What do you do when your new bf has physco ex?

[Girlie]

I've been dating this really great guy for several months now. I'm loving it. It's a total first for me. I mean this guy tells me I'm a goddess and actually treats me like one. I've never had this before.

There is a problem however. He's divorced and his ex-wife (who he has two kids with) is not playing with a full deck. When he first described her to me, I thought for sure he was exaggerating. You know how people are when they get out of a relationship with someone. There's hurt feelings and stuff. The guy will accuse the woman of being phsyco (although, in my case, he would never do that in front of his kids), and the girl will say the man is nothing but a pig. Just typical bitter feelings stuff. However, she soon started having her kids tell me that she hated me (even though we've never spoken). And then she'd start making up things to people that she knows that know me. Like that I'm doing all sorts of inappropriate things in front of her children, or that I'm harrassing her in some way (Again, I've never spoken to her). She called CPS because she felt her ex kept the kids up too late and they didn't get enough sleep when they were with him one weekend and that was abusive and also somehow my fault. And then I found out that this is something she has a history of. At first, I was just kind of in shock. This isn't really something I've ever dealt with before. Now, I'm just like....ok, what the hell do I do?! I really like this guy. He seems great, and he's never done anything but treat me with respect and be genuinely sweet and gentle with me. He's done nothing that would cause me to break up with him. On the other hand, man, his ex is a nut case. I keep wondering if I'm going to come home and find my bunny boiling in a pot or something (ala, Fatal Attraction, for people who haven't seen it). So I guess I just want some opinions. I mean, is it worth it to hang in there and forge a relationship with a person who does seem really great. Or is it better to run like hell when something like this happens. Again, just looking for opinions because I'm really at a loss.

[whichwayisup]

Fatal Attraction, for people who haven't seen it

 

I don't think there is anybody who hasn't seen or heard of this movie...It made too much of an impact! LOL!

 

Ok well, honestly there is nothing you can do as the exwife just seems to be not playing with a full deck. The best thing is to do nothing unless she harasses you - calls you and stalks you.

 

I am sure the cops will see through her BS and realize she is doing this all for reaction.

 

What does he say about it all? That is the most important thing. How he handles it and what he does to try and stop her from ruining the relationship.

 

She is jealous of you, in everyway. Spending time with her kids, she probably feels very threatened. One thing to do is when the kids are there, tell them you are not replacing their mother, but you are part of the picture and not going anywhere. Be firm but allow them to ask questions if they want. Show them care and love, I'm sure they will come around.

[Merin]

Mama Drama.. Damn sucks!

 

WWIU gives some good advice.. be cool with the kids.. let them know that you're not trying to replace thier Mom that you just want to be thier friend.

 

It will still piss her off if her kids like you because it makes her feel insecure...

 

Honestly who knows how long this girl can keep up the drama..maybe not long.. but maybe forever...

 

So being that your BF will be tied to her because of the little people.. ask yourself if this is something you can or want to deal with.

 

Good Luck

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

sorry, this isn't really related but a friend of mine was seeing a woman (they both left their spouses to be together) and her little guy (age 7) went home and danced around the house in front of his dad singing "I'm getting a new daddy"

 

He turned the kids against my friend obviously, but somehow she felt sorry for him and dumped my friend to go back.