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My Best Friend Gave up and Worn out

Christian15

By Christian15
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Christian15 New Member

Christian15

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My Girl Best Friend gave up on me. Firstly, Both of us Love each other and her parents know that but we are not dating because we talk about it that courtship will happen after graduation from collage and we should follow our church rules. I messed up a lot, I hurt her, I said REALLY MEAN words.



 

I said all that because of frustrations and jealousy. I've been giving her problems and I don't meet her expectations. She expect me to fix myself because I'm not attending the church and I've been doing bad things towards her which is Lust, But we never had Sex. I know I was wrong. This Past Weeks of not attending the church and at the same time not visiting her, I was busy doing project school. Now, She gave me the chance and tested me the last time I visit her, I screw up and I still fall into lust. I was guilty and so she is. I regret it. but I like to do it. Now, the following weeks I didn't visit her not talk to her, then one day I was shocked that one of my friends on FB,a Guy, said they're best friend, Its a surprise to me because I'm her one and only Guy best friend, So I rushed and Message her that I am losing my trust to her, I half heartedly Message her, I was wrong to take action like that. I hurt her even more.

 

that week was hell, We're like fighting everyday. I was wrong because I keep telling her my feelings in a really wrong way, I can't express it properly. and also I was that I was insensitive enough and let her in pain.. after all the fight and no forgiveness from her, but we're still talking to each other and I'm to cheer her up on FB, I also ask her if I could visit but she kept saying no because her parents were mad at me(Probably because I'm not visiting or I always leave late at their home). then ma beloved bestfriend snaps, She said Its Done and She's finished and she's tired and She already gave me all the chances she can give. She said it's too painful.. We faught for that last time Because I was Jealous of her other new bestfriend.I got Jealous bacause I know that her new best friend have a crush on her. Now She really hates me, She doesn't even wantto talk to me anymore, She kept shoving me away and when I visit her home She keep saying It's all gone. I know I was at fault, For the disrespect, for the mean words.I juse keep making mistakes.. Now She told me even I keep giving her efforts its gonna be nonsense. I want her. I love her so Much and I was Stupid. I really love her and she loves me so much. She gave me more than a best friend can give, She was like my wife.. I was her first kiss too..Now I really want her back even if I could start over again, its just been weeks since this happened. Her Parents hate mo so much and she does..

 

I made promises to her, I can't give her up.. Right now my plan is to apologize to her parents.. I have changed way too late and all my efforts was late, She was waiting for me to exert effort. I shouldn't have listened to her saying that I can't visit her. I regret all that.. Yesterday I wept at my Father and it was the first time I did that, My father called my mother from out of country, Now my Mother talked to her and because my mother is exaggerated in explaining things, My best friend thinks that I've done something from myself.. and the Worst thing my Best friend did is she swallowed 14 tablets of drugs as suicide.. She didn't die and I was grateful but it causes more pain to her.. I didn't know my mother messaged her, She already messaged her when I was able to talk to my mother.. I just keep making mistakes and now she's gone and all in pain. She doesn't want to talk She doesn't answer her phone. We are both broke.

 

She gave up on me and still I am not. I want to start over if possible. Even though she hates me or her parents hates me. Honestly, I have no hope. But I am still keep going. I love her so much.. I promised lots of things.. I can't let go.. She's the who told me that if I let go she will never going to forgive mo or comeback.. I love her a lot.. I want to make up with her.. I want to start over.. There are more information that are not included here. I just want her to forgive me.. Sorry for the bad english and thank you for this.. I really need someone to help me fix this..

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
preraph Established Member

preraph

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I know it's hard to see from where you're sitting, but you must still be pretty young. What I want to say is anyone who is still that influenced by her parents and whose parents control his or her dating life is a long way from being ready to marry or start a family. You really truly cannot plan a future with a girl when either one of you are still dependent on your parents and living at home or wherever they sent you, college or whatever. When teens mature, they "leave the nest." It's the natural thing to do. You can't force it. It will happen when she feels it must happen.

 

College will do both of you a world of good as you see that hardly anyone else is as strict religiously as the way you describe yourselves. God can be benevolent or he can be all-powerful, but he can't be both. You must believe God gave you and her a brain for you to use it and make your own decisions once you're mature and that he has bigger fish to fry than to micromanage your lives. But right now, her parents have her in a stranglehold because they're financing her college. I do hope they let her live away from home and that you do as well in college, because you both really need to get out from under the wing and see what the rest of the world is like.

 

If your bond was that strong, she won't stay gone. But at your age, you have to acknowledge that young people change in great leaps and bounds and often outgrow one another or grow in different directions. Please use this time to find completely new interests and activities because that will help you keep it in perspective.

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Christian15 New Member

Christian15

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Yes you are right and thank you for your opinion. Now, I've decided to go back to our church and My Spiritual Father told me that there's no too late and I could start over. Now, both of us serving to God but she's ignoring me and doesn't even look at me. I also received advice from my churchmates, they told me to tell my Spiritual father all what had happened to the both of us. I don't know how can I tell him all that because I am 100% sure that he will be disappointed to me because we did something unexpected, Lust, and she should be also aware of that. I don't how to tell her that I'm going to confess everything. I can catch her for all our sins and blame all of it to myself. Well, speaking of her parent's, knowing them they respect their daughter's decisions. I want to apologize to them, recover their trust. I dunno what to do honestly. I am just so in love with her, I know I will meet new people other than her, but if I give her up, I'm just not worthy for then. I know it's too early to prove it to them that I worthy. I'm just a student after all. Still, I want to prove it to her how much I love her and how long I've waited for to the right time. Now she hates me so bad. Her parents hates me so bad. Her Friends hates me so bad. But I believe that someday they can forgive me and someday I can be her Man. Someday everything will be fine. I will Pray for it and take actions for the given right time. Is my decision wrong? I'll try looking for hobbies, I'll make myself happy. Thank you again for the reply. I am so lost and I dunno what to do and where to start and I found this site and just posted my Problem here :)

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