Dmoney28 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Hello, Its been a while since I have posted here, and have had several relationships since the Break Up that brought me here in the first place. I guess I'm just venting, but something has been irritating me lately. I was with my ex for 4 years, and I caused the relationship to end. I was cheating and lying, and was pretty much not being a responsible adult. After 8 months of Light Contact, she made it very clear not ever contact her again, and she was happy in her new relationship. I finally understood that I had to leave her alone, and fix my self....which I did. Psychologist session helped address my infidelity issues, Detox center helped with my alcohol abuse, I got a good job, traveled, and basically grew the F@#* up. I always thought of her as the "Great White Buffalo" (Hot tub Time Machine Reference), someone that I though I would never stop loving. But time has a way of fading and blurring memories and emotions. I honestly think I was more in love with the idea of her, or the memory I had of her....through out the these years. 3 years later after NC, I get a invite from her for a Social Media Site. I mulled it over in my mind and on these forums..... and decided to accept. I sent a simple message, "hello, how have you been". A week goes by, and nothing. So I sent another "Well, I hope all is well, congratulations on getting married and having your first child. I'm glad you found happiness, I will always regret throwing you away."....then she replies with "you did". Nothing else. I wasn't set back really, I was seeing someone at the time. So I let it go at that, and continued living life. I would continue to receive updates from the Social Site about her, but I never opened the emails. it was like "Oh, I wonder how she is doing" when checking my emails. 2 years later I received a update saying she added someone I might know. Now my curiosity is peaked, we have zero acquaintances or friends, so I am curious as to who it is. It turns out to be a friend of mine that I work with. No idea how they even know each other. So I brush it off, no desire to ask him about it. Then a week later I get another update saying someone is viewing my profile, and it turns out to be a friend of hers. Again, I didn't read too much into it. but it seems kind of weird, like more than just a coincidence. Then the next day I get yet another email saying someone else has been viewing your profile. So open the email, and its her. I'm very confused about this. I respected her original need for NC, and I thought I was polite in accepting the invite after no contact , and sending a friendly message. But she didn't even reply until I sent a second one. I don't have any animosity towards her. I accepted that she got married and moved on, so I moved on as well...eventually, lol . I apologized constantly for the way I treated her the first year after we broke up , gave her back every expensive item and gift she gave me, paid back every dollar....why not just reply with "Thanks you, how have you been"? I don't feel the same way I did during those early years...when the pain was still fresh. But this is bothering me for some reason. I don't know her now, she is like a total stranger...but why on earth is this bugging me still? Anyone attempting NC...for god sake stick with it. I felt rejected after she blew me off when I replied the first time.
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