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Anyone else still feel depressed after 1 year? (Updated)

LivingHalfAlive13

By LivingHalfAlive13
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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hellischrome Established Member

hellischrome

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Nothing. You are actually doing very well, being busy in all the things that eventually will lead you to forget her. It's about you and about time, some people are over with it in a few weeks, some take years.

 

My boyfriend's ex girlfriend still asks him if he is seeing someone after 2 years they broke up. :sick:

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LivingHalfAlive13 Member

LivingHalfAlive13

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Thanks for the response. Who broke up with who? Just feels like I should be over it by now but I am no way not....and it blows

erklat Established Member

erklat

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A year of healing is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

 

I still had panic attacks then, so you are doing great!

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LivingHalfAlive13 Member

LivingHalfAlive13

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Still seems like a long time still be grieving. What is the time frame it took you guys to stop grieving?

mtnbiker3000 Established Member

mtnbiker3000

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I realized that even though my ex was the vessel of my pain and suffering, it was really due to my own issues. And that can take a long time to work through.

 

I'm curious, what is the nature of your counseling??

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Light Breeze Established Member

Light Breeze

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I realized that even though my ex was the vessel of my pain and suffering, it was really due to my own issues. And that can take a long time to work through.

 

I'm curious, what is the nature of your counseling??

 

From what I've seen so far from other people, it was issues about themselves that kept them from moving on. One, of the most used reason was that they were afraid that they wouldn't find someone else like their former loves or just anybody at all.

 

Imo a positive outlook for the future really helps.

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LivingHalfAlive13 Member

LivingHalfAlive13

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That is one of my worries in all honesty. No one will live up to once was. Mtnbiker you are still around here? I was on here last year LALIT buy changed names cause of jobs I was going for...won't say the name but Vin......My counseling is talking. Exercises that don't do much, regardless how and when I try them.

 

BTW thanks for the replies

mtnbiker3000 Established Member

mtnbiker3000

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Well, I recommend you spend some time in counseling uncovering your own issues. The BU was only a symptom of bigger issues. From what I know about you from earlier, you have low self-esteem and low self-worth. If you can't begin to work through these issues, you can forget about ever being happy in a RS. It won't happen. Unless you hook up with someone even worse off then you are. And that will just be a huge mess!!!

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zip111 Member

zip111

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It'll be a year next month since my break up and I still cry about it and get angry/upset about it. It simply takes time to recover. I have been doing good for myself, however it still haunts me. I still see him sometimes and wonder how one minute I could be planning a future with someone and then, back to strangers. It's hard, but you can get through it

FortunateSon Established Member

FortunateSon

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I am a year and a half post BU after a 6 year relationship/engagement, I would say I am 95% healed. Despite the fact it was a unhealthy/toxic relationship, every once in awhile I feel a slight twinge of sadness or resentment about it. I have dated a lot but haven't gotten into a relationship since. I feel when I meet someone I want to be in a relationship it will have completed the healing.

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mtnbiker3000 Established Member

mtnbiker3000

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I am a year and a half post BU after a 6 year relationship/engagement, I would say I am 95% healed. Despite the fact it was a unhealthy/toxic relationship, every once in awhile I feel a slight twinge of sadness or resentment about it. I have dated a lot but haven't gotten into a relationship since. I feel when I meet someone I want to be in a relationship it will have completed the healing.

 

I feel the same way. I'm coming up on 2 years... Also been dating a lot, but nothing that has made we want to be in a relationship again.

 

I have a busy 6 months coming up with career and other personal goals, so I've decided to focus on that and forget about women for a while :p

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papertiger2 New Member

papertiger2

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I'm struggling after 10 months; however, things are looking up. Still bad, though.

 

I've been apart from my ex for ten months but seen him around town a lot. Always alone or with a guy friend. I've assumed for a long time that he is still single. I found out just last night that he has been in a serious relationship for eight months, since 2.5 months after our breakup. He genuinely did meet and start the relationship after. She and he just went out of the country together; it's a serious relationship. (note: those "around town" events I've seen him at are not the types that one would necessarily have a gf or bf with one, so it wasn't for sure that he was still single.)

 

I'm still in love with him.

 

That being said, I got this news last night in the best possible way. A friend of my ex's and I have been hanging out in the past two days and we're pretty much making out and being into each other. Yes, he is a friend of my ex, but it's not best friend territory. I'd say it's in "friend" territory, borderline good friend, but mostly just a friend. Regardless, the friend doesn't care and wants to pursue us anyway. And so do I.

 

It's still hard, though. I'm still in love with my ex and have to deal with knowing he's in a serious relationship and has been for eight months while i've been sad as hell. And I don't know for sure if anything is going to come out of my recent make-out sessions. I think we've bonded too, but still.

Edited by papertiger2
mtnbiker3000 Established Member

mtnbiker3000

Posted
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I'm struggling after 10 months; however, things are looking up. Still bad, though.

 

I've been apart from my ex for ten months but seen him around town a lot. Always alone or with a guy friend. I've assumed for a long time that he is still single. I found out just last night that he has been in a serious relationship for eight months, since 2.5 months after our breakup. He genuinely did meet and start the relationship after. She and he just went out of the country together; it's a serious relationship. (note: those "around town" events I've seen him at are not the types that one would necessarily have a gf or bf with one, so it wasn't for sure that he was still single.)

 

I'm still in love with him.

 

That being said, I got this news last night in the best possible way. A friend of my ex's and I have been hanging out in the past two days and we're pretty much making out and being into each other. Yes, he is a friend of my ex, but it's not best friend territory. I'd say it's in "friend" territory, borderline good friend, but mostly just a friend. Regardless, the friend doesn't care and wants to pursue us anyway. And so do I.

 

It's still hard, though. I'm still in love with my ex and have to deal with knowing he's in a serious relationship and has been for eight months while i've been sad as hell. And I don't know for sure if anything is going to come out of my recent make-out sessions. I think we've bonded too, but still.

 

Sounds like a powder keg and you're holding a lit match.

 

It's not fair to be with anyone if you know you're still in love with someone else. That just plain selfish...

 

Why not just work on yourself for a while? This isn't a competition with the ex.

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