Swimmer916 Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 (edited) Hi guys, I lost so much more than my soulmate, I lost the path I set up for myself. We met when we were 18 our freshman year of college. At first I wasn't looking for "love" but damn did this girl steal my heart. Iv'e never felt so comfortable around someone as I did her. I told myself I would marry this girl. We had our rough times. I was far away from home and met all of her family and friends. I had become a part of the family and it felt so right. My life just seemed bland compared to this feeling. She made me a better person. Made me experience life in a way I hadn't before. We split our senior year because we argued a little too much. She drove me away for a little and I convinced myself the grass was greener. We then rekindled before graduation but it was too late. We wanted to branch out and have fun our senior year. Well, we both did. She has moved on with a new BF. We still live in the same city. My friends are scattered across the country and all of her friends live together and are neighbors. They all grew up in the same area so they will all be stationed there and have each other forever. They go on big group trips and activities. I can't do that anymore and it makes me so depressed. I wanted a family with her. I wanted to be part of her life. I wanted to share time with her. She made me a better person. She added that spark to my life. I regret our decision so much. For 6 months now I wake up everday trying to look forward to something. I'm in this city feeling lonely and upset. She was a beautiful girl and to be honest was way out of my league. I tried to go on a date to get over her. I can't even begin to think of someone else. My parents and sister are getting fed up with my depression. They think its just a heartbreak. It's more than that. It's the loss of a soulmate, friends, and feeling and sense of family I had with all her relatives. I can't even imagine being here anymore. I don't know where I belong. I'm just going with the flow. I don't think I will find someone who I felt so connected too and whose family I will love as much. We shared so many special memories in college. It hurts. 6 months and it is still just as bad. I just want to see a light at the end of the tunnel Edited November 4, 2014 by Swimmer916
d0nnivain Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 First realize that she was not your soulmate. She was your college GF. Your life is not over because she is no longer part of it. Even though they are all over the country, talk to your friends. Arrange to meet up if that's possible. Work to build a new network of friends where you are now. Get some counseling if you don't feel like you are making progress. You were in this relationship for four years. You aren't going to get over the heartbreak in 4 minutes.
Author Swimmer916 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 I guess it's just harder because she was my best friend in college. We went through everything together. I always had insecurities in my teenage days. When I was with her I was so confident. She was sought after by a lot of guys in school. It gave me such a lift because I was so amazed someone like her could be with a guy like me. I regret our decisions and I want to move on I really do. It pains me to think she's been with multiple guys and now has a boyfriend. I hope I can find someone that I connect with like her and someone that makes me feel just as good.
Author Swimmer916 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 I realized that I can't base my happiness off her and keep comparing my life to her. I'm trying to better myself and put myself out in more social situations. For example, In college I never went study abroad due to committements from the swim team and because I didn't want to leave her. A friend and I are going to Japan next summer for two weeks. I believe if I was still with her I would of passed on this opportunity. As hard as it is to see her doing some many activities with her and her new bf and their large group of friends I need to push on
d0nnivain Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Since you are a swimmer, where are your teammates? Can you socialize with them? If not, join a Y or other swim organization to meet new people
Author Swimmer916 Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 We swam together. My guy teammates are off and about. All the other mutual swimmers are living with her. Including one of my childhood friends. She is how we met :/
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