most_distant_galaxy Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 Try dating women and then break up with them. "Oh look, my car got keyed and they even wrote something". I swear, why do they have to abuse my car!!!!???? But I have learned! People are like, "why are you putting that heavy duty canvas car cover on your car? The weather is beautiful! And whats with all the straps locking it in place?" "I'm waiting for the storm to pass" someone is a heartbreaker! This seems like an over simplistic view. It also depends on your perspective. When men (people) act up its because they actually give a crap. People seem to forget that. We always like the calm, even keeled person, but we often forget they are calm because they don't give a crap enough to get worked up. ...Said mr Zen Its different to act up by pleading or getting angry the moment of the breakup, and its different to part amicably and then find out that your ex is badmouthing you to mutual friends and acquaintances.
Mister Zen Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 ...Said mr Zen Its different to act up by pleading or getting angry the moment of the breakup, and its different to part amicably and then find out that your ex is badmouthing you to mutual friends and acquaintances. Anyone you upset is likely to badmouth you later. That shouldn't surprise anyone nore should it be assumed such a person is a jerk because of it. Some people in this world will dislike you for whatever reason and they will be vocal about it. Doesn't make them a jerk.
most_distant_galaxy Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 @mr Zen: I dont mind someone being vocal to me but Im very offended by indirect and sneaky hostility. Especially when I didnt do something disrespectful as a reason for the breakup. @enigma32: I disagree. Not everyone badmouths behind peoples backs when they are upset. Id rather someone to be upfront about what they think than doing this sneaky thing. The first type of jerk cares, the second one, no, I dont think so.
Author Toodaloo Posted November 6, 2014 Author Posted November 6, 2014 I don't know. Just seems to be a lot of resentment and bitterness for no reason. Why don't we let it go? My ex was an absolute a-hole. When people find out what he did their reaction is to just stand with their mouth open in shock. But I can't be bothered to re-visit it all the time and go over and over and over... Gah - its dull. He had good points. Why not concentrate on those a bit rather than get into a never ending bundle of fury? Oh dear Imported... Is it a nice car? Perhaps you should drive a heap of junk then they wouldn't bother... You are aware that they can still wire a dead fish to your exhaust so you smell as you drive around aren't you??? Perhaps it would have been less painful for you to just let her kick you in the balls and be done with it... Sorry I digress...
Frank2thepoint Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 I don't know. Just seems to be a lot of resentment and bitterness for no reason. Why don't we let it go? Because of emotional investment. Time and energy is wasted, and the person feels powerless that the other person didn't even fully buy in to the relationship. So the anger isn't just directed at the person that broke your heart, but at yourself as well because you feel you may not have done enough or too much. 1
Author Toodaloo Posted November 6, 2014 Author Posted November 6, 2014 Because of emotional investment. Time and energy is wasted, and the person feels powerless that the other person didn't even fully buy in to the relationship. So the anger isn't just directed at the person that broke your heart, but at yourself as well because you feel you may not have done enough or too much. But if you view it as the relationship didn't work but you did gain new friends, experiences etc then its not so much of a "loss" is it? I understand exactly what you are saying but it just seems like a very counter productive way of looking at things.
Lady2163 Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 I think itmismharder nowadays to make a connection, to get people to care about you and love you. It is too easy to have the "always,mme first" attitude. I've started having a background check on men I consider going forward with. I keep running into men up to their eyeballs in debt. I keep running into men who seem to think after 3 or 4 dates, they can ask me for money. I am a bit of a cynic and just dont agree that 99% of the population are good and decent people.
autumnnight Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 I read here a lot before joining and this is what I saw especially after I started kind of keeping track of it. There is a wider variety of women who seem to "bash" men, but they don't do it as often. There are just a handful of men who bash women but they do it everywhere on LS. Even their views on things like cheating are very different depending on if it is a man or woman. More women whine but not as often. Less men whine but the ones who do whine everywhere. 1
Author Toodaloo Posted November 6, 2014 Author Posted November 6, 2014 I read here a lot before joining and this is what I saw especially after I started kind of keeping track of it. There is a wider variety of women who seem to "bash" men, but they don't do it as often. There are just a handful of men who bash women but they do it everywhere on LS. Even their views on things like cheating are very different depending on if it is a man or woman. More women whine but not as often. Less men whine but the ones who do whine everywhere. Could be skewed perspectives then... Would make sense. Lady2163 - really? has it got that bad?
