lionheart153 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Hello, it's been a while since I posted, and its been a while since I met a girl I was interested in as well. I seem pretty lost when it comes to reading sign or just dating in general so I thought I'd come online for a second opinion. Few weeks ago I met this girl at a club through a friend. How we met was interesting, as she was introduced to me, her friends told me she had never had a drink in a club before, so I was enthusiastic to break that first experience, so I offered to buy her a drink. She came with me, had a drink, talked and then she asked if I wanted to go back to her friends on the dance floor. After a bit of awkward dancing in a group I had to go and approached her and asked for her number, she gave it to me and I left. I msged her to have a good night and left it at that. Her reply was slow, 3 days later she replied saying thanks and she it was nice to meet me, from there our text was pretty generic, but our replies were about days apart. She added me of FB and I thought i'd ask her out for coffee to get to know her, and she replied with a rather large text. to shorten it, she apologized for the late reply, but she wanted to time to think about it before msging me, she explained she's not trying to be pretentious but wanted to be honest, that she never hangs out with guys one-on-one unless they are family, or have been friends for a while. That she just met me, and while I seem like a nice person she would love to get coffee or hang out but only if it was a group setting, I didn't know what to reply with really as it seemed odd since we just met, and getting coffee is quite innocent. SO i replied with sure but never made plans. I did ask if she preferred to be with her friends and to my surprise she said she would rather hang out with my friends as it may give her friends the wrong impression (what about my friends impression?). I msged her happy halloween and we started to talk about our weekend and stuff, generic. I mentioned I was cooking dinner for my friends and she joked about her missing invite. I then invited her to our next weekend gathering and she said she would love to come. She msg me earlier this week apologizing because she had a previous engagement and would have to cancel, but asked if we could do something this weekday or another weekend. I told her I was free Thursday, she wasn't but free Wednesday, but it would just be me and her. I told her this to respect her boundaries. she apologized and suggested maybe to wait another time when I have another gathering. She went on to explain she wasn't trying to be a prude, but again she doesn't know me well, but wants to get to know but she is more comfortable in a group setting. She mentioned she has never been in a relationship before and doesn't have alot of guy friends so the idea of hanging out one on one makes her nervous. she thanked me for understanding and explained she thinks I'm a nice person and about wanting to be friends but hopes I don't think I am just making excuses to not hang out. And that maybe in the future when we get to know each other we will do one on one. and that things take time, especially friendship. SO I've been out of the dating game for a while and I feel pretty terrible at reading things since my fiancée left me. Any opinions are welcome, as long as its not hateful, thank you for your time.
losangelena Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 She said she likes you and that she wants to get to know you in a group setting. What part of that makes you think she's trying to tell you she's uninterested. She said she's interested, it may just not seem like what you think an interested woman should act like. It all sounds good to me. She sound inexperienced and timid, but she's being very upfront with you about all of that, instead of simply hiding or ignoring you. Again, those are things to put in the plus column. 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 If she keeps re-iterating that it is only because she is uncomfortable being 1-on-1, then I might be inclined to let it go. However, requesting meeting in a group is one of the oldest and most common forms of rejection, you are right about that. As long as I felt like she was putting in some kind of effort, I'd be willing to meet part of the way. But you cannot put in all the effort. If she cuts contact, the second you do something that makes her uncomfortable, then I would call that her loss. 1
J21 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Sounds like she's interested, as long as it's in a group setting first. Take it nice n easy and see where it goes. 1
Author lionheart153 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 To clarify she never said she liked me, more along that lines that she would like to get to know me. I guess the part that has me thinking she may not be interested is her timidness. But that could be just how she is. For some reason this just makes me more interested in trying to get to know her. She also pointed out that things take time, especially friendships which also made me wonder. but I guess it's not like people have love at first sight or anything, I myself want to get to know her before going forward, and friendship is a starting point I suppose. and Yes the group setting made me think she wasn't interested but it has been pointed out that it could mean she's just conservative or timid.
JuneJulySeptember Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 To clarify she never said she liked me, more along that lines that she would like to get to know me. I guess the part that has me thinking she may not be interested is her timidness. But that could be just how she is. For some reason this just makes me more interested in trying to get to know her. She also pointed out that things take time, especially friendships which also made me wonder. but I guess it's not like people have love at first sight or anything, I myself want to get to know her before going forward, and friendship is a starting point I suppose. and Yes the group setting made me think she wasn't interested but it has been pointed out that it could mean she's just conservative or timid. Yea, that's a maybe. Maybes can turn into yeses. But no's, much much rarer. I pursue maybes. 1
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