Does dating a man while seperated really make you the OW?

[prettyeyes87]

Another thing...not sure if this is word play or what but I do hear alot about being separated vs "legally" separated. But when he and I became friends again he was just separated. Now since I didn't know much about this I thought that a legal separation was something different. So when he started begging to date me I told him to get legally separated first (sounds dumb). Well this is the same day he told his wife about the friend he was hanging out with and asked her if they could legally separate as well. So i think she knew his intentions were to start dating me but got upset and wanted to work on the marriage which I can understand which is why I am NC and leaving them be.

[PegNosePete]

Legally separated is still married. He is legally married until he is divorced (or widowed). There's often very little benefit to becoming "legally separated", except in jurisdictions where it is a requirement for divorce - why not just divorce instead? Getting legally separated is generally a waste of time and money.

 

Technically and legally, since he is still married, it is an affair, and if you have sex then the married person is committing adultery. It's technically possible (although unlikely and unwise) for a divorce petition to be granted based on adultery.

 

But most people would agree that morally it's not cheating or an affair since both parties are fully aware that the marriage is over, and the affair did not lead to or cause the marriage breakdown.