chillsup123 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 I've never been in an actual relationship and she hasn't either. She's still in HS and I'm not. I'm not letting my feelings get too deep, but I'm a bit confused. We've been going out for a bit now, and we have a fun time every time. I told her how I feel and she didn't really say she likes me back. All she said was she enjoys spending time with me. We don't really contact each other in between dates. We make plans and that's that. We are pretty comfortable with each other in person. We hold hands and hug and it almost feels as if we're already in a relationship. Most of the time we are out until 1-2 AM. One night we were driving home from an event at like 4 AM and she actually took my hand in the car to hold it. Was pretty cute. That night she initiated the kiss which was a bit surprising. Next time we went out I straight up asked her what are we. At first she didn't really answer my question so I asked her again. Are we friends or something more than friends? She said... I guess we're dating. She said she is a confusing person and it's hard for her to like somebody. She said she doesn't want to rush it. Just go with the flow. That night I kissed her good night. That was that. I'm still confused. Not sure if it's supposed to be like this or not... Advice would be helpful.
Redhead14 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 I've never been in an actual relationship and she hasn't either. She's still in HS and I'm not. I'm not letting my feelings get too deep, but I'm a bit confused. We've been going out for a bit now, and we have a fun time every time. I told her how I feel and she didn't really say she likes me back. All she said was she enjoys spending time with me. We don't really contact each other in between dates. We make plans and that's that. We are pretty comfortable with each other in person. We hold hands and hug and it almost feels as if we're already in a relationship. Most of the time we are out until 1-2 AM. One night we were driving home from an event at like 4 AM and she actually took my hand in the car to hold it. Was pretty cute. That night she initiated the kiss which was a bit surprising. Next time we went out I straight up asked her what are we. At first she didn't really answer my question so I asked her again. Are we friends or something more than friends? She said... I guess we're dating. She said she is a confusing person and it's hard for her to like somebody. She said she doesn't want to rush it. Just go with the flow. That night I kissed her good night. That was that. I'm still confused. Not sure if it's supposed to be like this or not... Advice would be helpful. Yes, this is the way it's supposed to go. One day at a time in the very beginning. As you two become closer, the rest will fall into place. You will call her more often, she will respond in a balanced way.
smackie9 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 This is what it's like to date someone that has no experience. Give her a break this is all very new, and well probably a little scary for her. Just stop questioning everything and enjoy this wonderful experience you are sharing with her.
Author chillsup123 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 Cool, thanks guys. Apparently the slower you are with woman the better it is towards the end? I'll just go with the flow and let things fall into place then.
d0nnivain Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 I think it's an OK pace. Labels can scare young girls in their 1st relationship. I'm a pretty confident woman but the 1st boy who called me his GF, well I broke up with him for that 'unpardonable sin." I really couldn't handle the label. I would add some contact between dates & I'm not sure her parents appreciated you keeping their high school aged daughter out until 4 a.m but that's another topic.
Author chillsup123 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 (edited) I think it's an OK pace. Labels can scare young girls in their 1st relationship. I'm a pretty confident woman but the 1st boy who called me his GF, well I broke up with him for that 'unpardonable sin." I really couldn't handle the label. I would add some contact between dates & I'm not sure her parents appreciated you keeping their high school aged daughter out until 4 a.m but that's another topic. Oh trust me... her parents could care less. Mainly because our families are friends. Her parents trust me and know who I am. If it was another guy that was taking her out until that time... they probably would be angry and worried. I dislike texting because It kind of ruins it when meeting up with them for some reason. I learned from my experience about texting girls a lot and it never worked out. Plus she takes hours and hours to text back anyways. Edited November 4, 2014 by chillsup123
d0nnivain Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 So don't text . . . at least not long things. Hey, I'm thinking about you. Or Have a nice day don't require a response. Call her on the phone & talk even if it's just for 15 minutes.
Author chillsup123 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 (edited) So don't text . . . at least not long things. Hey, I'm thinking about you. Or Have a nice day don't require a response. Call her on the phone & talk even if it's just for 15 minutes. Meh that seems clingy to me. I don't know. I might not be that kind of guy lol. If we actually have a relationship then I probably will be more comfortable doing those things. But right now it seems fragile. I'll just do what I'm doing now for some time and see where things go. Maybe up the physical contact a bit, but still try to take things slow and show her that I have patience. We have zero drama so it's pretty cool. I know a couple friends who rush into these things and get all clingy and they just ruin everything. At the stage I'm at... I'm ready to settle down. But i can see that she wants to do her own thing still but at the same time spend time with me. I can wait. Edited November 4, 2014 by chillsup123
d0nnivain Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 there's a difference between being clingy & being attentive. If you want her to feel more secure & therefore progress with your relationship you have to give her something. I am not suggesting daily contact but some touch point in between seeing her.
Assasda Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 OP you arnt supposed to ask her anything. It is needy Kills the attraction too. Its because you are so insecure you feel the need to lock her down
Author chillsup123 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 OP you arnt supposed to ask her anything. It is needy Kills the attraction too. Its because you are so insecure you feel the need to lock her down Not sure how I'm insecure from asking a simple question to define the relationship. I got my answer and now we both know what we are. There is nothing wrong with what I did. I've been known to rush things, and from experience I learned from my mistakes. Now i know to slow down and give it time. I wasn't trying to lock her down. She can do whatever she wants as long as shes honest with me. That's all I really ask. I got patience. 1
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