Lack of communication and heard nothing from him yet

[Eli4]

Hi I'm new here so let me introduce my bf(20)and I(19) briefly. I'm from Asia and he's from America.

First met: penpal site two years ago

Second relationship(don't really feel like talking about the first one)we got back together on October, so now it's been a over a year of our ldr. (haven't met him yet but my family's moving into the state where he lives for only a year).

 

He works at a supermarket and his working time has changed this month changes day by day like for example, 5am to 1pm on Thursday and 11am to 7pm Wednesday, and his the days he's off changes too. Last week he had none. And because his work is quite demanding he always comes back home and sleep, or he hangs out with his friends drinking. What's worse is that his phone also started to go out of nuts. One time he tried to text me but the messages weren't sent at all. Ever since then we've lacked communication. He would text me like maximum 3 times minimum 1 time a day. The day before yesterday he told me that his new phone will come tomorrow(which would be yesterday). And since then I haven't heard from him. I sent some texts to his old phone but he hasn't read them yet and in case he won't be able to check his old phone I sent him an email today in the morning and he hasn't read it yet. I don't know how long I'll have to wait till he replies.

Because of the lack of communication between us the atmosphere has been quite dead for some time. He did say he missed talking to me.

And plus I have a big test coming up next Thursday that I've been studying for for a year and I'm going through the phase where I'm super depressed and I don't want our relationship to get in the way because it's really driving me crazy. These days I cried several times because of the depression I'm suffering from and I have no one to ask help for. This kind of sit happened two times. Once he was hospitalized with his phone at home for ten days and the other time his phone didn't work at all because his batteries were defective for ten days. I didn't tell him that I was upset and pretended to be cool about it 'cause I didn't want to sound needy. That's why I told him to send me an email in case this kind of thing happens again but he didn't. What should I do to overcome this situation? Should I like get mad at him when he texts me back because I told him to mail me but he didn't? I just feel like he doesn't care about my feelings..How can I overcome with a situation like this?..

[mariekatie]

Hi I'm new here so let me introduce my bf(20)and I(19) briefly. I'm from Asia and he's from America.

First met: penpal site two years ago

Second relationship(don't really feel like talking about the first one)we got back together on October, so now it's been a over a year of our ldr. (haven't met him yet but my family's moving into the state where he lives for only a year).

 

He works at a supermarket and his working time has changed this month changes day by day like for example, 5am to 1pm on Thursday and 11am to 7pm Wednesday, and his the days he's off changes too. Last week he had none. And because his work is quite demanding he always comes back home and sleep, or he hangs out with his friends drinking. What's worse is that his phone also started to go out of nuts. One time he tried to text me but the messages weren't sent at all. Ever since then we've lacked communication. He would text me like maximum 3 times minimum 1 time a day. The day before yesterday he told me that his new phone will come tomorrow(which would be yesterday). And since then I haven't heard from him. I sent some texts to his old phone but he hasn't read them yet and in case he won't be able to check his old phone I sent him an email today in the morning and he hasn't read it yet. I don't know how long I'll have to wait till he replies.

Because of the lack of communication between us the atmosphere has been quite dead for some time. He did say he missed talking to me.

And plus I have a big test coming up next Thursday that I've been studying for for a year and I'm going through the phase where I'm super depressed and I don't want our relationship to get in the way because it's really driving me crazy. These days I cried several times because of the depression I'm suffering from and I have no one to ask help for. This kind of sit happened two times. Once he was hospitalized with his phone at home for ten days and the other time his phone didn't work at all because his batteries were defective for ten days. I didn't tell him that I was upset and pretended to be cool about it 'cause I didn't want to sound needy. That's why I told him to send me an email in case this kind of thing happens again but he didn't. What should I do to overcome this situation? Should I like get mad at him when he texts me back because I told him to mail me but he didn't? I just feel like he doesn't care about my feelings..How can I overcome with a situation like this?..

 

 

I know how you feel exactly! My previous LDR was like this as well. In the end, i felt that i was more into him than he was into me. Firstly, was he in bad situation at the hospital? If no, he could had try ways to get to you, no excuses. 10 days is way too long, unless he was in a coma or so.

My ex would often do this as well while my current guy contact me every single day, even for 5 mins. If a person really care, they would contact you as much as possible. And if they couldn't for some reason, they would let you know.

 

You should talk to him. What makes my previous LDR failed is lack of communication. I went crazy but he didn't know. I understand why you can't focus on your exams but please try,do not throw away your future for a guy. Anyway, why is it that both of you haven't met?

Is there any plans to meet? it's really important and it helps alot as you have something to look forward to.

 

If i were you, i'll be mad but i would talk to him properly. I will tell him how i feel, how upset and worried i was. Try to communicate, not fight. I used to always "throw a bomb" at my guy when i'm unhappy and he will be confused as why i was so mad. But now i changed my approach and things had been improving. I still get frustrated at communication but it's so much better. We grow stronger through every fights. I guess most guys are just dense, they just can't be emotionally there for us all the time.

 

In this case, i feel that you and him have a different mindset in communication.So talk it out, if he cares, he would make an effort.

[cerridwen]

For a record setting 44th time, I dropped my phone.

It doesn't ring now so I miss his calls.

His Whatsapp alert doesn't go off so he tried my Skype but I wasn't logged in.

I sent him an email, he sent one back about technology and its suckitude.

This is me and my fiancé, who is 5,000 miles away.

 

So, things break / become unavailable but attempts at contact need to continue from both people. When there's enough interest, they do.

I think it's understandable to be upset about this latest incident.

IMO it'd also be wise to ask yourself if you want a RL that involves so little effort/interest on his part.

Who wants to be constantly nudge someone into doing the right thing?