SycamoreCircle Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Uh oh, Looks like we got a snake oil salesman in town. OK sure, I'll take some of Dr. Dooyourite's Guaranteed Reconciliation Formula. What?! You telling me it cures Athlete's Foot and Whooping Cough?! Well, put me down for 2, count 'em 2, bottles!
Author jackinthebox1 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 Sure, you can play that game. Yes, it sometimes works because of the general psychology of human beings. Sometimes it works because some people want what they can't have and like wondering. But, I think this quote from your first post is important: Not saying your method is wrong or is the reason they never worked out long-term. Hell, I really don't know what I was trying to get at but I'm bored. Lets be honest. 99% of our relationships arent going to work. If they did it would be easy. Im not here to sell snake oil or whatever the guy above is on about but there is nothing wrong with having a bit of patience and hope. And that's what it is, patience. If you are prepared to wait 6 months, 5 years, whatever, you most likely will get another chance. If you leave things well. The first gf i got back with i left things terribly. But i still managed to get back with her a second time. All i did then was leave her calls for a few days n she cracked. Im not saying it will work. Im NC at the moment and i've just ignored my exes first drunk text. She is not as broken as the other girls and very smart so i get the feeling that she will stay NC but if i do have feelings for her in a years time and i see her out and want to ask her for a coffee, i may go for it because its life, love and all the stuff we feel in between is what adds to the journey. Im not advocating being friends with your ex. Im saying LC can work but you of course have to be prepared for it not working. My best friend as i said married his wife after her dumping him 3 times. My friend accross from me as i write this is with his gf that he broke up with 2 years ago. She basically stayed friends, kept having sex with him, really was just a lapdog for a while but now they are really happy. But then again, he was also going insane when she went back to her ex. So who knows. I def dont know. But dont think its impossible. Just be patient, improve yourself and keep attractive and more than anything try not to say hurtful things, they will linger
LisaSmith_1970 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 No Contact does work! In the past, there has been 2 instances where the guy told me he was done with me. I did NC, and then 1 month later he contacted me-he totally forgot about what happened and we were talking again. Then, this another guy that I was casually seeing told me he wasn't interested in me anymore and I told him the same thing. I did 3 weeks no contact, then I decided to send him a "hello" text. He responded and we talked like our fight had never happened. Seems like guys just brush it off and forget about it. Some, not all.
bb1205 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Damn JITB, I even threw in a cute smiley face and I still got rejected -_-
Author jackinthebox1 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 No Contact does work! In the past, there has been 2 instances where the guy told me he was done with me. I did NC, and then 1 month later he contacted me-he totally forgot about what happened and we were talking again. Then, this another guy that I was casually seeing told me he wasn't interested in me anymore and I told him the same thing. I did 3 weeks no contact, then I decided to send him a "hello" text. He responded and we talked like our fight had never happened. Seems like guys just brush it off and forget about it. Some, not all. Thats quite true actually. My ex and i only had one real fight and after giving it a couple of days i really didnt care what it was about n thought we were meeting up to sort things out. She broke it off because it freaked her out. Girls definitely hold on to those thoughts more than guys
Sugarkane Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 I don't agree with you. I've only heard back from one ex and all I got was verbal abuse and everything blamed on me (yet another text dumper). If you're contacting your ex, won't they think you're desperate and can't move on? I'd rather have some space, grieve and reflect. Not keep contacting them.
Author jackinthebox1 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 I dont know what you guys are doing in the relationships at the time but you must be acting ****ty or she isnt going to contact you shouting at you and giving you abuse. If you treated her well, left things well and she isnt crazy then you wont get abuse. And im only saying you try once, if you WANT to. You dont have to, but its a period of NC followed by you waiting for them to contact you or incase you bump into them. Im starting to think a lot of people on here are actually mental and that's why it broke up in the first place!
Sugarkane Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 Not neccessarily. I've never cheated on or hurt anyone. Yet I've never heard back yet from dumpers. I guess its easier to completely cut someone off, than admit youre a lying, cheating Ahole, you gets off on hurting people. I dont know what you guys are doing in the relationships at the time but you must be acting ****ty or she isnt going to contact you shouting at you and giving you abuse. If you treated her well, left things well and she isnt crazy then you wont get abuse. And im only saying you try once, if you WANT to. You dont have to, but its a period of NC followed by you waiting for them to contact you or incase you bump into them. Im starting to think a lot of people on here are actually mental and that's why it broke up in the first place!
Author jackinthebox1 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 Not neccessarily. I've never cheated on or hurt anyone. Yet I've never heard back yet from dumpers. I guess its easier to completely cut someone off, than admit youre a lying, cheating Ahole, you gets off on hurting people. Just the fact that you came out with that means you are bitter, you havent grown at all and you still blame her for everything. So yes, you probably did deserve to get shouted at as you have no clue what her emotional needs were. Sorry if that's harsh but its transparent
April Moon Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 I dont know what you guys are doing in the relationships at the time but you must be acting ****ty or she isnt going to contact you shouting at you and giving you abuse. If you treated her well, left things well and she isnt crazy then you wont get abuse. And im only saying you try once, if you WANT to. You dont have to, but its a period of NC followed by you waiting for them to contact you or incase you bump into them. Im starting to think a lot of people on here are actually mental and that's why it broke up in the first place! I don't think this is true at all. There are many different reasons why someone wouldn't contact another person. For example, a dumpee might not reach out because they are embarrassed about what they did to a dumpee. Or if a dumper was using a rebound but got back with their original ex, they probably wouldn't reach out. Also, it depends how long a relationship was. There are many factors for why a person wouldn't reach out. You calling people mental isn't helping anything. The people who believe in strong NC and not getting back with an ex are just trying to help the dumpee. They have seen this time and time again. It doesn't work. People who are hurt are just reading that you got back with all your exes and not the fact that you are not with any of them currently. Why would you encourage people and get their hopes up?? If anything, you can discuss how if people wanted to get back with their exes how they should change and grow before they do.
Author jackinthebox1 Posted November 5, 2014 Author Posted November 5, 2014 im not giving you a quick fix solution but i dont advocate that you wont ever get another chance because you may. But it comes with patience and personal change. You most likely wont want that person back by the time you have given them the space. The best thing about being dumped is that you face the full impact immediately, they may not have that moment for months. As far as people being mental. Honestly, if you are calling your ex an ass hole or whatever else then you have some issues there and it clearly wasnt perfect. I dont have any exes that call me after 4 months to hurl abuse at me, that just isnt natural behaviour unless the relationship was done to begin with
tikay00 Posted November 5, 2014 Posted November 5, 2014 I dont have any exes that call me after 4 months to hurl abuse at me, that just isnt natural behaviour unless the relationship was done to begin with This, I do agree with. If your ex calls you up after that long, and verbally abuses you, something went REALLY wrong.
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