jbentley87 Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 Hello again LS... I had another question that was lingering in my mind. As I've stated in several previous posts, I am in NC and have been for some time now. The urge to break is very intense, but I am just taking it day by day. However, I wanted to know about your experience with NC and actually breaking NC. I know there aren't many success stories after doing so, but I wanted to know if you did break NC how did you do it? Did you come up with an elaborate plan to get her/him back? Did you just express your love to them without holding back any feelings? Did you bring up old times and good memories? Did you write the forbidden "letter"? What was your method of contact (text, e-mail, in person, phone call)? Was your plan to come off as cool and casual or was it to really get deep in your emotions when speaking with your ex? When you reflect back on the situation, do you think you handled it how it should have been handled or do you think you would have been better off letting him/her fade into the distance without ever speaking your mind? I would sure like to hear your stories and outcomes. Also, I do believe it can be a different scenario if a girl is trying to get back a guy that has dumped her versus a guy trying to get a girl back that dumped him. There is also the case when the dumper tries this too. Please specify M or F and possibly how long you were with your ex. Thanks guys!
April Moon Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 I was with my ex for two and half years. I have been NC for almost one year an half. I have never broken NC and it has been worth it! I feel like that is a success story. 3
Mi7522 Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 I was with a girl for about 4 months but it was a very intense 4 months as we saw each other almost everyday. She needed space because things were moving too fast for her. That was 7 weeks ago, we had LC for the first 5 weeks but have gone NC for the last 2. I don't expect to hear from her but I feel much better about things and I'm going on my first date this weekend since the BU. That's success!
me85 Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 Was with my ex for 2 years. Lived together pretty much the whole time. He ultimately ended things with me. Kept me on a string, played games with me...all that. I did beg and plead 'round 15 months ago when we first BU though. Lesson quickly learned NOT to keep doing that. NO MATTER WHAT. Now if I ever contact him, it's only while I'm drunk but it's never anything sad, serious, or sentimental. Just cool casual "here's a funny video" BS.
DrReplyInRhymes Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 I've had 2 women in my life chase after me, Neither I respected or ever planned a relationship to be. They both strayed away, both came crawling back, Gave them the finger, was tempted to show them my sack. One ex tried to tell me that I was the best she had, Proceeded to ask me about money I owed from the past. Paid the due, as I agreed with the debt, Haven't heard from her since and don't plan to yet! The second ex called, stalked, and cried as much. Finally let go, and went out of touch. She contacted me months later, and even gave me money she owed. Thought she was serious, so I gave it a go! 1 month later, we broke up for the same old ****. Unable to tell the truth and unable to commit. She put on a good show, but it was all just an act. Only took 30 days to figure out this heinous fact. As for the women I'VE chased by breaking no contact? None of them successful, none of them cared as a matter of fact. I've learned over time that real men do not chase, But instead they move forward, and forget those women in haste! 2
Strength in Healing Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 Lmao Dr Rhymes, what on Earth... 1
ThorntonMelon Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 This isn't going to answer your question directly, but I feel it is important to answer this way. So long as you're doing this: Did you come up with an elaborate plan to get her/him back? Did you just express your love to them without holding back any feelings? Did you bring up old times and good memories? Did you write the forbidden "letter"? What was your method of contact (text, e-mail, in person, phone call)? Was your plan to come off as cool and casual or was it to really get deep in your emotions when speaking with your ex? When you reflect back on the situation, do you think you handled it how it should have been handled or do you think you would have been better off letting him/her fade into the distance without ever speaking your mind? You are strategizing about a relationship that does not exist. Period. You are nothing besides a Disney/Pixar movie. Peter Pan, Cinderella, etc. Under no circumstances should anyone living in fantasy land be interacting (at least as it relates to their relationship) with someone living in reality. They are speaking two different languages. They will only talk past each other. It is only when you are back speaking the same language (generally indifference or at least not having a real stake in the outcome) that you can communicate effectively. I believe in this strongly - NC should ALWAYS be used (unless you have kids with someone) so long as the two parties aren't on the same page as it relates to their relationship. You can't talk someone into being on the same page as you - love is not rational or logical and cannot be bargained. Anyways, the question answers itself. So long as you would consider asking the question, the answer is NO. 2
OK_computer Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 I've had 2 women in my life chase after me, Neither I respected or ever planned a relationship to be. They both strayed away, both came crawling back, Gave them the finger, was tempted to show them my sack. One ex tried to tell me that I was the best she had, Proceeded to ask me about money I owed from the past. Paid the due, as I agreed with the debt, Haven't heard from her since and don't plan to yet! The second ex called, stalked, and cried as much. Finally let go, and went out of touch. She contacted me months later, and even gave me money she owed. Thought she was serious, so I gave it a go! 1 month later, we broke up for the same old ****. Unable to tell the truth and unable to commit. She put on a good show, but it was all just an act. Only took 30 days to figure out this heinous fact. As for the women I'VE chased by breaking no contact? None of them successful, none of them cared as a matter of fact. I've learned over time that real men do not chase, But instead they move forward, and forget those women in haste! Love the last stanza Dr.Rhymes! 1
metaversus Posted November 10, 2014 Posted November 10, 2014 This is one of the most depressing rhymes I've ever read. I've had 2 women in my life chase after me, Neither I respected or ever planned a relationship to be. They both strayed away, both came crawling back, Gave them the finger, was tempted to show them my sack. One ex tried to tell me that I was the best she had, Proceeded to ask me about money I owed from the past. Paid the due, as I agreed with the debt, Haven't heard from her since and don't plan to yet! The second ex called, stalked, and cried as much. Finally let go, and went out of touch. She contacted me months later, and even gave me money she owed. Thought she was serious, so I gave it a go! 1 month later, we broke up for the same old ****. Unable to tell the truth and unable to commit. She put on a good show, but it was all just an act. Only took 30 days to figure out this heinous fact. As for the women I'VE chased by breaking no contact? None of them successful, none of them cared as a matter of fact. I've learned over time that real men do not chase, But instead they move forward, and forget those women in haste!
DrReplyInRhymes Posted November 11, 2014 Posted November 11, 2014 This is one of the most depressing rhymes I've ever read. Please understand this, I do this for fun. I like to help people, and relate experiences one by one. You see, my choice to deliver my experiences and advice in rhyme has nothing to do with trivializing people's problem at any time. You'll come to find out, through my responses you'll see, I do try to help, even as hard as that may be. Believe it or not, this is kind of a therapy for me, It keeps me from being negative in thought you see. Not to derail or change subjects, I'll try to finish and end, I am a male, and those 2 women were both a year long girlfriend. As for the outcomes of each, you can read those above, Nothing worked out, I was all out of love. 2
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