I'm tired of pretending like I'm just playing guys and that I never get hurt.

[isabellemarss]

To start off, I'm 18, almost 19. I was never the type to get into serious relationships. I date and flirt with guys just for fun. Nothing more. But sometimes I get hurt when a guy I'm flirting with or casually dating is attracted to or gets into a relationship with another girl. It's really unreasonable.

 

When I recently found out that my close friend and this guy I dated 7-8 months ago like each other now and are close to getting into a relationship, I felt sad and betrayed. Obviously, I have no right to be, because my friend knows that we weren't serious anyway, and we were only attracted to each other in the most shallow way. But it still stings. I don't think I could stand faking feeling happy for my friend and the guy, who I'm also friends with.

 

I act really cool but I'm just a pathetic, sensitive, lonely girl deep down. I hate to admit it to myself, but it's true. I could never be the kind of person I parade myself as. I'm too much of a girl - too prone to attachment and getting hurt in the process. I'm tired of being this way, but I think it's the only way to keep my head held high.

[Dontfindme]

Hey there, sorry to hear that you're feeling down.

I'm going to direct you to a quote by Brene Brown that I think is applicable here:

 

"Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path."

 

You should google her, it may help.

[Keenly]

So stop playing games and pretending to be some one your not. That's your solution right there.

 

Be honest with yourself.