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when the ex starts seeing somebody else


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Posted

Even though I have started dating somebody else who I genuinely like and am looking forward to seeing where things go. It's such a bitter pill to swallow when you see your ex has started seeing somebody else.

 

 

I mean it hurt - but i think i was expecting it to happen so I had already made peace with it before hand.

 

I don't want this person back by any means, but we had alot of history together so I suppose its natural to be hurt. 2 months Post Break up. I told him that i wanted to go separate ways after we were so hot and cold.

 

Anybody had a similar situation? I'm just going to continue with full NC and no way am i looking again.

Posted

Mine is just a little more in my face but similar. Broke up about 5 weeks ago. She left me in a house we built together on her land. She moved in with a freind but slept with another guy she had been with in the past 6 days later. I slept with a freind of a freind visiting town only 5 days later. I wouldn't have told her but she was in the house on day 7 gathering things and found some of the girl I was withs hair stuff.

 

She on the other hand has been carrying on with this guy multiple times a week, on the single most traveled road in our area, just (inadvertently im sure) jamming it down my throat. We got dragged into talking two days ago, starting about money and stuff, and ended up with a couple hours of BS but she was so quick to try to minimize the roll of this new guy even thought is constantly in my face, as it was just yesterday when she cut it for lunch to stop there.

 

After she tried to minimize it I mistakinly felt a lot better about it, but just yesterday she stormed through the local coffeshop with all of our old mutual freinds (my current freinds), saying nothing, just buying some stuff and hurrying to this guys house down the road, which I had to immidiately drive by on my way back to work. So in a way it was good because all the false hope she was trying to give me onsunday was able to be cleansed away yesterday.

 

The day time was pretty painful, but when I went home from work I tried sit quiet and to go the other way. To be accepting, forgiving, to take responsibility for what I did and to let go of the idea of possssing her. It still hurts today but I think I'm on the right track.

Posted

I'm 1 month out. But at 2 months I still feel like I would be hurt. Hell, even 3 or 4 months. I think thats just how it is. We give our heart to someone. Even though they are gone, it hurts to see them giving what they gave to us, to someone else. Until you're at the part of indifference, I think it will hurt regardless. Stay strong.

Posted

My ex is dating a guy she said she never had ANY romantic interest in when I posed the question bc she was hanging out with him ... oddly more than she should've.

 

She even lied about going dancing with him.

 

I lost all respect for her. Every accusation she ever made against me, to me, went out the window when I found this out.

 

I am moving on.

 

I'm only 3 weeks out of this 4 year relationship.

 

Keep strong, OP. Keep Strong. You are loved.

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Posted

A lot of us are in a similar situation.

The guy I was with is now with someone else too (which puts the puzzle pieces together on why he went cold so quickly while we were together).

 

It's a lot of things. You're ego is hurt, it's a shock, it seems surreal; kind of like you're in an awful dream you can't wake up from. You're angry, then sad, then angry again.

 

It's 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Some days I feel like it's okay, that I will be alright without him. I lived before him, I'll live after him. But we all know some people touch our lives in a way that makes it excruciating to let them go.

 

It's been about 2 weeks since I've know about the girl. We've been off for a month. When I found out it was like an "aha" moment. That rush of anxiety, like you want to reach out and fix it because this isn't okay.

 

But you can't do that and expect anything good to come from it.

 

2 weeks later it's still rough. I know I will get through this, I've done it before, I can do it again. Doesn't make it any easier.

I agree with the NC rule, that includes just looking at pictures of them and hearing about them from friends. Do everything you can to avoid knowing their life. It will start to hurt less. But it's a back and forth process until you're finally indifferent and have moved on.

 

You can't see it now, but there's someone else you're going to fall for. And when you do, you're going to thank your lucky stars that it ended with this one.

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Posted

Yeah it's a toughie aye. I'm glad that I'm not in a position where I have to see him. It would be unlikely for us to run into eachother.

 

He feels like such a stranger now! I was tempted to message him but that would do no good I would just seem like the annoying ex gf! I have way too much pride for that haha.

 

I'm not suffering a huge amount anymore - I haven't cried for like agessss.

 

That part of my life is over and i'm glad I got to experience the things I did with him. I look forward to being indifferent. Patience and will power not to check + I have met a really great guy who i'm taking things very slowly with and I want to see where things go with that.

Posted

First mistake, checking them on social media. Big no no. Lesson learned, I hope. Of course it sucks but it'll suck less and less. It's likely you had a history with someone before your ex too but now...do you think about it in a sad painful way? Likely not. My point is, you will reach the point of indifference about your ex eventually.

Posted

I agree with the NC rule, that includes just looking at pictures of them and hearing about them from friends. Do everything you can to avoid knowing their life. It will start to hurt less. But it's a back and forth process until you're finally indifferent and have moved on.

 

Anyone got any advice for being forced to see you ex's car at the new bang buddies house multiple times a week. I used alternate between dreading it a sick craving to know, but I've been coaching myself to try to be more tolerant. Accept it could be there, it could not, but it has nothing to do with me and the more I let it affect me the worse I am. That's what I'm moving towards. I still curse where this guy lives practically every day though.

Posted
Anyone got any advice for being forced to see you ex's car at the new bang buddies house multiple times a week. I used alternate between dreading it a sick craving to know, but I've been coaching myself to try to be more tolerant. Accept it could be there, it could not, but it has nothing to do with me and the more I let it affect me the worse I am. That's what I'm moving towards. I still curse where this guy lives practically every day though.

 

 

Put his f-cking windscreesn through and pour ketchup all over his paint work it will really f-ck it up, especially Heinz ketchup it is known in the trade for doing the most damage, I know this cos a good mate of mine is a car sprayer

Posted

It's definitely not easy to see someone you care/cared about move on to something new. When I found out my ex had a new gf, it made me sick. Now, I just really try not to think about it, and just hope karma comes back on him.

 

Stick with full NC. It's hard, and may get harder with the holiday season coming up, but it's still the best option. Keep looking forward, and eventually you'll sort of forget about them.

Posted
Put his f-cking windscreesn through and pour ketchup all over his paint work it will really f-ck it up, especially Heinz ketchup it is known in the trade for doing the most damage, I know this cos a good mate of mine is a car sprayer

 

Lol. Just not where I'm at now but I had my moments like that in my head. I've been meditating in free time a good amount the last two days and it's been doing me good. I'm getting better at giving my mind time to air it's grievances with no self judgments, just letting it spin wild. Finding my mind gets tired of it after a little while and I get to a more peaceful and self centered place. I used to do the same thing with all the wild boys at after school daycare where I worked once; just take em out and let em go wild, soccer 11 boys vs me. The energy can fizzle out for a bit and let you get back to mundane life stuff which feels pretty good right after you lift some load off.

Posted
First mistake, checking them on social media. Big no no. Lesson learned, I hope. Of course it sucks but it'll suck less and less. It's likely you had a history with someone before your ex too but now...do you think about it in a sad painful way? Likely not. My point is, you will reach the point of indifference about your ex eventually.

 

I had a history with a couple of other people...but...I never felt like this when I broke up.

 

Nothing like this...

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