drewdude Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Just in need of a little advice. Last Wednesday I went out with a nice, pretty looking gal. Was talking to her for a few weeks on OKCupid prior to meeting her. I picked her up and took her to a really classy bar. We connected really well, no silent/awkward moments, talking all throughout the date and had a lot in common. At the end of the date, I was ready to take her home, but she insisted we hang out longer and grab a bite to eat. Also, I don't know if it means anything, but I noticed she was playing with her hair often as we were talking. We talked in the car for a bit while we were finishing up our take out dinner in front of where she lives. It was getting late, so we said our goodbyes, she gave me a hug and went inside. I landed up texting her the following night. Telling her I had a good time meeting her. She said the same and also said I was "Great Company" (I don't know how to decipher that). We landed up texting back and forth till friday night. With her texting me last but wasn't a question form of text. I know she works weekends and goes to class throughout the week. She is also an inch taller than me but she knew of my height and still wanted to go out. So I am not sure if thats a factor. I landed up going ghost to see if I can get some sort of response but I haven't heard anything as of yet. Any answers on what I should do next? Is it too soon to say she lost interest already and no chance for a second date? Thanks. I appreciate any help.
mammasita Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Is that a typo? You keep "landing" Anyway, why are you playing games by "landed up going ghost". Talk to her and ask her out again if you're interested. If she doesn't respond or gives you the run around, you have your answer.
Standard-Fare Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Uh, you never asked her out on a second date. If you're interested in her, you should. Simple as that. 2
Redhead14 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Ghosting? You are playing games instead of being upfront and honest. If you play games, you will get played and no one knows the rules because they keep changing.
clia Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Well, you should've asked her out on a second date. As it is, it's now already Tuesday and you know she works all weekend. Better get on that today to ask her out for Thursday. You are losing momentum...
Author drewdude Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 Thanks for the responses. This is probably the only place I get something positive. Most of my friends said to leave it be because it sounds like I am nexted or friendxoned. Hence the ghosting. To be fair though, don't you think she would have at least made some contact in the past few days?
Redhead14 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Thanks for the responses. This is probably the only place I get something positive. Most of my friends said to leave it be because it sounds like I am nexted or friendxoned. Hence the ghosting. To be fair though, don't you think she would have at least made some contact in the past few days? No, not necessarily. You have no idea what's going on in her life or her head. Call her, ask her out. If she says yes, great. If she says, no, ask someone else out. 1
J21 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 (edited) Did you expect her to ask you out? You know any decent looking girls get messaged a million times on OKC right? Are you ghosting to test her or something? It was 1 date, what do you think you're entitled to? Daily messages back and forth? She doesn't owe you anything. Go out and ask her out again and stop "testing" her. Edited November 4, 2014 by J21
Andy_K Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 When you have a good first date, you start making plans for the second date the next day. Or before the end of the first date if it went well enough! You don't need to be at all pushy, but if you don't make things happen, you will lose out to guys who will. Don't leave her guessing, as most girls won't wait very long before deciding you weren't that interested, and finding new prospects. And she was the last one to text too? Really don't know what you're playing at here...
Author drewdude Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 It wasn't a question text. More of just a simple reply from her. When she told me "You're great company" That kind of threw me off. I guess I'll give it a go and text her later.
Redhead14 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 It wasn't a question text. More of just a simple reply from her. When she told me "You're great company" That kind of threw me off. I guess I'll give it a go and text her later. Why would that throw you off? There isn't anything negative about it. Stop reading things into things. What did you want her to say? Hey, I love you and want to have your babies?
Mrin Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 I am in a foodie mood today so here goes: food version of OP's story. So I went out to the BBQ joint. It was sooooo good. I ate a plate of smoked babyback ribs. They were amazing. I was getting ready to pay and the waitress was like want more? They're all you can eat. I was like hells ya brah! So I ate some more. And now I am sitting here with an empty plate. When the waitress walks by I look at my phone and don't make contact with her. One time it looked like she was coming to the table so I went to the restroom. Another time I faked a phone call. Why won't they bring me more ribs?!? Wtf!!! 1
smackie9 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 You only went out on one date....there isn't that many women that would get all wet to start sexting. Get off you ass and ask for another date. If she gives you exuces, ask someone else out for a date.
Mascara Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Well when I was doing OLD, if I went on a first date and the guy just kept texting me afterwards without ever asking for a second, I lost interest too.
Redhead14 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Why would that throw you off? There isn't anything negative about it. Stop reading things into things. What did you want her to say? Hey, I love you and want to have your babies? And, think about this . . . she may be just tempering her enthusiasm so as not to come across as overly enthusiastic. How would you have felt if she didn't do that or said something a little over the top? You would have been here asking us how to handle that.
ScreaminEagle Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Playing the chasing or ghosting game will only leave you in the dirt. I think you are looking to much into her "Great Company" comment. There is absolutely nothing negative about that, or indication that you were friend zoned. Think about it, she allowed you to pick her up, in the world of online dating that is a big security no no, no offense but height for women is a deal breaker, and after meeting you, she didn't want the date to end, she wanted to spend more time with her. Stop being so passive aggressive and ask her out, she cannot read your mind. If you want something, go get it, if you don't, she will find another guy.
Author drewdude Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 Playing the chasing or ghosting game will only leave you in the dirt. I think you are looking to much into her "Great Company" comment. There is absolutely nothing negative about that, or indication that you were friend zoned. Think about it, she allowed you to pick her up, in the world of online dating that is a big security no no, no offense but height for women is a deal breaker, and after meeting you, she didn't want the date to end, she wanted to spend more time with her. Stop being so passive aggressive and ask her out, she cannot read your mind. If you want something, go get it, if you don't, she will find another guy. True. I got to stop reading into things. I know height is a big deal breaker as well, I am 5'7 and shes 5'8. I hope this isn't the case but I will ask her out on another and see what happens. Thanks for the advice everybody.
GG3 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 I am in a foodie mood today so here goes: food version of OP's story. So I went out to the BBQ joint. It was sooooo good. I ate a plate of smoked babyback ribs. They were amazing. I was getting ready to pay and the waitress was like want more? They're all you can eat. I was like hells ya brah! So I ate some more. And now I am sitting here with an empty plate. When the waitress walks by I look at my phone and don't make contact with her. One time it looked like she was coming to the table so I went to the restroom. Another time I faked a phone call. Why won't they bring me more ribs?!? Wtf!!! Awesome analogy!!
Tayken Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 (edited) True. I got to stop reading into things. I know height is a big deal breaker as well, I am 5'7 and shes 5'8. I hope this isn't the case but I will ask her out on another and see what happens. Thanks for the advice everybody. A lot of women who are decent inside and out, don't usually have a problem with the height thing, as long as it's not a lot. It's the shallow types (what would my friends think / can't post this on Facebook) that aren't even all that, that seem to have issues with it. They lack self confidence, and are more likely to be followers than leaders of their pack. I have dates at least two women in their 40s that slightly edged me, and the first thing they told me was....."I hope the height thing doesn't bother you"? To which I answered absolutely NOT. Both were sexy as h3ll, smart, independent, spoilt me but had some family (their parents) emotional stuff that got in the way. Edited November 5, 2014 by Tayken
Recommended Posts