midori Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Hi Topaze, FYI, I've merged two threads into one, and if I happen upon others that you've started on this topic, they'll also be joined with this one. We ask members to post only one thread, in one forum, on any given topic. Thanks for your cooperation. Best, midori
Author Topaze Posted March 16, 2005 Author Posted March 16, 2005 Midori: I created new threads as people kept going off on tangents and deliberately tryig to derail the discussion. It will be impossible to have a productive discussion if people continue to do this.
GirlDown Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 no one derailed anything. your old, tired arguments are just overlapping.
Donut Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 As Barby previously mentioned we are here on the shack to give advice and personal opinions on relationships in general. Which it looks like to me that people have done. Not have a huge debate on racism, or read numerous articles or read the constitution of the state of alabama.
Author Topaze Posted March 16, 2005 Author Posted March 16, 2005 I thought it was up to the thread starter to determine the purpose of a thread. I guess not. Oh well. Clearly the type of discussion I am seeking is not possible here at this site so I leave it to the regular clique. I guess people here would rather talk about rimming and similar topics than something that is meaningful and actually has an impact on society. Have fun.
blind_otter Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Originally posted by Topaze I thought it was up to the thread starter to determine the purpose of a thread. I guess not. Oh well. Clearly the type of discussion I am seeking is not possible here at this site so I leave it to the regular clique. I guess people here would rather talk about rimming and similar topics than something that is meaningful and actually has an impact on society. Have fun. In other words, if you aren't attracted to me, you're racist....if you don't agree with me, you're a STUPID racist!!! :lmao: I can say whatever I want because she has me on ignore, neener neener.
GirlDown Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Originally posted by Topaze something that is meaningful and actually has an impact on society. we were waiting for you to get to something like that, but you never did... farewell, topaze.
Author Topaze Posted March 16, 2005 Author Posted March 16, 2005 Oh I got to meaningful content that has an impact on society and backed it up with information from credible sources including universities and authors who have done their home work but people are more interested in discussing topics like rimming. Please note that note even ONE poster with an opposing POV listed a single article, link or study backing up their POV.....why do the research, when it's MUCH easeir to resort to put downs? It's a good think this site has an ignore button so that one can wade through the put downs to find the one or two meaningful comments. Moderators when you have a moment....feel free to delete. This was clearly a waste of my time.
alphamale Posted March 17, 2005 Posted March 17, 2005 Originally posted by Topaze Please note that note even ONE poster with an opposing POV listed a single article, link or study backing up their POV.....why do the research, when it's MUCH easeir to resort to put downs? but TOPAZE, I don't need to quote any studies or do any research to know what i like and what i don't and who i am attracted to and who I am not. that's like the govt spending $25 million to do a 5 yr study that concludes that eating fast food every day is bad for people.
krabnat Posted March 17, 2005 Posted March 17, 2005 At least the OP of the rimming threads listen to others. The experts you posted were arguing something completely different from what you were arguing. You twisted their words and falsely presented the links as support for your position. Post all the links you want, but reading those articles is not going to make me magically and instantaneously attracted to people I never would have been attracted to beforehand. I imagine that is the case with pretty much everyone else. In the future, I think you'll find it's easier to reason with people when you listen to their side as well. Cramming your opinion down their throats and then refusing to listen to opposing viewpoints is not only close-minded, but it's shooting yourself in the foot with regard to winning an audience over. When EVERYONE disagrees with you, what does that say about the validity of your argument? Originally posted by Topaze This was clearly a waste of my time. I think we can all agree with that.
GirlDown Posted March 17, 2005 Posted March 17, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale but TOPAZE, I don't need to quote any studies or do any research to know what i like and what i don't and who i am attracted to and who I am not. yes. me either.
Fatal Femme Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 A good thread, even though it went off on a tangent quite a bit. Yes, I would say that some people's dating preferences are definitely superficial, and I think that romance as it's constructed by pop culture is fake. Dating seems to be based on animal instincts i.e. physical attraction more so than anything else, but that comes down to the human biological makeup. However I am of the belief that such primal urges can be tamed, though most people choose not to, because it's a lot easier that way, at least in the short term/initial stages of a relationship. As for the high divorce rate these days, I think it's because people date in unrealistic settings, with too much emphasis on fantasy (romantic fantasy for women, sexual fantasy for men). They see a relationship as an escape from drudgery, salvation from everyday life. So when reality sinks in, they realize they are absolutely incompatible. A person can be absolutely charming, polite, romantic etc during a dating relationship, but this shows absolutely nothing about their true qualities. They can only wear a mask for so long, and once it falls off, then people get divorced because the fantasy stage is over. This is why a marriage based purely on sex and romance (and there are many of them) will last no more than, say 5 years. Anyway, the high divorce rate would seem to suggest that a lot of people's preferences in dating/marriage are quite superficial indeed. It's only since the 20th century that people get married based on romantic and sexual attraction, and divorce statistics suggest that it's a formula that's failing dismally.
moimeme Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 Hey FF. Have a read of my Sex on the Brain thread. I think you might find it interesting.