hotpotato Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 I think itmismharder nowadays to make a connection, to get people to care about you and love you. It is too easy to have the "always,mme first" attitude. I've started having a background check on men I consider going forward with. I keep running into men up to their eyeballs in debt. I keep running into men who seem to think after 3 or 4 dates, they can ask me for money. I am a bit of a cynic and just dont agree that 99% of the population are good and decent people. Ditto. Most people are in it for themselves at the end of the day. Imo sex and love bring out the worst in people. I just realized yesterday it has been 7-8mos since I last went on a date. Im feeling like im dodging a bullet. 1
Revolver Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 It's more prevalent in mainstream culture while female bashing is more prevalent in anonymous online forums/blogs. You're much more likely to see a group of women on a tv show talking about how All men lie/cheat/aint **** etc than vice versa.
GorillaTheater Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 I read here a lot before joining and this is what I saw especially after I started kind of keeping track of it. There is a wider variety of women who seem to "bash" men, but they don't do it as often. There are just a handful of men who bash women but they do it everywhere on LS. Even their views on things like cheating are very different depending on if it is a man or woman. More women whine but not as often. Less men whine but the ones who do whine everywhere. Interesting observation, and I can't say I disagree.
Frank2thepoint Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 But if you view it as the relationship didn't work but you did gain new friends, experiences etc then its not so much of a "loss" is it? I understand exactly what you are saying but it just seems like a very counter productive way of looking at things. Of course a relationship provides an experience. You are correct it is not a loss, because you gained something that has affected you, tempering your perspective (for better or for worse). But in the throes of a relationship ending, the emotional repercussions a person experiences are counterproductive to what experiences the person gained. It's the expectation that a person gets a return on their investment.
most_distant_galaxy Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 It's the expectation that a person gets a return on their investment. This is what I call conditional love.
hotpotato Posted November 6, 2014 Posted November 6, 2014 This is what I call conditional love. Yes, and romantic relationships are conditional. 1
Tayken Posted November 7, 2014 Posted November 7, 2014 It's more prevalent in mainstream culture while female bashing is more prevalent in anonymous online forums/blogs. You're much more likely to see a group of women on a tv show talking about how All men lie/cheat/aint **** etc than vice versa. Yes..come February time, the commercials / ads are bombarded with "get her this", "for that special woman in your life", "the mother of your child"......and am talking diamonds/rings/stuff of that caliber. Same for mother's day, Father's day doesn't get that much love. There are even commercial on the radio now about gambling and addiction, and they are all men-centric, as if women don't drink/gamble/have addictions Apparently, yesterday was suppose to be make dinner for your gf/wife day The flaw in this nonsense is that in reality, men are the ones doing the cooking in a lot of homes. There is no prize for guessing who could have come up with this
lollipopspot Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 Yes..come February time, the commercials / ads are bombarded with "get her this", "for that special woman in your life", "the mother of your child"......and am talking diamonds/rings/stuff of that caliber... Apparently, yesterday was suppose to be make dinner for your gf/wife day The flaw in this nonsense is that in reality, men are the ones doing the cooking in a lot of homes. There is no prize for guessing who could have come up with this You don't understand advertising at all. It's meant to sell products, not to praise mothers or women. But in fact, advertising is still a very male dominated field. So you can mostly thank men (who want to sell products) for coming up with these ads. Where Are All The Women Creative Directors? | Fast Company | Business + Innovation 1
Snaggletooth Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 I've spent much of my life in all male environments. Work, play, in the locker room. I'd put the ratio at 50/50. When the cats away they mice do play and you girls only get to see the tip of the iceberg. I also spend much of my working life in and out of people's homes. Usually at a time when hubby is at work. You girls as just as bad.
