daizy Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 This is a really general post about my thoughts of dating right now and I'm trying to wrap my head around it. I'm not eager for a relationship but I like dating and having someone special to share experiences with over casual dating and moving guy to guy. After breaking up with my long term ex, I jumped into another relationship that relied on sex and I got really emotionally caught up in it (learned my lesson, first as*hole experience). Then I had a casual hook up with someone new which was exciting, and we let that one be. And right now I'm seeing this guy (again casual) once a week who I almost fell for completely until I reevaluated the situation and took myself out emotionally because I realized he wasn't bf material anyway (he's cheated on his exes I can't stand that). The thing is once I'm not emotionally invested I lose some fun in it! I like him, but if I'm not seeing this go anywhere it's going to get boring for me. I like connecting with people. But then I end up liking them. Whats the fun in it if there's no bonding??? I don't want to drop out of the dating scene and say "screw guys" over my own bitterness because well no I like guys. But I don't want to be a heartless bitch either. It's just frustrating dating right now in my twenties when everyone's doing the casual dating thing and fishing around and having sex with many partners and it's like, that's not what I want to do all the time. But I don't like to focus on a guy and drop other ones when I know the other guy isn't only focusing on me either, so I keep my options open... meanwhile wanting a specific person but knowing it wouldn't happen with them, and every other guy will just make me want that ONE I DO like more.... Am I supposed to conform to this dating life or is there a way to work around it ??? Does it ever stop as you get older or has it always been this way?!
Author daizy Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 It's only this way because people have a plethora of options available to them thanks to the internet. Facebook, online dating websites, dating and hookup apps etc. Back in the day, you found someone and you settled down and created a life with them. As they say in business, give a customer only one choice and the purchase is simple. Give them a dozen choices and they might end up buying none because they can't make up their mind! That's a big reason yes, the internet makes it so easy. However I know this one guy who just goes out a lot and introduces himself to girls often and he doesn't have instagram/facebook ect. So I feel like it's not only the internet but a mentality too - to just hook up with as many people.
SawtoothMars Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 . I like connecting with people. But then I end up liking them. Whats the fun in it if there's no bonding??? ??? Does it ever stop as you get older or has it always been this way?! No... this crap is new. I remember dating back in the late 1990's and it was very different. When I started dating again at 30... it's a totally different ballgame. If you don't try to rape a lady on the first date she assumes you are gay... or are not into her. The guys ditch anyone who doesn't put out within 3 dates. My suggestion is to just do what I did. Play the game the way you want to and look for people who are exceptions not the rule.
Assasda Posted November 4, 2014 Posted November 4, 2014 Seems like you have a lot of insecurities in your life. And you have a lot of vulnerabilities, Try working on solving those, you just might be able to let go and enjoy the ride
Author daizy Posted November 4, 2014 Author Posted November 4, 2014 Seems like you have a lot of insecurities in your life. And you have a lot of vulnerabilities, Try working on solving those, you just might be able to let go and enjoy the ride I'm secure up until the point I end up liking the guy I'm seeing... then I feel vulnerable. :/
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