disneyfan90 Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 I started dating this guy like 4 months ago, and I think he's great. However, there's only problem: He's a total extrovert, and I'm a total introvert. That's fine with me, but there's one thing that's getting to me. Whenever we hangout, he for some reason always wants to make plans that involving drinking and staying out late at night--like 2 am. This is pretty much every weekend. I know this isn't an issue for most people our age (we're both 23), but I always have to wake up early in the morning to work and do other things (even on weekends). The other thing is that I drink once in a while, but I could never do it every weekend, the way he does. He just likes to get wasted pretty much every weekend. I always suggest meeting up earlier in the day so I can come home earlier (like 10 or 11 pm), but he never seems to be happy with this. Most of our plans have to involve partying and alcohol--I don't know what's wrong with just seeing a movie or getting dinner or going to a game or something simple like that. I'm working and I'm in grad school, so I can never get enough sleep. I feel bad for not wanting to stay out till 2 am every weekend, but is there anything wrong with that? Last weekend, I went out drinking with some friends till the early morning hours--and I hated it. I don't want to do that again at least not for a long while. I don't know if I'm the only one who feels this way? Regardless, I feel bad for disappointing him, and I'm not sure what else to do.
Redhead14 Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 I started dating this guy like 4 months ago, and I think he's great. However, there's only problem: He's a total extrovert, and I'm a total introvert. That's fine with me, but there's one thing that's getting to me. Whenever we hangout, he for some reason always wants to make plans that involving drinking and staying out late at night--like 2 am. This is pretty much every weekend. I know this isn't an issue for most people our age (we're both 23), but I always have to wake up early in the morning to work and do other things (even on weekends). The other thing is that I drink once in a while, but I could never do it every weekend, the way he does. He just likes to get wasted pretty much every weekend. I always suggest meeting up earlier in the day so I can come home earlier (like 10 or 11 pm), but he never seems to be happy with this. Most of our plans have to involve partying and alcohol--I don't know what's wrong with just seeing a movie or getting dinner or going to a game or something simple like that. I'm working and I'm in grad school, so I can never get enough sleep. I feel bad for not wanting to stay out till 2 am every weekend, but is there anything wrong with that? Last weekend, I went out drinking with some friends till the early morning hours--and I hated it. I don't want to do that again at least not for a long while. I don't know if I'm the only one who feels this way? Regardless, I feel bad for disappointing him, and I'm not sure what else to do. Be direct, tell him you simply can't keep that kind of schedule every weekend and that sometimes you won't be doing that with him and he is welcome to go without you. If he doesn't try to accommodate/make a compromise for your needs, he disappointing you. 2
d0nnivain Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 You aren't compatible. You are making different choices & neither is happy on the other's schedule. The fact the your supposed to be the one who always compromises means that he is disappointing you. Where does that factor in? 3
Assasda Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 Well, would you call his behavior irresponsible, or destructive?
IronZ Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 He's acting like a 23 year old. Bar hopping, drinking, staying out late on the weekends. It's what he likes to do. I have a feeling your interests just don't click well together, and that's totally fine. It's not meant to be. You don't have to change who you are for some guy. A relationship is about getting along well together, not trying to be something you're not because you feel like you're disappointing each other. 2
Emilia Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 It does sound like you aren't compatible. It's not so much an extrovert/introvert thing, it's more whether you want to have your lifestyle revolve around alcohol. He does, you don't.
mammasita Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 There's the introvert/extrovert thing again. No, just because he likes to party and you don't has nothing to do with being intro/extro. He's acting like a normal partying 23 year old college boy. You're not into that and he won't change for you. You're not compatible is the bottom line. Asking him to go to the movies on a Friday night goes against everything that flows through his veins and he might do it, but he'd resent you afterwards because he missed out on smashing a beer can against his forehead.
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