jbentley87 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 I have been holding strong with absolutely no contact for nearly a month now. I was the one who got dumped. People say that there is a time to break NC and you have to do it when you think the time is right. I believe I have been able to become in tune with my emotions about the breakup within the time given. In fact, it has been almost two months since I last saw her and we only spoke twice in the first month... not once in the second. Of course, I want to be very careful about the timing because I think that the relief period could possibly still be in effect. But then again, there is no good way of knowing. Maybe it is a risk, but I believe it is one that needs to be taken. All I want to do is send her a song via e-mail. I want to make her think about me. I thought that I would have heard from her by now and it is heart breaking that I haven't. I know that I may not get a response and I know what needs to be done if I do. I know that I must hold myself together and not appear to be desperate. I know that she still loves me. Frankly, I am fed up with this no contact bull***t. I agree with those who think there is a time to break NC. I also agree that people can lose sight of one another. I want to heal and hold my head up, but I want her back. These two things do not go together. The song I want to send is a sad song. It is very relatable and meaningful for our situation. It doesn't say waaah waaah I wan't you back but it does say I miss the things we had. It says that we are both praying that we are doing this right but its not the way it feels. It gives acceptance of loss but also encouragement of future reconciliation. Please, if you have an opinion, share it. Keep the bitterness to yourself. Thank you.
xUnknown Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 What's the song? just out of curiosity? I'm too am a firm believe in NC. But, I think for some reasons it can/should be broken. I'm not saying this is one I'd agree with, but you have to do what you think is best for you. So, if that means you think you should break NC (full well knowing the risks of doing so), then do it.
Strength in Healing Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 If she wants to be with you she will reach out to you. It's not up to you as the dumpee to come up with some magical sad song to sway her feelings. This is tough love, but damn you'll be glad if you listen to me. 2
jackinthebox1 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Depending on how long your relationship was i'd give it more time. 3 months sounds more like it would help her heal And whatever u do, do NOT send her a song. She will just see that as an attempt to get her back. If you do feel you want to open communication then take baby steps
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 She knows where to find you. The fact she hasn't reached out should speak volumes. She doesnt want you man. Dont go out and make it worse. 1
tikay00 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Honestly, only you can know for sure. From what I'm reading, it feels like you'd be devastated if you got no response, or if she gave you a "thanks" text. I'd say get in contact with her, once you're okay with the fact that she might not even respond, and if you're ready for nothing but a non passionate reply. How long was the relationship?
Author jbentley87 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 The relationship was a little over two years. I don't have 3 months to go no contact. If I am going to do it, it needs to happen probably within the next two weeks. The song is by The Head and The Heart - Winter Song
tikay00 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 The relationship was a little over two years. I don't have 3 months to go no contact. If I am going to do it, it needs to happen probably within the next two weeks. The song is by The Head and The Heart - Winter Song Dude, 2 years? You have plenty of time for NC. 3 mos. is nothing. Mine was 7 months. If your ex can move on that fast (dumpers usually already move on, but it hits them down the road), then they weren't the one to begin with.
Author jbentley87 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 Yeah but she graduates from college in December and it is possible (not confirmed) that she will be moving. If she moves, there won't be any hope whatsoever.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Yeah but she graduates from with college in December and it is possible (not confirmed) that she will be moving. moves, there won't be any hope whatsoever. Dude this sucks to hear, but if she wanted to be with you, she would be. She already checked out before the relationship ended. Again, she knows where to find you. You can't make someone care or want to be with you. Her not contacting you for this long of time says a lot of things. I know you want to play a perfect song or say the right thing that makes her realize she needs you....but this isnt some Nicolas Sparks movie. Sending a song says "Im desperate" which will be very apparent. You don't want to hear this, but there isnt anything you can do other than to make her resent you. 2
Leroy82 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 (edited) There is never a reason to break NC! Why do you need to? Unless, you have kids or you must contact her to pick something up. Other then that, you're just making excuses to break it, because deep down inside you want her back. But, you asked - I firmly believe when you are okay with your ex dating someone else, then you're ready. But as of now. I wouldn't break it. You're just setting yourself up for more pain and suffering. Good luck! It will get better Don't do it!!! It took me a year to get over my ex because I kept breaking NC. Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows. Edited November 5, 2014 by Leroy82
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