all times, and has little regard for any of them. The only thing she wants from you is the pleasure she derives from humiliating you.

[hamzaaaa]

Because manipulating your feelings, exercising the power she holds over you, seeing you give up your dignity time and time again, is amusing to her. She's one of those that needs to keep several guys in play at all times, and has little regard for any of them. The only thing she wants from you is the pleasure she derives from humiliating you.

So do you think that me blocking her out completely or ignoring her will affect her in any way?

[Michelle ma Belle]

First, were you exclusive or was this just a casual thing where you were hoping it would lead to being exclusive?

 

Regardless, this girl sounds like a spoiled brat who wants things HER way or no way and who isn't above yankin' your chain for her own amusement.

 

She wreaks of insecurity if you ask me. The need to be stay in contact with ex's and surround herself with men, ex's or not, is almost always a red flag.

 

And game playing is often a telltale sign of someone who is emotionally immature. She's living in a bubble that's all about HER and HER needs and HER wants and be damned with anyone else. You either play by her rules or you're blocked. Klassy :/

 

Is this really the kind of girl you want to be with? What exactly does she bring to the table for YOU apart from a warm place for you to get your rocks off? Seriously, she sounds horribly selfish but if that works for you then good luck sweetie - you're gonna need it.

 

My advice? Delete her number and stop playing into her games. There are much better girls that are worth your time and energy.

[hamzaaaa]

First, were you exclusive or was this just a casual thing where you were hoping it would lead to being exclusive?

 

Regardless, this girl sounds like a spoiled brat who wants things HER way or no way and who isn't above yankin' your chain for her own amusement.

 

She wreaks of insecurity if you ask me. The need to be stay in contact with ex's and surround herself with men, ex's or not, is almost always a red flag.

 

And game playing is often a telltale sign of someone who is emotionally immature. She's living in a bubble that's all about HER and HER needs and HER wants and be damned with anyone else. You either play by her rules or you're blocked. Klassy :/

 

Is this really the kind of girl you want to be with? What exactly does she bring to the table for YOU apart from a warm place for you to get your rocks off? Seriously, she sounds horribly selfish but if that works for you then good luck sweetie - you're gonna need it.

 

My advice? Delete her number and stop playing into her games. There are much better girls that are worth your time and energy.

It was progressing towards a relationship. She WAS the type of girl I wanted to be with but now after seeing all this, she isn't. It's not that now I want to be with her or anything. Well she did say to me a few weeks ago that she wouldnt talk to her exes again so I dont know what's happening... She says I've brought positive changes in her life. Like, I've made her realise she needs to dress better (cover arms, legs etc), appreciate small things more and be classy. I've definitely realised I deserve better but I dont know if me blocking her woulf affect her in any way?

[Michelle ma Belle]

It was progressing towards a relationship. She WAS the type of girl I wanted to be with but now after seeing all this, she isn't. It's not that now I want to be with her or anything. Well she did say to me a few weeks ago that she wouldnt talk to her exes again so I dont know what's happening... She says I've brought positive changes in her life. Like, I've made her realise she needs to dress better (cover arms, legs etc), appreciate small things more and be classy. I've definitely realised I deserve better but I dont know if me blocking her woulf affect her in any way?

 

Affect her how? What are you afraid of?

[Frank2thepoint]

So do you think that me blocking her out completely or ignoring her will affect her in any way?

 

Of course it will. She will probably panic, and try to reel you in once again with the usual manipulative words. At that point, you have to stand up for yourself and not respond to her.

[Kav]

She's doing the old 'does he need me? If so i'm not interested' thing.

The more you ignore/avoid her the more she'll want you.

[WomenWubber]

I was in the same position as you many years ago with a girl I was dating.

 

She had been ignoring my calls and messages so I figured I would do the same. She reached out to me a few times, but I never reciprocated. Then she went silent.

 

I never contacted her again, but I couldn't let go completely and didn't delete her facebook. After a year I noticed she had deleted me when I was cleaning my friend list. I was like "ah okay".

 

If you are going to cut her off, you have to be prepared to never see her again. From that point forward, it'll be just a matter of time before she becomes a distant memory.