Swimmer916 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Hey guys, I've posted here a few times but I've always beaten around the bush and I have come to realizations. I fell in love with a beautiful girl 4 years ago. My first day of college. It was an absolute blessing that she fell for me. I still to this day don't know how she did. She was my world for the first two years. She went through some events and became moody and quiet. This lasted a few months and I felt neglected. I broke up with her two years ago and but we got back together because she was having a tough time. I distanced myself, because I gave her everything those first two years and she backed me away. I then at that point fell like I never experienced college and had "grass is greener syndrome". I never would of felt this way if she didn't act different for those few months. The long distance over the summer didn't help either. We broke up and I enjoyed my senior year. I fell out of love because she pushed me away. But that love came back when it was too late. Looking back though, I regret it. I really do regret thinking there was something better out there. It makes me sad everyday. My college pals scattered across the country. Leaving me with a handful of buddies. Family is far. I became so close to her family in college. When I was homesick I would go to her house. I threw away a lot, and at the time it didn't seem like it. I just need to remind myself that I didn't feel the same way about her as I did when i first met her. Now I'm in a big city. She is in the city over. She is a lot happier now. It hurts to see but I need to let go of my regret and I believe everything happens for a reason. MY REALIZATION: My entire life I was uncomfortable with who I was. I would follow the herd, just be a sheep in the crowd. Being alone now is giving me the opportunity to grow. Find out who I am and what I want. I'm doing things for me and not others. Last night I went to a movie alone, and you know what? It wasn't that bad. In college I skipped study abroad to stay with her and on the swim team. Ya know what? Next year I'm going to Japan for two weeks with a friend. It's hard and I want to say things will get better. I hope they do. For now, I'm learning about myself and improving what I can.
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