Gloria25 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 And, this story on AOL today is another reason why I'm an Angelina Jolie fan!!! Angelina Jolie on marriage: 'It feels different' | AOL Features She says "marriage is different"...And, she's right. Dating, shacking up, etc. are not the same as putting a ring on that finger!!! Mind you, how long was she shacking up and playing house with Brad Pitt... I hope it works out though, some stats show that a lot of people who shacked up divorce shortly after marrying...and this is not a first marriage for either... Side Note: Yup, she's tatt'd, strong, accomplished and still sexy at 39!!! 1
d0nnivain Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Marriage is different. It's more than a piece of paper but it's hard to explain. 4
dichotomy Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Love is often not a feeling at all. That's what people don't get about marriage. When the feelings go, when their not in the mood, they struggle to be the spouse they hoped they would be, but that's when real love can kick in. I admire a number of things about her, she is strong, beautiful and talented actress. But frankly she is (or maybe was) very freaky/scary weird girl for a long while (blood, knives, drugs, sex etc.). 3
Author Gloria25 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Posted November 6, 2014 Love is often not a feeling at all. That's what people don't get about marriage. When the feelings go, when their not in the mood, they struggle to be the spouse they hoped they would be, but that's when real love can kick in. I admire a number of things about her, she is strong, beautiful and talented actress. But frankly she is (or maybe was) very freaky/scary weird girl for a long while (blood, knives, drugs, sex etc.). Yeah, you'd never think she'd "grow up"...lol. But, sometimes I wonder if she's on the "other" extreme - from freaky/scary to trying to save the world...
Mister Zen Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 Marriage is when you trade freedom for security. Yes.. it feels different.
Author Gloria25 Posted November 6, 2014 Author Posted November 6, 2014 Marriage is when you trade freedom for security. Yes.. it feels different. Well, wouldn't the feeling of "security" mean that you still enjoy your "freedom"? I think that when you're with the right person you wouldn't feel that you're giving up anything. Yes, in a marriage - or just an RL - I think I'd replace the word "security" with "compromise" to make the point I think you're trying to make. You trade in certain things you'd do alone (i.e. splurging on a suit) vs. what's good for the RL and/or marriage (i.e. paying the bills). I mean, I was listening to my podcast yesterday and this woman was mad cuz her husband was on a business trip, but told her he was going to go out with the guys to some NFL draft. Boy, she was mad and felt that something was "wrong" cuz they always do things "together". What a control freak. Yes, in a marriage two become one...but you both still need to have your separate interests/time (i.e. guy time playing cards, having beers, watching a game ....and girl time doing manicures, running to the mall). I mean, it pains me when women drag their SOs to go to the mall with them - get a gf to do that with already. The guys just often sit there sad or on their phones while the woman is trying on this or that.... Now, the NFL draft control freak is an example of how people lose their "freedom" in a marriage. Someone else posted here recently about his fear to give up 'his single behavior' (i.e. staying up late to watch TV, ice cream for dinner) and IMO, I feel where he's coming from. Seems like when you get married, you give up some of that - especially if you have a wife that turns into "mommy". I mean, I'm not married and I give up a lot of my single behavior (i.e. sleeping in, masturbating all day, walking around naked, having cereal for lunch) cuz mom's here...
xxoo Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 Marriage is how we formally create family in our society. It's meaningful. Family requires all sorts of compromise. I wouldn't have it any other way. Having a supporting, loving, joyful family and a lifetime of cherished moments and memories is a huge return on the investment of my freedom.
carhill Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 TBH, when I woke up the next morning to the sun and waves crashing outside (we got married at a beachfront house we rented in Hawaii), I didn't really feel any different than I had the day prior. Sure, I had a gold band on my finger but I had been committed a long time ago so the official part wasn't a quantum leap, for me anyway. We didn't live together before being married and I didn't really find any shock in that either. We simply packed all the stuff up at my now exW's condo and moved it to my country place and started living as a married couple. Perhaps that's relevant to my personality; perhaps relevant to getting married as an older person. IDK. In any event, nothing earth-shattering here. In Angelina's and Brad's case, they've been together for years and have been raising children together and are older (about the same age we were). So, her experience of feeling is evidently quite different than my own. Part of being human I guess.
central Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 When we got married (after living together for many years), there was initially a slight but intangible difference in how we felt. That faded fairly quickly, and now there is really no difference in the before and after in terms of how we feel or act towards each other. However, there is a difference because there is a formal, factual, legal contract in place that would require a formal, legal process to undo.
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