Tayken Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 You don't understand advertising at all. It's meant to sell products, not to praise mothers or women. But in fact, advertising is still a very male dominated field. So you can mostly thank men (who want to sell products) for coming up with these ads. Where Are All The Women Creative Directors? | Fast Company | Business + Innovation And you completely misunderstood my point....I also noticed that you managed to dig out a link that helped your cause. A business is there to make profit, and yes things are geared towards certain demographics. Just like most stores have toddler girl clothes more than boys clothes in stores...there is a notion that parents buy more clothes for girls than boys. There is even a store that is only little girls clothes
Camaro Guy Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 I actually read that there was a survey taken and 80% of men are unattractive to women period. So that leaves the other 20% to capitalize on that. 1
Camaro Guy Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 You don't understand advertising at all. It's meant to sell products, not to praise mothers or women. But in fact, advertising is still a very male dominated field. So you can mostly thank men (who want to sell products) for coming up with these ads. Where Are All The Women Creative Directors? | Fast Company | Business + Innovation That makes no sense when women buy most of the stuff. The account for the largest portion of the buying market. 2
Mister Zen Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 I think itmismharder nowadays to make a connection, to get people to care about you and love you. It is too easy to have the "always,mme first" attitude. I've started having a background check on men I consider going forward with. I keep running into men up to their eyeballs in debt. I keep running into men who seem to think after 3 or 4 dates, they can ask me for money. I am a bit of a cynic and just dont agree that 99% of the population are good and decent people. One of the problems with society is its need to assign a label to everything: Good, Bad, Nice, Mean, Smart, Stupid, etc. The reality is people are complex and everyone has good and bad in them. Most people are just trying to get by and really are not out to intentionally harm others. 1
Mister Zen Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 I actually read that there was a survey taken and 80% of men are unattractive to women period. So that leaves the other 20% to capitalize on that. Which is why most women supposedly "settle". There isn't enough of that 20% to go around. But women settling is often viewed the wrong way. People say it like she is taking less than what she deserves. In reality, the level of quality most women seek in a partner is not in proportion with their own level of quality. More simply put.. they want a lot from man but offer little to a man outside of sexual arousal.
leavesonautumn Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 I actually read that there was a survey taken and 80% of men are unattractive to women period. So that leaves the other 20% to capitalize on that. So, you read that this survey somehow exists but haven't seen it yourself? What was the basis of the survey? How varied were the people surveyed? Did they ask 15 year old girls? What was the actual question? Surveys are generally yes or no questions so there is no way to explain an answer. Not everyone is interested in taking part in a survey so answers can be rushed or not even answered. Did men take part in this survey? Was it women only who took part in this survey? I don't remember taking part in this survey. Any other ladies on this thread take part in this mysterious survey? This 80/20 discussion that's going on around this site is so flawed, it's embarrassing. The only people who look bad are the people continuously posting this like it's a fact. I think I win for using the word survey the most in one post. I literally googled the words "only 20% of men are attractive to women" and the websites on the first page were (unsurprisingly) linked to reddit, the bodybuilding forum, yahoo ask, sluthate.com and various other forums. Interesting. Oh and I found it, apparently it was OKCupid, which is where all our real life facts and tips should come from.
lollipopspot Posted November 8, 2014 Posted November 8, 2014 (edited) That makes no sense when women buy most of the stuff. The account for the largest portion of the buying market. What doesn't make sense? The poster cattily implied that women are producing mother's day etc. advertisements so that men will buy them stuff. I reply that actually advertising is still a male dominated profession and regardless it's not about praising women, it's about selling products. That the main consumer purchasers are women means that things like dish soap are marketed to women. Valentines day to some degree is also marketed to women to create an expectation. But advertising is not some female plot to get males to buy things for women. It's a plot by mostly male CEOs to sell their products to the public, via a male dominated advertising profession. They do what they do to sell products. Edited November 8, 2014 by lollipopspot 1
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