Just can't move on

[Varsity2418]

Sorry if this is a long and detailed read but i just have to get this off my chest. I'm currently going through the toughest and most depressing time of my life. Me and my now ex girlfriend were together for 5 years and during that time we had a son who is now 3. Everything was absolutely perfect, I worked full time supporting all of us and we had everything we needed and it was just the happiest time of my life raising our son together. I wanted to marry this girl and we even talked about having more kids and buying a house after our lease was up. But everything just seemed to turn to **** around the beginning of this year.

 

I noticed us fighting more often and just noticed her wanting to go out more often and do more stuff with her friends then usual, I let her go and hang out of course. But I notice her being very protective of her phone during this period and she never was before so one day I just had to know why so I asked to see her phone and she just flips on me so eventually I get my hands on it and find out she messed around and possibly had sex with one of her friends that was visiting from out of town. I was absolutely devastated and she says her feelings have changed and she doesn't feel loved by me anymore she she actually breaks up with me just days later. My mind is just numb and don't know what to think I'm angry and hurt. Everything about her just changes from there on she's cold and says she doesn't have the same feelings and doesn't love me anymore. We still have to live together after this and raise a kid so I'm just depressed and just ask to work this out cause I love this women I don't want it to end no matter how hurt I am.

 

But things just get progressively worse I come to find out she sent some naughty pics to this guy even though he's out of town while I'm at work and I fall into this deep depression because this whole situation just came from no where and I was not ready, this girl just turned from loving gf to a cold hearted B. so weeks later we move into separate apartments, she got full custody of my son and I pay child support which just seems wrong since I did nothing wrong and want to work things out. So it's now been 2 months since she's been moved out with my son and I find out a couple weeks ago she's dating some other guys. Not only am I depressed and heart broken from imagining her with other men I only see my son every other weekend which has driven me into a very deep depression and now I'm just alone, confused, and just can't move on.

 

I still text her asking about us and even still wanting us to work out, and I have this very deep anger for her at the same time knowing what she did to me but I just can't let her go. Everyone says move on and just forget about her but I just can't seem to I'm constantly thinking about her and even now miss her even though she rejects me when we're together doing something.

 

Idk what's wrong with me and feel like any sane man would have moved on but I just can't seem to I'm very confused cause a side of me hates what she did and how easy it seems shes moving forward and is doing but the other side of me just can't move on and it's been a total of 5 months since she broke up with me and I'm still as hurt and depressed as ever.

Edited November 7, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[NopeNah]

Sounds like my ex wife.. That was a rough one! Focus on your sons and your own well being. Sloots gonna Sloot! (No offense ladies)

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Sorry if this is a long and detailed read but i just have to get this off my chest. I'm currently going through the toughest and most depressing time of my life. Me and my now ex girlfriend were together for 5 years and during that time we had a son who is now 3. Everything was absolutely perfect, I worked full time supporting all of us and we had everything we needed and it was just the happiest time of my life raising our son together. I wanted to merry this girl and we even talked about having more kids and buying a house after our lease was up. But everything just seemed to turn to **** around the beginning of this year. I noticed us fighting more often and just noticed her wanting to go out more often and do more stuff with her friends then usual, I let her go and hang out of course. But I notice her being very protective of her phone during this period and she never was before so one day I just had to know why so I asked to see her phone and she just flips on me so eventually I get my hands on it and find out she messed around and possibly had sex with one of her friends that was visiting from out of town. I was absolutely devastated and she says her feelings have changed and she doesn't feel loved by me anymore she she actually breaks up with me just days later. My mind is just numb and don't know what to think I'm angry and hurt. Everything about her just changes from there on she's cold and says she doesn't have the same feelings and doesn't love me anymore. We still have to live together after this and raise a kid so I'm just depressed and just ask to work this out cause I love this women I don't want it to end no matter how hurt I am. But things just get progressively worse I come to find out she sent some naughty pics to this guy even though he's out of town while I'm at work and I fall into this deep depression because this whole situation just came from no where and I was not ready, this girl just turned from loving gf to a cold hearted B. so weeks later we move into separate apartments, she got full custody of my son and I pay child support which just seems wrong since I did nothing wrong and want to work things out. So it's now been 2 months since she's been moved out with my son and I find out a couple weeks ago she's dating some other guys. Not only am I depressed and heart broken from imagining her with other men I only see my son every other weekend which has driven me into a very deep depression and now I'm just alone, confused, and just can't move on. I still text her asking about us and even still wanting us to work out, and I have this very deep anger for her at the same time knowing what she did to me but I just can't let her go. Everyone says move on and just forget about her but I just can't seem to I'm constantly thinking about her and even now miss her even though she rejects me when we're together doing something. Idk what's wrong with me and feel like any sane man would have moved on but I just can't seem to I'm very confused cause a side of me hates what she did and how easy it seems shes moving forward and is doing but the other side of me just can't move on and it's been a total of 5 months since she broke up with me and I'm still as hurt and depressed as ever.

 

Dude...its only been 5 months....of a 5 year relationship. Its going to take a lot longer than just that to fully get over it.

 

First of all, there is nothing wrong with you. Just emotional. I think many can feel your pain.

 

You need to stop texting her. That is your biggest thing right there. Unless its about your son, you do NOT text her. You do NOT stalk her. You do NOT look her up online. You need to erase everything from it.

 

I understand you still think about her, and thats normal.....but youre keeping yourself locked in this s*** because you arent coping with it. You keep yourself wrapped up in this whole thing. Stop talking to her. I'm going to guess that everytime you talk about getting back together, you look weak and needy to her. ULTIMATE turnoff right there. Her respect for you probably isnt very high.

 

Find hobbies. It sucks because you dont want to do anything, but force yourself. For me, I started coaching little kids sports. They were always so happy. I wanted to feel like that, so I started coaching. It was very fun and even for a brief couple of hours, i didnt think about her as much.

 

Its a slow process. You were with her for a pretty long time and shared a kid. I know it sucks I honestly do. You will get past this, but you are going to have to WANT to get past this. Start slow, then move your way up.

 

It gets easier.