Is it considered flirting when; and considered bad to flirt with everyone?

[Tik]

My personality type is the jolly laid back type. As such I play into the hands of the lovable larrikin. The funny thing is woman are really drawn to me (I'm not being arrogant or anything) but I guess it is to the fun and happy go lucky side of things. As such I flirt ALOT. But I don't discriminate so I flirt with every one regardless of look, stature, personality etc.

 

Thing is I've noticed I've gotten the stink eye from a few girls almost like a slate of jealousy going through. I'll be honest in that I don't understand this because to me flirting is nothing but a bit of fun and games.

 

I guess it hit it's climax with a girl I dated and noticed how it fizzled out corresponded with my interactions with other girls. Yet she never mentioned it to me. Heck, I don't even know how my protocol should be as even in the early stages of dating, am I suppose to be as conservative as a nun when talking to other woman?

 

My actions can range from teasing girls to the arm over the shoulder to playful punching and the likes. Is this bad? If so, how am I suppose to act? It goes against my personality not to be the cheeky, fun, playful guy. What do you girls think?

[smackie9]

You need to make a few little adjustments when you start to date someone (set up boundaries), but I wouldn't totally eliminate the interactions, maybe tone it down a little. We get this all the time on here, jealous jealous jealous.....IMO it's your personality, and there must be someone else out there that is just the same as you. It's going to be a tough one to find her but you will. The majority of people are jealous sots, and if these girls know what you are like, then why are they dating you if it makes them upset? No you don't need to act like nun, you just have to stipulate that this is how you are and if they don't like it, then don't date you.

 

People need to verbalize their expectations right at the beginning of dating. Too many just assume things will change or happen, only to find themselves here complaining about it lol.

[smackie9]

You keep your personality please! Leave those jealous girls alone, they only cramp your style.

[acrosstheuniverse]

Everyone's version of flirting is very different. Some girls wouldn't like it if you're having a laugh and a joke with other women, for example.

 

For me 'flirting' is so hard to define I don't really see an issue with it, as most people seem to see it as basically being really friendly to someone, having a laugh and a joke, a compliment over basically anything... I'm like that with most people male or female, so is my boyfriend. We are both the kind of people to walk into a party and have made new friends by the end of it, whether we do it separately or together. I love that I can bring him out with me someplace he's not familiar and I don't have to worry about babysitting him or him struggling to speak to people, I can just leave him to it and vice versa: I'll make conversation with people, find common ground, and end up having a great time.

 

Flirting becomes inappropriate in my book when there's intent behind it, i.e. not just a friendly bit of banter, but trying to swap numbers, comments on the person's appearance that are sexual or inappropriate, stating you're single, and so forth. Innuendo. Making it look as though you're looking for more than the conversation to just end there, or not making it clear you're in a relationship if the other party wants to get your contact details and meet again, if that makes sense?

 

I'll stand in line at the coffee shop and talk to anyone if it comes up, male or female... I wouldn't playfully touch someone I didn't know but I might a friend, male or female... I couldn't be doing with a partner staring daggers or questioning me about it later. Maybe because I don't mind at all seeing my partner act 'flirty' with people, he's a charismatic guy and I trust him not to take it any further.

 

So tell me OP, do YOU think you're being inappropriately flirty with other people? Or do you honestly feel that your behaviour is just that of somebody outgoing and friendly? Do you act the exact same towards other men?

[Assasda]

Make no adjustments.

Sometime people get mad at people having all the fun, because, well, they are no fun themselves.

 

Its like the one person, that goes in the pool at a stuffy pool party. Other people think something is wrong with him, but there is really something wrong with everyone else.

 

If someone is having fun and living their truth, you can only be happy for them

[d0nnivain]

I'm a flirty person. Some people are not & they get very jealous if you so much as make pleasant conversation with a server during a meal.

 

You have to be true to your self but respectful of the person you are dating. If something in particular makes them bonkers, knock it off. If everything about your personality causes a fight, break it off.

[Haerts]

If you're in a relationship, then you should adapt yourself to the other one; ADAPT, not change yourself. If there are too many things on yourself that your date doesn't like, then it's clear you're not compatible.

 

My ex use to flirt with other girls every now and then. Sometimes he would even talk about something about them he found interesting, right in front of me. Like once, when we were buying a drink and he liked this girl's tattoo and he told her how awesome it was. I found it disrespectful to me, but he didn't. There were times he would say how hot a girl passing by is or that a certain girl is in a serious relationship but he wished she wasn't (like he actually wanted to go out on a date with her). These were jokes sometimes, but what woman in this world wanna hear from their boyfriend how hot or dateable other girls are?

 

So like, if flirting is your natural behavior and you start something serious with someone, you should try to cut it off. Being in a relationship means you're there for that person and being flirty is an attitude that shows the opposite. Then again, people take flirting in different ways, so know what the girl you're with thinks about it and then see what to do. If your she doesn't mind it, then okay, but if she does, I'd be with her.

[acrosstheuniverse]

My ex use to flirt with other girls every now and then. Sometimes he would even talk about something about them he found interesting, right in front of me. Like once, when we were buying a drink and he liked this girl's tattoo and he told her how awesome it was. I found it disrespectful to me, but he didn't.

 

On the whole I agree with your advice, especially about how it was inappropriate of your ex to talk about how hot a passing girl was, or that he wished she was single. That's WAY inappropriate. But I am genuinely curious, why did him complimenting a girl's tattoo bother you? If I see an awesome or interesting tattoo on either gender I compliment it or ask about it politely, people do it to mine quite a lot, both men and women. I've never taken that as a flirt, just genuine curiosity or a simple compliment.

[d0nnivain]

So like, if flirting is your natural behavior and you start something serious with someone, you should try to cut it off. Being in a relationship means you're there for that person and being flirty is an attitude that shows the opposite.

 

As my husband says, I could no more stop flirting then I could stop breathing.

 

There's a way to do it without being disrespectful to your partner.

 

However, if one person is flirty like me & the other person freaks out, while the 1st person should try to tone it down, if their "best behavior" is still too much for the other person, those 2 folks may not be compatible.

 

One of my EXs was a huge flirt. It drove some of my friends crazy because they couldn't understand why I wasn't upset. To me it was just the way he was & I always knew I was #1 in his world & that he was going home with me.

 

There is a balance.

[Tik]

Thanks guys. At no point am I after anything else with my interactions but a little bit of fun and cheekiness. I guess sometimes one has to behave a bit better or to simply realise that what I'm chasing may not be the perfect fit for me.