bubblygrl5 Posted March 15, 2005 Posted March 15, 2005 Alright, I'm wondering about how ppl with bf's and gf's act towards other males and females...and waht is considered normal... A little background...I used to date this guy...pretty casual thing. We went out on and off forever. It's one of those things where we shacked up when we were single, but remained friends when someone was attached. I'd say we're pretty tight. We're both in relationships now (although mine has seen better days!) and I think he is happy with his gf. But the thing is, he'll drunk dial me, or send me drunken text messages (how you manage to do that when you're sloshed is beyond me...). I'll get these calls at like 3 AM or random times...and I'm thinking....shouldnt you be drunk dialing your gf??? He'll be like, come out to this party....or he'll be like, come to this bar. Sometimes he calls after a party breaks up, and he wants to meet up with me to hang out... We absolutely don't ever hook up - kissing, sex, etc. But we do kiss on the cheek or get sorta cuddly I guess. But there really is so much history. Sometimes I feel like something is there...and I want to know if I'm imagining it or not...from his end at least. Is this normal? Bubbly
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 15, 2005 Posted March 15, 2005 He enjoys the closeness one can have from a 'safe' ex - someone who can let them re-experience a certain set of emotions/feelings that are generally inappropriate between people in those situations who haven't dated before: and not have to worry about it affecting how he feels for his current gf. Unfortunately, this sort of thing - while perfectly understood by the people who used to date, is not generally as understood as the people who are currently dating them. I expect if you sat down your bf and his gf and told them what you posted here - no matter how innocent it may seem to the two of you, I seriously doubt your SO's would see it that way. Should they find out on their own - it would look very, very suspicious - even if there is nothing to it. he'll drunk dial me, or send me drunken text messages (how you manage to do that when you're sloshed is beyond me...). I'll get these calls at like 3 AM or random times...and I'm thinking....shouldnt you be drunk dialing your gf??? He'll be like, come out to this party....or he'll be like, come to this bar. Sometimes he calls after a party breaks up, and he wants to meet up with me to hang out... Your SO's aren't going to see this as anything but booty calling - even if it isn't, and I also doubt that either one would believe that ... we absolutely don't ever hook up - kissing, sex, etc. I would not be able to fault them, either for believing that. His 'after hours' calls/invitations just scream "booty call". So, you'll have to strike a balance between what is normal for you and what is acceptable for the both of you in your relationships with your SO's. Is it something that you would feel comfortable telling your SO or his? No? Then you'd be best off not doing this.
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