kolleamm Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 So I'm with this girl, it's an on off kind off thing. I should have really posted this on here much sooner because I need to have the truth given to me straight perhaps by someone that has been through it before. When things first started out with her they were great. We talked for the first few days and all that romantic stuff. Now we are practically sitting in the same room and she completely ignores me! She is either always texting her friends, her EX included, or browsing on youtube or ebay. I told her could you try to put a little more effort in our communication, she said she's going through "some stuff" right now. Ok by now you are thinking this girl is losing interest. Well here's the funny part, I have tried to break up with her 3 times so far and every time I have done this she starts crying getting emotional and begs me to come back. Ok so I take her back, and guess what the next day she just completely ignores me again and texts all day again, everyone except me. She does send me messages, with reply rates that would make one think she lives on the outer edge of the solar system and that the speed of light would be a factor. On top of that they are responses that add almost nothing to the conversation like "lol, mhm, k, idk" Why does this girl want me to stay with her if she cares so little for me? Could you be with someone so inconsiderate that puts their friends before you and even their ex? I used to think she was just shy, but you should see her to talk to her ex on the phone. After she's done talking she gives me a bitchy look and starts texting again. Almost 3 months now... I'm really frustrated. What do I do?
mammasita Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 You dump her. Stop falling for the boo hoo hoo and terrible treatment that NEVER changes. 7
Author kolleamm Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 The question is why are you staying with someone that treats you like cr@p and disrespects you? Ask yourself that question and really dig deep down for the answer. I have low self esteem and I'm afraid of ending up alone.
RoseHeart Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 She sounds like she loves knowing she power of you. Whenever she cries, she know you'll just come back and ignore her bad behavior. You've given her no consequences for her actions. She messes up, you leave but then forgive her again and cycle starts again. She'll never change till you put your foot down and tell her that her behavior is not acceptable. And it really is not. She sounds highly inconsiderate and not like someone I could ever be with. Think carefully if you're up for a life like this cause people seldom change. If she's a fan of the silent treatment then be prepared for a life full of it cause that's clearly how she deals with issues. 4
Dallers Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 You are a pushover and she is using for something. Is she living with you? Money? there is something there that she knows she can keep hold of by crying and manipulating you. You my friend are being walked on and whatever the reason is for her staying it is not you. If she is messaging her ex then she is done with you by the sounds of it. Man the F up and get rid of this complete tool before you allow yourself to become a wet piece of toilet paper. You don't have low self-esteem this girl is most likely the cause of it. Get rid pronto. 4
J21 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 I have low self esteem and I'm afraid of ending up alone. I'd rather end up alone than be in your "relationship". Ignore her crying bs and break up. You're just as much of a emotional crutch to her as she is to you. Time to bust loose buddy and man the eff up.
Frank2thepoint Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 I have low self esteem and I'm afraid of ending up alone. You're kidding, right? Right? Like others have said, she is not being held responsible for her actions. You are tolerating everything she does by taking her back after breaking up with her. What I don't understand is, you have the confidence to speak up about her behavior, you have the confidence to break up with her, but you don't have the confidence to ignore her and move on? 2
writergal Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 I have low self esteem and I'm afraid of ending up alone. It sounds like you're STILL ALONE with this woman in your life. She's stringing you along with her boo-hoos and outer-galaxy text messages that take light years to reach you. You've already asked her to prioritize you in her life when you're in the same room! But she won't even do that! I've been with guys like that, who made me feel like a lamp they just bought and were showing off to their friends at party. They treated me like an object, a void-filler, not as a person whom they wanted to have in their life. If you want to remain an option to this Interstellar woman, and have a sci-fi relationship where she eventually morphs into an invisible monster who randomly texts you when she's lonely or bored...stay with her. No one wants to end up alone. But if you stay with this woman, where you already feel alone while you're with her in the same room, you will never feel like the other half of a couple. You will be alone. Everyone's advice to dump her is correct. Time to launch this torpedo of "emotional unavailability" into outer space and navigate your way to a planet populated with single, emotionally available women...like The Amazons. 3
EverLastluv Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Low self esteme? Afraid of being alone? Have you thought about trying to love your self first before you get involved in a relationship. I am 2xx 1b, live alone. I would tell you something I dont have a low selfesteme. I love my self way too much to have someone in my life to make me feel like crap. figure out the good qualities in your self and self praise your self more other than waste your time with a chick who dont cares. I was told good things comes to those who wait dont think you would not find better, make your soul happy first by loving YOU!!
Toodaloo Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 I have low self esteem and I'm afraid of ending up alone. Well its not going to get any better being in a relationship like this is it? Pull yourself together man and get a grip. You hate this relationship your feeling more and more insecure so rip the plaster off and start getting yourself in a position where you are not going to accept being treated like a mouldy pair of pants. Time for you to spend some time on your own, do some of he things you like doing or if you don't know what they are go out and try new things so you can find out. Then when you are more secure in yourself and happier, then look for someone who treats you with a shred of respect... You might actually know what that means by then. Its only been 3 months - its not as if you have been married for years. If you found this one 3 months ago your bound to find another. 1
WomenWubber Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Now we are practically sitting in the same room and she completely ignores me! She is either always texting her friends, her EX included, or browsing on youtube or ebay. Next time she pulls that crap... Get on your computer. Browse for porn. The screen in front of you is your world. Ignore everything except what's on the computer screen. Cry rivers of joy. Or, you could just kick her ass to the curb. 3
Author kolleamm Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 All very good points, I also forgot to mention the icing on the cake, she got really drunk at a party and made out with another guy.
