Do you always know when someone is just being friendly?

[Toodaloo]

Reason being is that I think I might have just asked someone out on a date with out meaning to but he said yes, wanted to go this weekend then got all flustered... Its currently in rain check status for a couple of weeks time.

 

I think I might be getting this all bottom about face...

 

Perhaps this randomly chatting to people isn't such a good idea right now.

 

Whoops!

[Frank2thepoint]

When I was young and dumb, I equated a girl being friendly as a girl that wants me. So I made myself look like a fool plenty of times by asking them out and creating awkward situations. Good times.

 

Now I am just a little bite wiser, I often mentally stop myself from reading too much into a woman's friendliness, but not all the time unfortunately. Many people are just friendly, just like many people are grumpy/standoffish.

[Toodaloo]

When I was young and dumb, I equated a girl being friendly as a girl that wants me. So I made myself look like a fool plenty of times by asking them out and creating awkward situations. Good times.

 

They don't know what they were missing

[ASG]

I'm usually quite good at discerning friendly from interested. USUALLY. But sometimes I have doubts... Is that guy being friendly or is he interested? I think he's interested, but is it me being full of myself??

 

To be honest, about 90% of the time I thought that, it turned out that they were actually interested.

 

But if I suggest going out, I make sure to be very casual about it and maybe even suggest inviting more people, so that it is clear I want it to be a FRIENDLY affair and not a date.

[carhill]

Do you always know when someone is just being friendly?

 

TBH, I never know and never will know. It's part of not being a mind reader.

 

However, historically, my default has been to presume the lady being friendly is married and, also historically, that presumption has been correct nearly 100% of the time. In the small sample where incorrect, most of those have turned out to be in LTR's. I met my long-time female best friend in such a manner and she finally got married to her BF after 10+ years.

 

What was in their mind was, is and will forever be unknown. I simply noticed their actions. They didn't have sexual relations with me nor appeared to be interested in dating me, for the most part anyway. Hence they were just being friendly. That's OK. IMO, be friendly with whom you like to be friendly with. You're not responsible for their thoughts and feelings. Sometimes you can brighten someone's day with friendship, even if only for a moment.

[gaius]

Most guys aren't going to be a total dick to a woman who tries to chat them up so you'll probably get lot's of false positives. One of the reasons it's more fun to be a dude.

 

After a while you just kind of develop instinct about it though. Some cashier was trying to joke around with me the other day but I didn't feel an ounce of actual warmness or interest from her. It's always a little disturbing when I run into a person like that. Just be who you are dammit.