I need to let 2 guys down easy...one is already making plans to move to my city.

[blahblahblacksheep]

Ok so I met three guys all around the same time. One at the end of September and two the beginning of October.

 

One started online. He lives in California and I live in Texas. We exchanged emails, then texts and then started talking on the phone. This went on for a month. I wasn't dating anyone at the time so I had time for all that. We were never a couple or anything. He took a three week roadtrip through the southwest visiting friends and he stopped and saw me, and ended up extending his trip to hang out with me longer. We've kept up talking and texting, but less so bc I started dating those other two guys. Never have we had any talk about being exclusive or not dating other people or what we are or what we could be. He is a freelance designer and can work from anywhere and in January he plans to move to the city I live in. He never discussed it with me, he never asked me if I thought it'd be a good idea or not. All I told him was make sure he wasn't doing it because of me. He said he wasn't. That he was doing it because he really enjoyed my city and the cost of living is cheaper. I didn't know how serious he was but today he told me he put in his notice with his apartment last week!!!!

 

The second guy is the best friend of one on my friend's husbands. If we had started dating when I wasn't dating anyone else things would have had a better chance of working out. He is a nice guy, very much a gentleman, taking things verrrrry slowly (annoyingly slow) and he keeps buying me things even though I told him not to. He's sent me flowers, bought me clothes etc. I don't think he's ever had a girlfriend and is therefore trying to do everything he can think of to win me over. He is 31, btw. He's verrrrry shy. When he dropped me off after a date on Saturday he told me he likes me a lot to which I replied "thank you". Cringe. We've had about 4 dates. Maybe 5. Took him 3 dates just to hold my hand.

 

The third I just have this great connection with and he treats me very well. I've seen him about 12 times in 3 or 4 weeks and we are going to spend our first weekend together this weekend. He lives in my city Monday-Thursday and in a different city a few hours away on the weekends due to his job. Anyways, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and only then did I tell him about the other guys I was dating. He wanted to be exclusive, I like him a lot (the most of all 3) and so I accepted.

 

So what do I need to say to these other guys? And I suppose I'll need to do it over the phone too? I've never had to do this before. Usually someone will ask me to be their gf and if I'm not interested I'll say no thank you and then he goes away or else he or I will just fizzle out.

[Redhead14]

Ok so I met three guys all around the same time. One at the end of September and two the beginning of October.

 

One started online. He lives in California and I live in Texas. We exchanged emails, then texts and then started talking on the phone. This went on for a month. I wasn't dating anyone at the time so I had time for all that. We were never a couple or anything. He took a three week roadtrip through the southwest visiting friends and he stopped and saw me, and ended up extending his trip to hang out with me longer. We've kept up talking and texting, but less so bc I started dating those other two guys. Never have we had any talk about being exclusive or not dating other people or what we are or what we could be. He is a freelance designer and can work from anywhere and in January he plans to move to the city I live in. He never discussed it with me, he never asked me if I thought it'd be a good idea or not. All I told him was make sure he wasn't doing it because of me. He said he wasn't. That he was doing it because he really enjoyed my city and the cost of living is cheaper. I didn't know how serious he was but today he told me he put in his notice with his apartment last week!!!!

 

The second guy is the best friend of one on my friend's husbands. If we had started dating when I wasn't dating anyone else things would have had a better chance of working out. He is a nice guy, very much a gentleman, taking things verrrrry slowly (annoyingly slow) and he keeps buying me things even though I told him not to. He's sent me flowers, bought me clothes etc. I don't think he's ever had a girlfriend and is therefore trying to do everything he can think of to win me over. He is 31, btw. He's verrrrry shy. When he dropped me off after a date on Saturday he told me he likes me a lot to which I replied "thank you". Cringe. We've had about 4 dates. Maybe 5. Took him 3 dates just to hold my hand.

 

The third I just have this great connection with and he treats me very well. I've seen him about 12 times in 3 or 4 weeks and we are going to spend our first weekend together this weekend. He lives in my city Monday-Thursday and in a different city a few hours away on the weekends due to his job. Anyways, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and only then did I tell him about the other guys I was dating. He wanted to be exclusive, I like him a lot (the most of all 3) and so I accepted.

 

So what do I need to say to these other guys? And I suppose I'll need to do it over the phone too? I've never had to do this before. Usually someone will ask me to be their gf and if I'm not interested I'll say no thank you and then he goes away or else he or I will just fizzle out.

 

You simply say, I've enjoyed the time I've spent with you very much. However, I've been dating someone on a regular basis now and the relationship is progressing to the point where it would be inappropriate for me to date you anymore. Wish him all the best for his future. Say this to both of the "other" two. And, enjoy guy #3.

[d0nnivain]

Since you already told the guy who is moving not to move because of you, there is nothing else to say. Next time you talk to him casually mention you have a BF now.

 

As for guy # 2, you need to be clear with him. Thank him for the time you spent together but that you just don't click. Wish him well. Tell him you hope that the two of you can still be civil for the sake of your mutual friends. Do not say you want to be friends. You don't. You simply don't want to cause drama or pull others into it.

 

I'd tell your friend that you dumped him just so her & her husband don't try to schedule a double date & so they can help him get over you.

[rester]

Since you already told the guy who is moving not to move because of you, there is nothing else to say. Next time you talk to him casually mention you have a BF now.

 

As for guy # 2, you need to be clear with him. Thank him for the time you spent together but that you just don't click. Wish him well. Tell him you hope that the two of you can still be civil for the sake of your mutual friends. Do not say you want to be friends. You don't. You simply don't want to cause drama or pull others into it.

 

I'd tell your friend that you dumped him just so her & her husband don't try to schedule a double date & so they can help him get over you.

 

She needs to be clear with both of them, especially the one moving. Telling him not to move because of her is not clear. He may be moving with the expectation of continuing to date her to see where things go. If she's not interested in moving forward with him anymore, she needs to let him know that BEFORE he moves. Maybe he moves to her city anyway, but it's only fair that he knows that she will not be dating him anymore.

[Assasda]

Sounds like the first guy is the only real quality guy.

 

Just call the other 2 and tell them that its not gonna work out.

Those last 2 guys sound so sad

[somecamel]

When the guy you really like goes away for the weekend, you sure it's for work and not to see his wife and kids?