Author Topaze Posted March 23, 2005 Author Posted March 23, 2005 Well said Fatal Femme. IN North America we automatically rule out people based on superficial criteria from magazines and Hollywood movies that have NOTHING to do with the long term viability of a relationship. We spend dating in superficial social situations and never get to know the person at any degree of depth. Then we marry and discover...... surprise ... surprise. we have nothing in common with the person. No wonder the divorce rate is so high
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 Originally posted by Topaze We spend dating in superficial social situations and never get to know the person at any degree of depth. Then we marry and discover...... surprise ... surprise. we have nothing in common with the person. No wonder the divorce rate is so high I agree with that to a certain extent. I think the divorce rate is high for other reasons as well, but I wouldn't rule this one out.
lynnered Posted March 23, 2005 Posted March 23, 2005 i didn't read all posts , i skimmed though so forgive me if i say what may have been said!! my preference is a white male , i am a white female , i am not prejudice, i have black friends(female&male), i am not attracted to other races , if a black male only dates ,black females is he prejudiced? i don't feel this is superficial ,just my preference for a relationship to work ,my belief is you need to be attracted to that person physically, likewise i am not attracted to short men,so i don't date them , i did once ,date a short white male , who was like a best friend ,thats all and i tried &tried ,it did not work out , because i was not attracted physically to him , there are too many men out there to just settle , we all have our standards &we deserve to be with the type of person we feel is best for us .
Fatal Femme Posted March 31, 2005 Posted March 31, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme Hey FF. Have a read of my Sex on the Brain thread. I think you might find it interesting. Thanks for the link Moimeme - I find physical attraction theory quite interesting, if not very irrational at times.
april Posted April 17, 2005 Posted April 17, 2005 'Is Our Focus too Superficial?' Originally posted by Donut I don't get the point of these threads. personality goes a long way.......... THIS coming from a woman who insists on using a beautiful, Hollywood celebrity as her avatar.
GirlDown Posted April 17, 2005 Posted April 17, 2005 Originally posted by april 'Is Our Focus too Superficial?' THIS coming from a woman who insists on using a beautiful, Hollywood celebrity as her avatar. but don't forget that that hollywood celebrity is not considered beautiful by everyone. i know lots of people who think she isn't so hot, but has a great personality. once again, personal preference.
april Posted April 17, 2005 Posted April 17, 2005 Originally posted by GirlDown but don't forget that that hollywood celebrity is not considered beautiful by everyone. i know lots of people who think she isn't so hot, but has a great personality. once again, personal preference. OOOPs sorry....guess the word 'avatar' shouldn't be taken lightly in view of what happened. Girldown - your profile says you don't accept PM's...I wish you would, because I found out recently which member has alot of 'pull' around here, and is responsible for tons of deleted posts - tho this is the first time I've heard of an avatar being deleted.
GirlDown Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by april OOOPs sorry....guess the word 'avatar' shouldn't be taken lightly in view of what happened. Girldown - your profile says you don't accept PM's...I wish you would, because I found out recently which member has alot of 'pull' around here, and is responsible for tons of deleted posts - tho this is the first time I've heard of an avatar being deleted. i do accept PM's, i just say that i don't... if you send one i will get it. and don't worry, you could say avatar in front me and i won't seize...i'm not really all that bent out of shape about it, it's just annoying that people are so...pathetic, i guess. and bored.
moimeme Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Don't believe all the rumours that are PM'd to you.
GirlDown Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme Don't believe all the rumours that are PM'd to you. is there a reason i should be getting rumours pm'd to me? why? is this like a huge scandal? what's going on!!!??? this is all so preposterous that it's comical.
Donut Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 THIS coming from a woman who insists on using a beautiful, Hollywood celebrity as her avatar. I don't insist on it, I like her picture, simple as that, and as GirlDown says, she's hot (in my view) AND she has a cracking personality.......I have many avatars to use and change them every now and then. It has nothing to do with real life, get a grip.
moimeme Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 is there a reason i should be getting rumours pm'd to me? Ask April, who promised to do so.
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