WhatIsLove2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 All very good points, I also forgot to mention the icing on the cake, she got really drunk at a party and made out with another guy. Soooooooooo do you really need anymore advice? 1
rester Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 All very good points, I also forgot to mention the icing on the cake, she got really drunk at a party and made out with another guy. After only three months. Dump her. Ignore her crying. It'll be tough, but you will be a better man afterwards. 1
Priv Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 All very good points, I also forgot to mention the icing on the cake, she got really drunk at a party and made out with another guy. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude 3
Thegreatestthing Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Wants the security of a relationship,companionship or adoration,but is not really interested in you is my guess. 3
writergal Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Eject her. It's time. For your own peace of mind. 2
OwMyEyeball Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Maybe having grown up in the digital era she only really knows how to properly communicate via text. To her that's real life. Everything else is this strange fugue state of strange sensations and emotions so distant from the endless novelty springing from her iPhone screen. There beside her is this one individual who can only ever offer a slow and analogous stream of information combined with odd gestures in the ancient form of "body language". So exotic, yet so frighte - OMG I JUST GOT A TEXT FROM BECKY - Wait! A BuzzFeed update! Three notifications on FB!!! Anyhow, try breaking up with her in the format she knows best: Send her a fb message and be done with it. Add an emoticon or two to remind her she should maybe feel something. 4
WomenWubber Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 All very good points, I also forgot to mention the icing on the cake, she got really drunk at a party and made out with another guy. Now that changes everything. 3some. She wants it. You know you want it.
Author kolleamm Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 Anyhow, try breaking up with her in the format she knows best: Send her a fb message and be done with it. Add an emoticon or two to remind her she should maybe feel something. I love that, I'll give her a nice "mhm" and a good "Yea" we're done. I'm gonna enjoy this. 1
Mrin Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 OP's story in food: I have been going to this restaurant for three months now every day for lunch. Half the time I don't even get a chance to place my order because no one ever comes to take it. When I actually do get my order place, the food is often wrong, cold or doesn't even show up. I've tried complaining three times and every time I do they beg me to stay. But nothing ever changes. Oh and here is the icing on the cake - the other day the chef got drunk and peed in the soup du jour. Do you think I should stop going there? I'm afraid to stop because I don't know what else to do with my lunch hour. 4
rester Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 I love that, I'll give her a nice "mhm" and a good "Yea" we're done. I'm gonna enjoy this. That's an awful idea. Have some respect for yourself. Man up and tell her in person. She'd be happy to have a man out of her life that's too afraid to tell something bad to her face.
WhatIsLove2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 OP's story in food: I have been going to this restaurant for three months now every day for lunch. Half the time I don't even get a chance to place my order because no one ever comes to take it. When I actually do get my order place, the food is often wrong, cold or doesn't even show up. I've tried complaining three times and every time I do they beg me to stay. But nothing ever changes. Oh and here is the icing on the cake - the other day the chef got drunk and peed in the soup du jour. Do you think I should stop going there? I'm afraid to stop because I don't know what else to do with my lunch hour. You are hilarious with all these!! It does seem to make more sense in food translation. Lol I'm going to start doing this in my own life experiences. 1
WhatIsLove2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Maybe having grown up in the digital era she only really knows how to properly communicate via text. To her that's real life. Everything else is this strange fugue state of strange sensations and emotions so distant from the endless novelty springing from her iPhone screen. There beside her is this one individual who can only ever offer a slow and analogous stream of information combined with odd gestures in the ancient form of "body language". So exotic, yet so frighte - OMG I JUST GOT A TEXT FROM BECKY - Wait! A BuzzFeed update! Three notifications on FB!!! Anyhow, try breaking up with her in the format she knows best: Send her a fb message and be done with it. Add an emoticon or two to remind her she should maybe feel something. No because he is the only person she treats like that. If he texted her or FB msgd her, she probably wouldn't read it until a week later.
writergal Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Maybe having grown up in the digital era she only really knows how to properly communicate via text. To her that's real life. Everything else is this strange fugue state of strange sensations and emotions so distant from the endless novelty springing from her iPhone screen. There beside her is this one individual who can only ever offer a slow and analogous stream of information combined with odd gestures in the ancient form of "body language". So exotic, yet so frighte - OMG I JUST GOT A TEXT FROM BECKY - Wait! A BuzzFeed update! Three notifications on FB!!! Anyhow, try breaking up with her in the format she knows best: Send her a fb message and be done with it. Add an emoticon or two to remind her she should maybe feel something. Ha, ha, ha! Your posts are awesome! 1
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