alphamale Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Originally posted by Groovy I do believe some relgions like Muslims and Protestants should not get involved in prospects why do you say that GROOVY. I know of many very successful Islamic-Christian unions.
Groovy Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 I just think if they are deeply religious they have radical differences in their principle teachings that may make a relationship difficult. If they are willing to be liberal in their teachings it may all work out....
alphamale Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Originally posted by Groovy I just think if they are deeply religious they have radical differences in their principle teachings that may make a relationship difficult. If they are willing to be liberal in their teachings it may all work out.... I agree GROOVY but that goes with any religions. I don't think an orthodox jew marrying a right-wing religious WASP would work either. I think that interfaith marriage between jews, muslims and christians can work as long as neither party is radical. After all, all three religions believe in the same God and the old testament.
Groovy Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 That's what I am saying, you put it perfectly.....
Author KissMyTiara Posted March 18, 2005 Author Posted March 18, 2005 Thanks Girly Girl! That helped a lot. However, do you think that his family might view me differently because I am a non-Jew girl...meaning, the children are that of the mother, right? If they really wanted the children to be Jewish, it's harder in my situation than in yours, right?
Hund1976 Posted March 18, 2005 Posted March 18, 2005 None of us on this site know the parents so its hard to judge how they will react. If you guys got married and had kids they might decide that they would rather put aside their preferences and love their grandchildren and daughter in law. On the other hand they might disown their son if he tells them he wants to marry you. It all depends on what kind of people they are. I'm guessing you haven't had that much contact with them?
lovelylady Posted March 19, 2005 Posted March 19, 2005 I can relate to this situation. I've been dating this guy for about a year and his family is orthodox but he does not consider himself to be religious - jewish, but not religious. i am not religious at all (but spiritual -and have studied religions for years as a hobby) When I say orhodox, I mean his sister is married to a rabbi and his brothers goes to synagogue everyday. I've met his father (though he didn't know we were dating and he was very curious to find out whether we were) and he was friendly, but not overly so. i've also met one one of his brothers (twice) and he's very friendly to me. I saw him the other day for the second time and I walked away from the experience wondering whether my not being jewish had phased him at all (as he was very friendly w/me and we got along quite well) And i think - and i hate to think it - that no matter how much his family may like me - i'm still not jewish. all i can hope for is that they would want their son, who is now 41 and never been married, to be happy with a woman who will love him and care for him. and as he won't date jewish women, I would hope they would think i'm the best non-jew for him. you need to find out how much of an issue - or whether it's an issue or not - that you are not jewish. if it's not an issue for him, that's all that matters. if it's not an issue for him, then he will be able to strongly stand by you and defend his choice should it come to that. you need to really discuss it in depth though - and i would say the sooner, the better.
Author KissMyTiara Posted March 21, 2005 Author Posted March 21, 2005 Ok, so on our date this weekend, I found out the new guy is "non-practicing." I asked, "ever" and he said "raaaarrreeelllyyy." For example, he went to his first Shabbat dinner in 5 years last Friday with his business partner to the home of the guy who introduced them. Religion is simply not a huge part of his life, but it is for his family. His parents are seriously encouraging him to settle down and start a family, with a Jewish girl (he's 34, apparently that makes him old). His brother gave him a book called "Why marry Jewish?" and it freaked him out. His family apparently clearly sees that it is VERY important for him to marry a Jewish girl, but he doesn't. So...although I now know it's not a problem for him, but it could be a very big deal family-wise if things get serious.
Girly Girl Posted March 21, 2005 Posted March 21, 2005 Hi Kiss! I'm glad I helped a bit. Following your last post, I would say it can become a situation. My parents would also prefer me to marry Jewish, as do many Jewish parents. But, as I said before, they have come to like my bf and realize that it is more important to them that I be happy and that I remain Jewish. It is more important to them that I bring my children up respecting my values and beliefs and teach them many aspects of the faith that I practice. They also expect my bf to respect them as well and participate in the celebrations, but not the religious parts. Did that make sense (ie, he comes to Rosh Hashannah dinners, but not so important for him to come to synnagogue, although I will encourage him to see it, as he is this coming year). I do Shabbat dinners every week at my parents, and he is more than welcome to come. To us, that time is more about actually getting everyone together, rather than the blessings, so it might be similar to them. Either way, if it is something that progresses, or looks like it might, I would talk to him seriously about how willing he would be to fight with his family about it. I love my bf, but I also love my family. I don't think I could marry anyone (jewish or not) that they didn't like, just because that familial relationship is important to me. Luckily, I've never been in that situation, even though I date non-jews. The funniest part is that my grandmother (the holodaust survivor) really likes my bf, and wants us to get amrried as long as the children are raised learning jewish traditions (she's fine with doing the catholic ones too). That's a pretty prgressive view from a 90 yr old jewish woman!! girly girl
GirlDown Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 his family shouldn't judge you on religion, i don't think. for pete's sake, it's 2005. i wouldn't tell then about your penchant for other women's husbands, however, that might not be acceptable, and you don't want them to think you're a who*re. no one wants to wear the scarlet letter. but as for religion, that shouldn't be a factor in your relationship. there's even a discussion on whether 2-religion relationships could work, and people had a lot of positive things to say. good luck with this new one.
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